Going to sporting events problem
- Thread starter Wizard.sixpack
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They are all crazy and illogical. It’s just to what degree.
This is the truest statement that has ever been posted on any message board in the entire world.
I've always said all women are crazy but there are levels 1-10...I have had a 10 and its pure HELL!
This is the truest statement that has ever been posted on any message board in the entire world.
I've always said all women are crazy but there are levels 1-10...I have had a 10 and its pure HELL!
If no kids, get your financial affairs in order and head for a divorce lawyer.
If kids, you need to man up lay the law down with her and especially the FIL. Since she has dominated you for the past 10 years, she and FIL likely think you are weak and it falls on her to make the decisions. By stepping up, being a man and showing some balls, they may start respecting you.
I've heard preachers answer the question, "can women lead in a church or a marriage relationship," by responding, if a man doesn't step up to lead, it is the woman's duty to assume that role.
If kids, you need to man up lay the law down with her and especially the FIL. Since she has dominated you for the past 10 years, she and FIL likely think you are weak and it falls on her to make the decisions. By stepping up, being a man and showing some balls, they may start respecting you.
I've heard preachers answer the question, "can women lead in a church or a marriage relationship," by responding, if a man doesn't step up to lead, it is the woman's duty to assume that role.
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Ten years.....hummmm
Just tell her if you aren't going to the game you will stay just at home and have sex all day.
She will buy your tickets......
Just tell her if you aren't going to the game you will stay just at home and have sex all day.
She will buy your tickets......
It's not for you, its for her. You can't take 1 hour per week to go to church with her? I couldn't either and my wife was sour with me. I went and her attitude toward me changed. I don't even have to go every week, as I've only gone once in 2 months, but I go, hold her hand, and pray with her and it last for a couple months, all is good. And talk to her about what his important to her, show some interest.
To quote The Hunt for Red October...It is wise to study the ways of one's adversary.
marriage is about compromises. mine isn't perfect by any means. We have had our arguments over sports, but there was usually always more to it than that. Try to talk to her about what the real issues might be and see if she isn't willing to compromise. If it's really about you not going to church with her anymore, she probably thinks you did change. especially since you went with her for 10 years and just kind of gave her that. See if she will be ok with you going to games if you occasionally come to church with her and the family. If that's something you really don't want to do, then their might be deeper issue of you and faith. If she is pentacostal and always has been, I'm suprised she dated you to start with. Most of those in the pentacostal church don't date outside of their own church denomination. That's one of those denominations that is bit more strict. My wife and I aren't the same denomination, but we share a lot of the same core beliefs. She does her thing, and I'm more a non denominational guy. I make up my own mind based on research and interpretation from several different denominations. But it works for us and having an understanding of each other. My wife also knows I love msu sports a lot, but I also love her more. She doesn't always want to go to games. Some I go to without her. She has never told me I couldn't go unless it was something important we were doing at home or together that she wanted me to for. just like I would never tell her she couldn't do something she wanted to do and was passionate about within reason. Just about being will to talk it out and compromise where you can. If it's something she or you won't compromise on, then it's time to start thinking of other avenues and deciding what's most important to you and to her. Good luck to you and her. hope yall can get down to the main issue and make things work out. If not, good luck and it will get better.
This tells me all I need to know. I had already guessed... It's not likely you'll ever win this "argument".
I have a lifetime of experience with this.
I would like to suggest that divorce is not the best option. It leaves a wake of destruction that you cannot foresee (especially when children are involved). It may eventually seem like the only option, but that is only true if one party has totally checked out. Don't become that party.
You committed yourselves to one another and made vows before God affirming that commitment. You committed to her because there is something there that you loved. If it is difficult to see that any longer, I would encourage you to find it. It will be worth the cost. Do what is best, not necessarily easiest.
And I like the advice of getting counseling and setting boundaries.
I was grieved reading your story, but there is a great reward for perseverance and love. I hope you return to SPS one day and tell us about how by the grace of God your marriage is better than ever, and you have a story to help other people in similar situations.
You committed yourselves to one another and made vows before God affirming that commitment. You committed to her because there is something there that you loved. If it is difficult to see that any longer, I would encourage you to find it. It will be worth the cost. Do what is best, not necessarily easiest.
And I like the advice of getting counseling and setting boundaries.
I was grieved reading your story, but there is a great reward for perseverance and love. I hope you return to SPS one day and tell us about how by the grace of God your marriage is better than ever, and you have a story to help other people in similar situations.
Spoken like a true modern day beta male sap ‘hubby’.
Redpill keeps you from ever being in this situation to begin with.
Go find a counselor for yourself you can feel comfortable with. A good counselor will help you understand yourself which requires a lot of work on your part and can be painful at times as you confront any issues you may have. Once you understand yourself you can apply what you have learned to your relationship and hopefully bring your wife into the process and work it out.
The most important thing to understand is you can't fix "us" till you fix "yourself". (Goes for both of you.)
I would avoid faith based counselors unless they leave religion out of it. (See below) Remember this part is about your learning what makes you tick and not what the Bible says you should do. Once you know why you feel or react the way you do it will enhance your ability to interact with your wife and others.
Understand yourself you will better understand how to apply your religious beliefs to your life. If both you need religious guidance on how to reconcile your religious beliefs then I suggest finding a pastor who is a trained counselor and have them work with y'all on religious component of your relationship.
If your wife refuses to participate give her some time to come around. Your counselor should be able to help you with some advise on how to pull her into the process. If she still refuses then you'll have hard decisions to make about what's your best course of action going forward.
Been there and done it and I'm much better for the experience.
The most important thing to understand is you can't fix "us" till you fix "yourself". (Goes for both of you.)
I would avoid faith based counselors unless they leave religion out of it. (See below) Remember this part is about your learning what makes you tick and not what the Bible says you should do. Once you know why you feel or react the way you do it will enhance your ability to interact with your wife and others.
Understand yourself you will better understand how to apply your religious beliefs to your life. If both you need religious guidance on how to reconcile your religious beliefs then I suggest finding a pastor who is a trained counselor and have them work with y'all on religious component of your relationship.
If your wife refuses to participate give her some time to come around. Your counselor should be able to help you with some advise on how to pull her into the process. If she still refuses then you'll have hard decisions to make about what's your best course of action going forward.
Been there and done it and I'm much better for the experience.
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Nafoom thread is trolling this OP. Look at the post time stamps and content. Nafoom posts are a day later and OP there is copying and pasting Wizard pretty much verbatim.
Sounds like for years into your marriage you gave up sports to a significant degree and attended her Pentecostal church. When did those two things start? Did you cut back on sports before you married, start going to her church before you married? Or after?
Clarifying that is important. If you changed your behavior for her before you married her, that's what she thought she was getting and she's understandably feeling like she was sold a false bill of goods. If you changed your behavior after the wedding to keep the peace, then you have a stronger position to work from, but it's still a big problem.
Either way, you've sold yourself out somewhere along the line and need counseling to figure that out with or without her. Since she's Pentecostal, you're most likely going to counseling alone which can still be very effective for the marriage. Find a counselor who is Christian, but not a fanatic; one who understands that you made vows before God and had children within that marriage and have a commitment to keep them. But who also understands that you're a person in your own right and have to make the marriage work from a point of strength. That takes hard work to figure out why you sold out to begin with. You're not going to uncover all that on a message board. Understand that you're starting counseling right now more for your kids than anything, especially if you have sons. They need a man for a father, not a sell out to a woman or one isn't willing to do hard work in counseling in order to become a man who can make decisions from a point of strength instead of rebellion.
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you seriously want to IP check me? Hell you know me!!!! I just registered over there and PM that stupid idiot and asked him why he felt the need to copy my post and put it over there.
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Its pretty fun to be on a journey thru life with an equal that is your best friend and hot as hell.
No need to run the show when women are quite capable of being man's equal. <--- 17, its nearing 2019 and I had to actually type that.
Ha, this is some funny canned advise(of which the Bible is overflowing). Why doesnt this same thing apply to his wife? She should prioritize others(him) over herself. Boom- there ya go, problem solved.
In realityville, **** isnt as simple as scripture tries to make it. Someone has to be willing to compromise, and typically both have to be willing to compromise for there to be any lasting chance at a healthy relationship.
To suggest he should have to cut back and put her first without any expectation from her to do the same is absurd.
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