OT: Dad jokes
- Thread starter DJ Spanky
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Read in Catskills accent:
Waiter, taste the soup.
What'sa matter? It not hot enough?
Taste the soup.
Is it cold? I can have it heated up.
Taste the soup.
Too salty? I tell the cook about that sometimes.
Just taste the soup.
OK, where's your spoon?
Ah HAH!
Waiter, taste the soup.
What'sa matter? It not hot enough?
Taste the soup.
Is it cold? I can have it heated up.
Taste the soup.
Too salty? I tell the cook about that sometimes.
Just taste the soup.
OK, where's your spoon?
Ah HAH!
Why does Norway put bar codes on their warships?
So they can scan da navy in.
So they can scan da navy in.
I'd forgotten this was in this movie. I heard it originally years before -- might have been Buddy Hackett.
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer….
Mostly the taste.
Mostly the taste.
What do you call a potato shaped like a penis?
Dictator.
Dictator.
My boss calls me the Computer. But it's not for my amazing calculating skills. If he leaves me alone for 15 minutes, I fall asleep.
In honor of my Pops who just passed away on May 28th… he could really tell a joke, and I’m sure he has his old friends laughing today:
He would tell the tragic story of how his neighbor Patty worked at the local brewery and one day fell into a vat of beer and drowned.
So after Patty drowned the brewery’s foreman went to his house to tell his widow the sad news. The widow Mary, ever concerned with Patty’s well being said to the foreman “tell me kind sir, please tell me that my dear Patty didn’t suffer.” The foreman thought for a moment and said “no I don’t believe Patty suffered, he got out three times to go to the bathroom.”
RIP Pops I hope to smile whenever I think of you
He would tell the tragic story of how his neighbor Patty worked at the local brewery and one day fell into a vat of beer and drowned.
So after Patty drowned the brewery’s foreman went to his house to tell his widow the sad news. The widow Mary, ever concerned with Patty’s well being said to the foreman “tell me kind sir, please tell me that my dear Patty didn’t suffer.” The foreman thought for a moment and said “no I don’t believe Patty suffered, he got out three times to go to the bathroom.”
RIP Pops I hope to smile whenever I think of you
What do you call a fortune telling dwarf that has escaped from jail?
a small medium at large.
a small medium at large.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon…..,I’ll let you know.
A group of professional, successful, rich men are all in a room. They represent business, politics, sports, entertainment, etc. Which one wears the biggest Hat ?
The one with the Biggest Head !
The one with the Biggest Head !
What’s the difference between a momma gorilla and the Prince of Wales?
one is a hairy parent and the other is a heir apparent