Going to sporting events problem
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If Daddy is involved, she's not a Godly woman.
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
-Genesis 2:24
Of course, she's pretty far from a Biblical wife already.
"For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands"
-1 Peter 3:5
"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."
-Ephesians 5:33
But you have responsibilities too.
"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."
-1 Peter 3:7
But there is always this:
"It is better to dwell in the[FONT="] wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."
-Proverbs 21:19
(all in the KJV for the Pentecostals)[/FONT]
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
-Genesis 2:24
Of course, she's pretty far from a Biblical wife already.
"For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands"
-1 Peter 3:5
"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."
-Ephesians 5:33
But you have responsibilities too.
"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."
-1 Peter 3:7
But there is always this:
"It is better to dwell in the[FONT="] wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."
-Proverbs 21:19
(all in the KJV for the Pentecostals)[/FONT]
This seems to me to be the root of it...
.. and a little context that was missing in the OP. I think its really a matter of a) You've stopped going to church, specifically with her b) You're going to sporting events while not going to church. So she's claiming sports are more important to you than her or the church. Thats obviously BS and unreasonable, but then again, you're dealing with someone that goes to a Pentecostal church so I don't think rationality and logic is baked into their DNA. Seems to me if you really wanted to work this out, you'd humor her and go to church with her a little more, and continue to do so until you find a church that you like more. Not going to church at all seems like the worst thing you can do. Unless you want to take the advice I gave in my original response to this thread.
.. and a little context that was missing in the OP. I think its really a matter of a) You've stopped going to church, specifically with her b) You're going to sporting events while not going to church. So she's claiming sports are more important to you than her or the church. Thats obviously BS and unreasonable, but then again, you're dealing with someone that goes to a Pentecostal church so I don't think rationality and logic is baked into their DNA. Seems to me if you really wanted to work this out, you'd humor her and go to church with her a little more, and continue to do so until you find a church that you like more. Not going to church at all seems like the worst thing you can do. Unless you want to take the advice I gave in my original response to this thread.
Dude. Hate it for you. Issues in marriages start out in this very same way quite often. From everything I read in this thread, this is not an issue about sporting events. This sounds like a deeper issue that is just manifesting itself around sporting events. Based on this conversation I included in the quote above, here is how I would try to handle the situation.
1. Speak to your wife. Find out what the issue is. Is it, that she wants to spend that time and money on something else? Is it she sees your focus on sporting events as something that rivals your relationship, and she doesn't like it? Is it the religion bad **** crazy stuff making her feel like that the sporting event shouldn't be the situation you or her should be in? There is an issue deep down pushing her motives here. No idea what it is, but you need to know what it is or else this will continue to degrade your relationship.
2. Speak directly with your father-in-law. Point out that you are working on rectifying the situation through open communication with your wife, and you do not appreciate him undermining your relationship. If my father-in-law ever made a comment about my relationship with his daughter, I would immediately and very publicly jump all over his ***. That type of crap turns a small issue into a large one, little day by day.
If you do not feel like fighting for your overall relationship, well then the easiest thing to do would be to tell you wife that you work hard year around and 13 weekends a year you will be exercising the option to go to or watch football games. That is what makes you happy. Outside of the marriage, that is the one thing that you look forward to in life. If she cannot understand that, then damn her and she needs to get a job and walk. Simple as that.
That is some 1st level disrespect for someone not to recognize when something makes you happy, and giving you the latitude to engage in that activity.
Now all of that starts with communication. I am telling you, something deeper down is the actual culprit. My marriage at least has to allow for both of us to have time to do what we like to do. If not, you just end up sitting at home everyday inventing new ways to dislike the person. Action breaks that ******** up. Maybe she has too much time on her hands and she needs to get out there and get busy. Earning more money. Helping the family reach the family's goals instead of being an anchor.
Sitting here in TN last night talking to my daughters who are coming to the game Saturday. I just happened to check tickets and found two good ones at a good price. Ordered the tickets and text my wife and ask her if she wanted to go to the game Saturday. She said take your brother! Guess who's driving down from TN Saturday?????
If she and her Dad have joined forces to condemn you then that is obviously a bad situation and is a bigger problem than simply going or not going to a football game. Maybe I missed it but what is it they want you do if you don't go to any games...sit home?, wash the car?, paint the house?, get a third job?
Maybe you should offer a compromise, you will forego attending any more sporting events and instead, you will send all the money that it would have cost, tickets, gas, room, food, etc, as a donation to the Bulldog Club. Maybe she simply doesn't like money being spent on something other than her and you will find out pretty quick if that is the case.
Good luck!
Maybe you should offer a compromise, you will forego attending any more sporting events and instead, you will send all the money that it would have cost, tickets, gas, room, food, etc, as a donation to the Bulldog Club. Maybe she simply doesn't like money being spent on something other than her and you will find out pretty quick if that is the case.
Good luck!
Well, for me, the day we got married, we listened to a State Baseball game on the way to our Honeymoon. Pretty sure that set the tone for Me, Her, and MSU Sports for the past 29+ years.***
Now, when I am sitting here reading six pack, she gets fuming mad, especially when she is trying to talk to me, or ask me a question and I am eyeball deep in you guys Hail Stating and crap!
Now, when I am sitting here reading six pack, she gets fuming mad, especially when she is trying to talk to me, or ask me a question and I am eyeball deep in you guys Hail Stating and crap!
Wizard, I don't want to start a religious debate and go into which denominations are better. I'll just say this, and it sounds like you've already realized this. Religion (not Church) is man-made, and every denomination and every local church congregation is going to have flaws. Even Jesus found something to criticize the 7 churches of Asia on when He wrote to them in Revelation (and I believe those were 7 literal local assemblies). Having said that, I want to encourage you to find some local assembly that has a pastor that preaches the Bible (the entire, unadulterated Bible) and that at least strives to be a church founded on Biblical principles (not trying to push a man-made agenda). It's our responsibility as Christians to do our work through a local church. The Church is the Bride of Christ and it's how we glorify Him.
I do agree that husband and wife should be committed to one another above being committed to parents (though we're still to honor our parents). So, this needs to be a decision you two make.
I do agree that the husband is the leader of his home as Ephesians 5:22-24 teaches, but I also believe that we as husbands are to love our wives to the point that we would die for them, as Ephesians 5:25-27 teaches. This should be why our wives submit to us, because they know that we have them in such high regard and we wouldn't be selfish toward them.
Again, my prayers are with you, your wife, and your family. God bless.
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Pentacostals don't exactly believe non-Pentacostals will go to hell....they just believe they'll get the Mansions in Glory while us non-tongue-talkers get stuck in a Heavenly Trailer Park.
Sounds to me
Like she and her father are upset you aren’t going to their church. Pentecostals are pretty strict about that stuff and if you don’t go with the family to their church then you aren’t part of the family. They expect you to conform. I have relatives who have gone through this exact same thing. They don’t believe in divorce but they will vilify you and make your life hell until you conform or walk away.
Like she and her father are upset you aren’t going to their church. Pentecostals are pretty strict about that stuff and if you don’t go with the family to their church then you aren’t part of the family. They expect you to conform. I have relatives who have gone through this exact same thing. They don’t believe in divorce but they will vilify you and make your life hell until you conform or walk away.
This is all kinds of jacked up.
Forget sports. You need to put about a 10 hour drive between your family and her father.
Great minds think alike. Posted the same before I got through this novel of a thread.
I've always found the scripture at Ephesians 5:33 very insightful. By all means, read it yourself, but most won't, so I'll paraphrase.
Disrespect will wreck a marriage.
It says for husbands to love the wife. Wife, have deep respect for your husband. Interesting. Why not say for the husband to likewise love the wife? That's certainly implied, but what's important to the wife?
Her feelings; being cherished.
Men, on the other hand, feelings are a little farther down the list of priorities. We certainly want to be loved and cherished, but if a man feels disrespected, few other things matter. I had this issue with my wife long ago. I made efforts to be more kind. She, on the other hand, had to know that if she felt the need to disrespect me to somehow shame or control me, I'm out; this marriage is done.
Wizzard, both have to do your parts. She needs to understand you don't have to agree on religion or sports. She also has to know you love her. If she disrespects your work, sacrifices, and your place as husband and the head of the household, it's just gonna get worse.
Disrespect will wreck a marriage.
It says for husbands to love the wife. Wife, have deep respect for your husband. Interesting. Why not say for the husband to likewise love the wife? That's certainly implied, but what's important to the wife?
Her feelings; being cherished.
Men, on the other hand, feelings are a little farther down the list of priorities. We certainly want to be loved and cherished, but if a man feels disrespected, few other things matter. I had this issue with my wife long ago. I made efforts to be more kind. She, on the other hand, had to know that if she felt the need to disrespect me to somehow shame or control me, I'm out; this marriage is done.
Wizzard, both have to do your parts. She needs to understand you don't have to agree on religion or sports. She also has to know you love her. If she disrespects your work, sacrifices, and your place as husband and the head of the household, it's just gonna get worse.
You may have said so...
But do y’all have kids?
(If no, don’t get her pregnant while figuring this out!!!)
But do y’all have kids?
(If no, don’t get her pregnant while figuring this out!!!)
The bible tells us to be equally yoked with our spouses. It is mainly talking about with non-believers, but applies to those who attend radically different denominations. It is a super tough problem. Some of my best friends have gone through this same issue and it is painful my friend. I wish I had some good advice, but I really don't.
I'll pray for you just like I do for my friends and hope for the best.
Says the guy whose wife was giving Daddy access to the financial statements. But anything to get your jabs in at perfectly fine people who would help you in a minute if you needed it.
There has GOT to be some subject matter you know something about.
So far we’ve elimated college football and marital relationships. Don’t give up, the world needs ditch diggers too.
Not what I wanted to hear . Ill pray for you but if your not indoctrinated with them it's over. Hope she was hot. #hailstate
The Cheetah Lounge is always a great place for wise marriage counsel.
Bottom line is marriage is tough. Also, a good marriage is the most awesome thing ever!
both set of my grandparents married for 60+ yrs. some advice my grandfather gave me early in life was: “never hit a women, never cheat on a women and never go to bed angry”
have spent many many a night in some stupid argument but having the peace and being able to say I love you and even better being able to hear I love you before my head hits the pillow is the tits.
( this thread is just another example why Sixpack is the greatest )
Bottom line is marriage is tough. Also, a good marriage is the most awesome thing ever!
both set of my grandparents married for 60+ yrs. some advice my grandfather gave me early in life was: “never hit a women, never cheat on a women and never go to bed angry”
have spent many many a night in some stupid argument but having the peace and being able to say I love you and even better being able to hear I love you before my head hits the pillow is the tits.
( this thread is just another example why Sixpack is the greatest )
If my wife tells me sports is too worldly I am going to tell her that clitoris is too worldly. Then I am going to take her *** to Somalia and have it removed. I mean come on, why should you enjoy anything on this Earth?
I don't know **** about all that*
In all seriousness, the whole situation seemed to really clarify in post #61.
What it looks like to me happened is that you changed who you were for her on the front end and became a puppet essentially and have gradually put your foot down over time and familiarity while she showed you who she really was from the very beginning and has always stayed the same. She thinks you have changed, because to her, you have. Acting out about the football is really just about her wanting you to go back to who she thought you were initially when she married you. The guy that does everything she wants when and how she wants. The church thing is also a huge, huge deal. You "breaking up" with her obviously lifelong church, to her, is probably pretty similar to you actually having an affair. That's going to be very tough to overcome.
In all seriousness, the whole situation seemed to really clarify in post #61.
What it looks like to me happened is that you changed who you were for her on the front end and became a puppet essentially and have gradually put your foot down over time and familiarity while she showed you who she really was from the very beginning and has always stayed the same. She thinks you have changed, because to her, you have. Acting out about the football is really just about her wanting you to go back to who she thought you were initially when she married you. The guy that does everything she wants when and how she wants. The church thing is also a huge, huge deal. You "breaking up" with her obviously lifelong church, to her, is probably pretty similar to you actually having an affair. That's going to be very tough to overcome.
As a former sportswriter and lifelong Christian I have been asked about sports being non-Christian. The question gave me a chance to think about the question and this is what I was able to find out...
One of the greatest Catholic gentleman I have ever met was the late Irvin Favre, the coach at Hancock North Central and Brett's father. He once told me that if we didn't have sports we would have more wars. Sports allow men and women the chance to isolate the aggressive nature that we all are born with and channel it into something constructive. For athletes it also allows for development of strong physical habits that translate into healthier lives. Sports also allows a less destructive way to develop teamwork and leadership skills which translates into a better society (rather than destructive habits through being in war).
For the fan there are a lot of the same factors. You develop a "tribe" mentality which can lead to less stress in real life... get your agression out through "playacting" battles on the field rather than fighting to the death. You create a common experience which can also help bring many other benefits to the fan and the community as well.
You also create a large social environment in the stadium of gathering together for a common purpose.
But what Coach Favre told me is most important is that sports allow young people to grow into much better citizens who learn how to compete in a controlled environment that does not lead to uncontrolled life outside the athletic arena. So many instances of society being out of control comes from having no controlled way to deal with adversities. Outside of a few unusual examples those who participate or support athletics can get along a lot easier because of what is learned through sports.
So maybe your wife hasn't gotten a full vision of how sports actually helps society as a whole. Of course most TV games show only the us vs them factors, but looking deeper can make someone see how sports makes life better from what's not easily seen.
What can help are some mutual friends who are also sports fans who can help her understand these other factors. My prayers and blessing are headed your way for finding a mutual solution to this...
One of the greatest Catholic gentleman I have ever met was the late Irvin Favre, the coach at Hancock North Central and Brett's father. He once told me that if we didn't have sports we would have more wars. Sports allow men and women the chance to isolate the aggressive nature that we all are born with and channel it into something constructive. For athletes it also allows for development of strong physical habits that translate into healthier lives. Sports also allows a less destructive way to develop teamwork and leadership skills which translates into a better society (rather than destructive habits through being in war).
For the fan there are a lot of the same factors. You develop a "tribe" mentality which can lead to less stress in real life... get your agression out through "playacting" battles on the field rather than fighting to the death. You create a common experience which can also help bring many other benefits to the fan and the community as well.
You also create a large social environment in the stadium of gathering together for a common purpose.
But what Coach Favre told me is most important is that sports allow young people to grow into much better citizens who learn how to compete in a controlled environment that does not lead to uncontrolled life outside the athletic arena. So many instances of society being out of control comes from having no controlled way to deal with adversities. Outside of a few unusual examples those who participate or support athletics can get along a lot easier because of what is learned through sports.
So maybe your wife hasn't gotten a full vision of how sports actually helps society as a whole. Of course most TV games show only the us vs them factors, but looking deeper can make someone see how sports makes life better from what's not easily seen.
What can help are some mutual friends who are also sports fans who can help her understand these other factors. My prayers and blessing are headed your way for finding a mutual solution to this...
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