Good morning, MaxPowerr, and welcome to ABC Corporation. Thank you for taking time to sit down with us to discuss our recent Monster.com job posting for an assistant general manager of facilities. We offer a competitive starting salary, 3 weeks vacation, a membership to our on-site wellness center, 100% employer paid health insurance, and an extra benefit selection for dental, vision, and life insurance as well.
Now, for the next week, as part of the interview process, you will vacillate up to 9 hours a day with distinct members of our management team, who will alternate between chastising, humiliating, ridiculing, and embarrassing you, then worshiping, praising, and deifying you. The entire, ridiculous, pathetic, self serving process will be broadcast on every major network throughout the world, and on social media as well.
Good luck!