You paid your last bet in Chipper Jones cards.
GYERO ARCHIVE
- Thread starter anthonys735
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or preferably government cheese - bc that **** is FIRE, and I’m not even trying to be funny with that.
This is some funny stuff.
If anyone is wondering how Chris Mack is doing: This afternoon, I was shopping next to him at the NIKE Store at the Destination Outlet Mall (a bad one) in Jeffersonville, OH.
I thought about asking him how great if felt to be able to wear Nike’s again. But, I didn’t want to bum him (and myself) out by acknowledging that we were both shopping at the NIKE Store a the Jeffersonville, OH Outlet Mall on otherwise pleasant summer Friday afternoon.
(((KEEP THIS IN GYERO.)))
*
I thought about asking him how great if felt to be able to wear Nike’s again. But, I didn’t want to bum him (and myself) out by acknowledging that we were both shopping at the NIKE Store a the Jeffersonville, OH Outlet Mall on otherwise pleasant summer Friday afternoon.
(((KEEP THIS IN GYERO.)))
*
Besides killing time while his kids shop for fun kicks, he’s doing very well after being bought out as a high-major NCAAMBB Head Coach for $4.8MM over three years.
I've already contributed to the Schem fund. Thanks Shady Sharpe!
You're still mad at that accurate description of your wack *** wardrobe?
Not really. I'm good with my comfortable clothes.
And on my worst day, I'll still only be the third most lesbian looking guy here after SAE and his jersey and a clean shaven Huber.
Friday night/Saturday morning roast.
I’m here for it. Not sure many others are though.
Haven’t played golf in over 2 years. Yesterday, played on a challenging course with some buddies. My eyesight precluded me from playing because I have a marked case of kerataconus and basically not being able to see much past 100 yards. Anyway, got new high-tech contact lenses and tried out the new scopes.
Outside of a few errant blasts, I played extremely well. Shoulder turn was still fluid and I could still control some spin. Short game rusty but lots of muscle memory touch still left in the arsenal. Pleased for sure.
My mission of getting back on the course is to drag my wife and 8yo son with me. They can’t ***** about the time away if they’re with me. Wife was an ace player back in her SHA/Hurstbourne days and needs to find that spark again. I would kill for her swing
.
Was just nice to put the phone down and completely disconnect. We all went back to my bar, watched the Yanx/Rangers and got hammered.
NYC
LEX in 3 weeks for UK orientation. LFG.
Outside of a few errant blasts, I played extremely well. Shoulder turn was still fluid and I could still control some spin. Short game rusty but lots of muscle memory touch still left in the arsenal. Pleased for sure.
My mission of getting back on the course is to drag my wife and 8yo son with me. They can’t ***** about the time away if they’re with me. Wife was an ace player back in her SHA/Hurstbourne days and needs to find that spark again. I would kill for her swing
.Was just nice to put the phone down and completely disconnect. We all went back to my bar, watched the Yanx/Rangers and got hammered.
NYC
LEX in 3 weeks for UK orientation. LFG.Settle down.
I'm top notch at marksmanship and accurate casting of fishing poles. Used to be able to chug a beer faster than anyone on campus back in the day too.
- Man, there's nothing like a beautiful, 75-degree day to wake up to on an early-June day.
- If we're talking about handsome men in 80's music videos, I'll invest in Robert Palmer. And his models "playing" music had Matt's attention*, too.
- I still think Kirk Gibson's homerun in the 1988 World Series is up there for me as one of the most improbable endings to a game ever.
Also, two things would be okay to listen to:
Vin Scully's call of the dinger and just silence as Gibson rounded the bases with arm-pumping going around 2nd base.
Jack Buck's, "It's-a-gonna-be-homerun! I don't believe what I just saw!" as the Dodger limped across the dirt to third base.
Also love Tommy Lasorda running his *** out of the dugout.
But, honestly, screw the Dodgers and the A's.
#1990reds
- If we're throwing craps, I'm doing $10 hard 8's all/air. Don't be wishing you did, as well, as I hit.
- Dick Proenneke's "Alaska Alone in the Wilderness" will always be my go-to if I want to just chill out and let the mind relax. Spent thirty years alone and living his best life. Bad ***. Sorry, Bob Ross, your painting shows are not forgotten with forms of meditation.
- Saturday Six (random 80's playlist):
Swing Out Sister - "Breakout"
Howard Jones - "Things Are Only Going to Get Better"
Joe Jackson - "Steppin' Out"
ABC - "Be Near Me"
Naked Eyes - "Always Something There to Remind Me"
Tears for Fears - "Sowing the Seeds of Love"
- Let's go Mo Donegal for the Belmont. I foresee Rich Strike being over-bet HUGE. Irad Ortiz is on fire, too.
- Cornhole/Dart tournament at the local pub with split-the-pots every hour starting at 1. Deal.
- Did I mention it's a beautiful, 75...wait...80-degree day? Go have fun, gang.
* you know what I mean up there.
- If we're talking about handsome men in 80's music videos, I'll invest in Robert Palmer. And his models "playing" music had Matt's attention*, too.
- I still think Kirk Gibson's homerun in the 1988 World Series is up there for me as one of the most improbable endings to a game ever.
Also, two things would be okay to listen to:
Vin Scully's call of the dinger and just silence as Gibson rounded the bases with arm-pumping going around 2nd base.
Jack Buck's, "It's-a-gonna-be-homerun! I don't believe what I just saw!" as the Dodger limped across the dirt to third base.
Also love Tommy Lasorda running his *** out of the dugout.
But, honestly, screw the Dodgers and the A's.
#1990reds
- If we're throwing craps, I'm doing $10 hard 8's all/air. Don't be wishing you did, as well, as I hit.
- Dick Proenneke's "Alaska Alone in the Wilderness" will always be my go-to if I want to just chill out and let the mind relax. Spent thirty years alone and living his best life. Bad ***. Sorry, Bob Ross, your painting shows are not forgotten with forms of meditation.
- Saturday Six (random 80's playlist):
Swing Out Sister - "Breakout"
Howard Jones - "Things Are Only Going to Get Better"
Joe Jackson - "Steppin' Out"
ABC - "Be Near Me"
Naked Eyes - "Always Something There to Remind Me"
Tears for Fears - "Sowing the Seeds of Love"
- Let's go Mo Donegal for the Belmont. I foresee Rich Strike being over-bet HUGE. Irad Ortiz is on fire, too.
- Cornhole/Dart tournament at the local pub with split-the-pots every hour starting at 1. Deal.
- Did I mention it's a beautiful, 75...wait...80-degree day? Go have fun, gang.
* you know what I mean up there.
Memorial shorts:
We made our way to destination 18 (www.destination18.com), a sweet little house on the 18th hole with all you can drink and eat that merryl lynch rents out as a perk for all their filthy rich clients that invest part of their war chest with them
apparently these filthy rich clients are awful tippers as I gave one of the bartenders a 10 dollar tip and he treated me like royalty for the morning. My “par Paloma” was basically a full glass of tequila with a splash of grapefruit
by about noon I was pretty much plastered and me and my wife decided to walk around the course. As soon as I walk out the house party and step onto the cart path I absolutely SLAM into a guy and spill drinks on both our shirts. I’m apologizing and looking at the mess on myself but can’t help feeling people just staring daggers at me. I just feel like I’m being watched by dozens of people. I look up and sure enough, I slammed into Ryan Day the OSU football coach. He was nice about it and I might’ve stammered “go bucks” after apologizing, an absolute pro move to diffuse the situation if I do say so myself
As we were walking by one of the holes I look to our left and about 5 feet from us is Ricky Fowler. I inform my wife he’s one of the more famous golfers and my plastered wife shouts “BUT HES SO TINY!!!”. He looked immediately at us and tipped his cap. Since he handled my wife’s insult so well we decided to follow him around and for such a tiny lil guy he sure hits the **** out of the ball. And he didn’t miss a single time! These guys are unbelievable!
The talent there compared to the usual gargoyle fest that is columbus was just *chefs kiss*. Also the staff and attendees in general were so over the top nice. “Excuse me sir, if you wouldn’t mind moving just a bit to let this cart through, sorry for the trouble”. I’ll allow whatever offensive thoughts there are to go through your head as to why, but it was certainly different from any other sporting event.
since I post in GYERO of course I took a gummy and as it started hitting made our way back to the house to eat and drink more. As I’m standing in line I couldn’t help but recognize a voice behind me. It sounded so familiar but initially I couldn’t put my finger on it. Then it hit me: it was Jimmy from the Dave and Jimmy radio show. I’ve been listening to the guy for 11 years and had no clue what he looked like. His part is the kinda “cool” guy that talks about how Megan Fox’s elbows are too pointy. Anyway the guy was like a 50 year old hideous Greek man. My shock and disgust as well as the gummy made me stare at him with my mouth open. I realized I was staring at him like that because he looked at me like “WTF?”. This previous anecdote was for my Columbus peeps to enjoy. It was very disappointing though not sure I’ll be able to listen anymore.
Pro golfer>>>>>>>anything else. Just no way any sport can compare to that lifestyle. Unreal.
We made our way to destination 18 (www.destination18.com), a sweet little house on the 18th hole with all you can drink and eat that merryl lynch rents out as a perk for all their filthy rich clients that invest part of their war chest with them
apparently these filthy rich clients are awful tippers as I gave one of the bartenders a 10 dollar tip and he treated me like royalty for the morning. My “par Paloma” was basically a full glass of tequila with a splash of grapefruit
by about noon I was pretty much plastered and me and my wife decided to walk around the course. As soon as I walk out the house party and step onto the cart path I absolutely SLAM into a guy and spill drinks on both our shirts. I’m apologizing and looking at the mess on myself but can’t help feeling people just staring daggers at me. I just feel like I’m being watched by dozens of people. I look up and sure enough, I slammed into Ryan Day the OSU football coach. He was nice about it and I might’ve stammered “go bucks” after apologizing, an absolute pro move to diffuse the situation if I do say so myself
As we were walking by one of the holes I look to our left and about 5 feet from us is Ricky Fowler. I inform my wife he’s one of the more famous golfers and my plastered wife shouts “BUT HES SO TINY!!!”. He looked immediately at us and tipped his cap. Since he handled my wife’s insult so well we decided to follow him around and for such a tiny lil guy he sure hits the **** out of the ball. And he didn’t miss a single time! These guys are unbelievable!
The talent there compared to the usual gargoyle fest that is columbus was just *chefs kiss*. Also the staff and attendees in general were so over the top nice. “Excuse me sir, if you wouldn’t mind moving just a bit to let this cart through, sorry for the trouble”. I’ll allow whatever offensive thoughts there are to go through your head as to why, but it was certainly different from any other sporting event.
since I post in GYERO of course I took a gummy and as it started hitting made our way back to the house to eat and drink more. As I’m standing in line I couldn’t help but recognize a voice behind me. It sounded so familiar but initially I couldn’t put my finger on it. Then it hit me: it was Jimmy from the Dave and Jimmy radio show. I’ve been listening to the guy for 11 years and had no clue what he looked like. His part is the kinda “cool” guy that talks about how Megan Fox’s elbows are too pointy. Anyway the guy was like a 50 year old hideous Greek man. My shock and disgust as well as the gummy made me stare at him with my mouth open. I realized I was staring at him like that because he looked at me like “WTF?”. This previous anecdote was for my Columbus peeps to enjoy. It was very disappointing though not sure I’ll be able to listen anymore.
Pro golfer>>>>>>>anything else. Just no way any sport can compare to that lifestyle. Unreal.
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Lifestyle yes… but to stay atop the golf world the amount of practice and mental focus required is prolly the most draining. Nothing more viciously memorable than collapsing than Mito or Van de Velde.
I’d rather be a boxer. Train for 6mos, fight. Guaranteed pay. Chill. Rinse repeat in a year. Make a comeback at 40. Rake.
I’d rather be a boxer. Train for 6mos, fight. Guaranteed pay. Chill. Rinse repeat in a year. Make a comeback at 40. Rake.
Yeah, I much rather take vicious shots to the head and body than walk around a golf course to make my millions. Good call!
I mean what the hell else are we talking about?
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Might do you some good IMO.
i understood lifestyle as the balance and pace of your professional sports career and personal life.
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In my 20s, I always found the Columbus talent pool quite strong- mostly because of the vast amount of young people overall in that city. Am I mistaken? Was I just drunk (I was fwiw)?
Used to go to Dublin back in mid 2000’s and was always blown away by the talent there.
You have to factor in that I did a little tour of the US in my 20s/early 30s by going to 4 different schools. I went to UK, University of Arizona, WVU, and then Ohio State. I was excited for Ohio State as I was my oldest there, meaning I would appreciate and find the co-eds the hottest, but man was it a letdown. Might as well been a different species from the other 3 schools. Now that I’m in the burbs it’s worse. I’d say maybe 10% of people are attractive. I just think the Midwest is probably the least attractive American group.
Lived in Columbus for 6 months after law school. Worst city I’ve ever lived in. The obsession with tOSU Football is hard to explain. It’s literally 24/7/365.
They call it the King of Beers for a reason, fellas. Shew. What a day.
tyler herro cheated on his baby momma. im sure he upgraded. wouldn't take much as his baby momma was gross
- Things an hr guy hears that you can’t say in the work place:
- You let me take a little sniff of that hoo ha?
- I can tell you put those f**k me eyes on this morning baby.
- I have a Miata and the top comes down when yours comes down.
Great way to put a quick 30K in your pocket. If you’re female, of course. All 1099 too because it’s for pain and suffering. Obviously.
- Old hobo on the bus bench that I walk by every work day had a six pack of claw mango yesterday afternoon. Good for him. He’s a nice guy who is well spoken. Probably had a real life at one point. Smack is a real thing.
- Found some prime sirloin steaks in the deep freezer last night. Thick mothertouchers. Thawed and marinated and then grilled those mouthertouchers hot over post oak. Then ate them and drank two bottles of chianti classico. Because why not.
- My wife will not drink the last two drinks out of any vessel for any reason. Coffee cup, wine glass, claw, le croix, whatever. It is maddening and I might f**k her in the *** tonight so I’ll probably get over it.
- Any advice for getting rid of morning glory’s from landscaping? Impossible to get the roots apparently. And they appear to be roundup immune. Things are driving me insane.
- Vern, you had mentioned you like to wear a butt plug when you engage in relations. Did you ever decide on a color?
- You let me take a little sniff of that hoo ha?
- I can tell you put those f**k me eyes on this morning baby.
- I have a Miata and the top comes down when yours comes down.
Great way to put a quick 30K in your pocket. If you’re female, of course. All 1099 too because it’s for pain and suffering. Obviously.
- Old hobo on the bus bench that I walk by every work day had a six pack of claw mango yesterday afternoon. Good for him. He’s a nice guy who is well spoken. Probably had a real life at one point. Smack is a real thing.
- Found some prime sirloin steaks in the deep freezer last night. Thick mothertouchers. Thawed and marinated and then grilled those mouthertouchers hot over post oak. Then ate them and drank two bottles of chianti classico. Because why not.
- My wife will not drink the last two drinks out of any vessel for any reason. Coffee cup, wine glass, claw, le croix, whatever. It is maddening and I might f**k her in the *** tonight so I’ll probably get over it.
- Any advice for getting rid of morning glory’s from landscaping? Impossible to get the roots apparently. And they appear to be roundup immune. Things are driving me insane.
- Vern, you had mentioned you like to wear a butt plug when you engage in relations. Did you ever decide on a color?
Had a good night drinking diesel Michelobs with my old man. Not a finer beer out there. And some of Krazy’s bourbon.
My old man had a funny word. He was regaling my wife with stories of his muscle car days as a youth. His line was something along of, “A Chevelle with 600 HP is a different animal when you’re on windowpane acid and you have to pick which one of three roads to go down.”
My old man had a funny word. He was regaling my wife with stories of his muscle car days as a youth. His line was something along of, “A Chevelle with 600 HP is a different animal when you’re on windowpane acid and you have to pick which one of three roads to go down.”
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- Underrated little June sports day today...playoff hockey and college baseball regional finals to hold over until Game Two tonight. June delivers on occasion.
- Skipped my 30th(!) HS reunion last night. I don't drink, and I'm already too socially awkward around people I KNOW...so why in the world would I be any different around people I haven't seen in decades? Plus, my wife doesn't know anyone I went to school with, so....recipe for disaster, IMO.
- Kids are off to camp for a week, which would normally mean the wife and I bolting and heading off for a nice trip to NYC, or Chicago, or even to Asheville and the mountains, but no...we'll be spending every waking minute trying to get my dad's house cleaned out and ready for listing. Aging parents, man....it sucks.
- So what does everybody put on their burger? I grew up a ketchup/mustard simpleton, but lately I'm just as good with some Duke's and a little Sweet Baby Ray's instead. Maybe even whip up some of that Emmy Sauce (look it up) if I'm feeling feisty. Cheese/tomato/pickle is a given, obviously...I'm not some kind of neanderthal.
- Skipped my 30th(!) HS reunion last night. I don't drink, and I'm already too socially awkward around people I KNOW...so why in the world would I be any different around people I haven't seen in decades? Plus, my wife doesn't know anyone I went to school with, so....recipe for disaster, IMO.
- Kids are off to camp for a week, which would normally mean the wife and I bolting and heading off for a nice trip to NYC, or Chicago, or even to Asheville and the mountains, but no...we'll be spending every waking minute trying to get my dad's house cleaned out and ready for listing. Aging parents, man....it sucks.
- So what does everybody put on their burger? I grew up a ketchup/mustard simpleton, but lately I'm just as good with some Duke's and a little Sweet Baby Ray's instead. Maybe even whip up some of that Emmy Sauce (look it up) if I'm feeling feisty. Cheese/tomato/pickle is a given, obviously...I'm not some kind of neanderthal.
Sorry Anth, I meant to say "Butternut Squash Soup".
DIAF, bud.
DIAF, bud.
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This may be a terrible take, but I strongly prefer restaurant burgers and rarely make them at home. We're dinks, so I don't see the point of grilling just to make two burgers. If I make them at home, I usually go smashed style and keep it simple with the fakest American cheese I can find, lots of shaved pickles and iceburg lettuce, and mayo.
Jacob Grandison sounds like a solid last minute pick-up. He would be a sixth year grad transfer who could play immediately. 6'6 guard who played every year at Illinois and shot >40% from 3P land in his last two years as a Fightin' Illini (easily one of the best college mascots).
We need one more shooter. That guy doesn't have to an All-American -- he just needs to be able to average 5-10 minutes a game and hit open jumpers. Grandison seems to fit that bill.
Jacob Grandison sounds like a solid last minute pick-up. He would be a sixth year grad transfer who could play immediately. 6'6 guard who played every year at Illinois and shot >40% from 3P land in his last two years as a Fightin' Illini (easily one of the best college mascots).
We need one more shooter. That guy doesn't have to an All-American -- he just needs to be able to average 5-10 minutes a game and hit open jumpers. Grandison seems to fit that bill.
Mayo is the only somewhat acceptable condiment unless you have a really ****** burger. I take offense to adding them to my burger and could result in years of mocking.
The amount of things white people put Mayo or ranch on is staggering. It also seems to be a big ingredient in most dips and holiday appetizers. Growing up we didn’t even have Mayo in the house but I’m definitely warming up to it more and my kids are obsessed with Ranch.
That said mushroom Swiss burgers with BBQ sauce have always been my go to since I’m a weirdo
That said mushroom Swiss burgers with BBQ sauce have always been my go to since I’m a weirdo
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What a bizarre take.
Why would a person be that concerned about what someone else put on their burger?
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