OT: One Line Jokes
- Thread starter zappaa
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Because it's Friday...
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Not a traditional, one line joke. But...
Spilling hot coffee on your crotch is never a good thing. I don't give a f*** how freaky you are.
Spilling hot coffee on your crotch is never a good thing. I don't give a f*** how freaky you are.
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.
A priest walks into a hotel and asks the clerk: "Is the pornography in my room disabled?" The clerk replies: "It's normal pornography, you sick f%&k."
Cinderella is upset because she can't go to the ball. Her fairy godmother appears and tells her that she can go to the ball under 2 conditions: she has to wear a diaphragm, and she has to be back by midnight or her magic will turn the diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin. Cinderella staggers in at 3am with a dazed smile on her face. "Where have you been? It's 3 in the morning. What happened to the pumpkin?" "I met a guy at the ball and he took care of it." Cinderella replied. "What is the name of this person who can counteract my magic?" The fairy godmother asked. "Peter, Peter, something or other", Cinderella said.
Cinderella is upset because she can't go to the ball. Her fairy godmother appears and tells her that she can go to the ball under 2 conditions: she has to wear a diaphragm, and she has to be back by midnight or her magic will turn the diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin. Cinderella staggers in at 3am with a dazed smile on her face. "Where have you been? It's 3 in the morning. What happened to the pumpkin?" "I met a guy at the ball and he took care of it." Cinderella replied. "What is the name of this person who can counteract my magic?" The fairy godmother asked. "Peter, Peter, something or other", Cinderella said.
You're 10 times more likely to die when your girlfriend says, "I'm fine" than when you are flying on an airplane.
The storm winds blew violently.The rain sheeted down.'Tis not a fit night out for man or beast observed the Centaur.
Reminds me of the Full Metal Jacket joke.
"Want to buy some ARVN (South Vietnam army solder) rifles? Never been fired and only dropped once!"