Does anyone else have a spouse that hates sports and gives you hell if you attend games by yourself? I have loved sports my whole life and my wife was fully aware of it going in but 10 years later she thinks she is going to change that and gives me a guilt trip every time I go to a MSU sporting event. BTW I have asked her to go and she refuses because she thinks sports is the devil for some reason.
Going to sporting events problem
- Thread starter Wizard.sixpack
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Why would she have a problem with you going to the games without her, as long as you're not taking a date? Seriously, I'd suggest getting some recommendations for a good counselor and going to a few sessions, because this issue isn't going to just go away and it's probably a sign of some deeper issue. I know that First Baptist Jackson has had a great counseling program at reasonable prices years ago, and I'm sure it's still good today. Good luck.
I work 8 to 5, off every weekend and am home every night of the week unless I go to the game. I also work a sideline job that makes it where she don't have to work. One day a week couple times a month to relieve some stress is hardly getting in the way.
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I think you need to up your frame, pal. This should not be an issue, I have no idea how men willingly relinquish their lives to women.
Marriage is a give and take if it's successful. Mine really could care less about the games but she does enjoy the social aspect of seeing friends and tailgating. Moving to club level a few years ago did wonders for her enjoyment of game day. I go places with her that I really don't want to go and she appreciates that I do. By this time in the season there is usually a little grumbling but the promise of a beach trip, a shopping trip, a long weekend trip with massages, or a long weekend out of town usually soothes things over til the season ends. Sounds like she is taking but unwilling to give or you may not be giving to her , I don't know. A simple conversation starting with " I would like to go to the game and would like for you to go with me. I realize that it is not your thing but I would be willing to go with or take you______________. How does that sound to you." If she is receptive to that then you have a starting point, if she refuses that then I got nothing that will help you.
Have you tried explaining this to her logically?
Honey, I’ve been doing this since before we met, while we dated, while we were engaged and since we’ve been married.
You knew this abt me and know it’s my passion.
I’d love for you to come with me, but I’m not going to give up my passion.
Honey, I’ve been doing this since before we met, while we dated, while we were engaged and since we’ve been married.
You knew this abt me and know it’s my passion.
I’d love for you to come with me, but I’m not going to give up my passion.
thanks. I have tried a similar approach but she still don't get it. I guess the reason I am putting this on here is to see if I am missing something and I am being unreasonable. I don't see any harm in going to ballgame.
Yes I have done this MANY MANY TIMES. Hell I was a Sports Communication major and a sports marketing intern when we met!!!!
Too much of an ultimatum. First you have to get her there first and find some aspect of the day that she enjoys and build from that. She has to want to go even if it's just to get something else in return.
That and religion but as you can see from the original post that bleeds into this issue as well.
I guess I'm really blessed in this department. I've gone to races many times and have a 67 camaro that I've taken to the dragstrip way before we met and she knows how I am about racing. She has gone with me to many nascar races and enjoyed them but she doesn't give a crap about dirt racing or drag racing so I would usually go by myself until my teenage daughter started liking races too so she goes with me. My wife will ask how much money to hold out for me from my check so we can go racing. All she will say is ya'll be careful.
I feel ya. Same boat. I ignore it and do what I want. She's never gotten tired of bitching about it though.
Mine knew it upfront and it hasn't been a problem. She has a little refrigerator magnet sign that says "We interrupt this marriage for football season" I started taking the kids w/ me when they were 2 to all sports activities so they could hang out w/ grandparents . She stayed home for years and did her own thing while I took the kids. Once they started school @ MSU she started going too so she could see the kids because by that time they were diehard fans too from years of brainwashing by me and weren't going home on game weekends no matter the sport. She still doesn't go to games but hangs out at the tents or the kids apartment while we do the game thing. Works for me/us.....
Sounds like you should never let her find out you post on SPS.
I'd say she's being unreasonable unless you're trying to attend every home game in all 3 big sports all year long. If you're talking football, baseball, and basketball home weekends... I could see where she'd start to have an issue with that.
Guess I'm lucky... my wife doesn't like sports and usually won't watch any games on TV, but she does enjoy going to MSU games in any sport.
I'd say she's being unreasonable unless you're trying to attend every home game in all 3 big sports all year long. If you're talking football, baseball, and basketball home weekends... I could see where she'd start to have an issue with that.
Guess I'm lucky... my wife doesn't like sports and usually won't watch any games on TV, but she does enjoy going to MSU games in any sport.
i would suggest taking up a new hobby. like hardcore porn. dive in head first and watch it at dinner, church, in the shower, in bed, everywhere! when she makes a deal about it, bc you know she will, simply say, you asked me to give up the one thing that i got enjoyment from. i did that and found a new passion. sorry you dont "get it" but you had it made when all i did was work 2 jobs and go to a simple football game so your sorry *** could sit at home. hope you enjoy what you've made me. now go get me a beer, some lotion, and a clean up rag. i would say slap her on the *** as she walks away, but that might be overkill.
My wife was the same way and I played college ball. The tricks I found was a few years ago we upgraded to the scoreboard club, and she loves that stuff like the food and the being able to go inside due to weather. We also started a tailgate with friends, and she now loves coming and seeing her girlfriends. She could give a **** less about the game. Most times she has to ask me after if we won or not.
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Just kidding (couldn't help it)...but all kidding aside, no one on here is going to be able to justify this one way or the other. Only you know if you're truly being selfish, and only your wife knows if she's truly being selfish. Either one of you could convince anyone to support you one way or the other. You're going have to be honest, 1st with yourselves (you with yourself, her with herself), then with each other.
This won't be the popular answer, but your real guide in this is the Bible, which teaches your priorities are 1.) God, 2.) Family, 3.) Church, 4.) Others, 5.) Yourself. I'm not saying that you automatically have to give up going to games, but you may have to cut back at least some if it's truly conflicting with those priorities (be prepared for this possibility). Speaking for myself, I had to cut back majorly about 4 years ago. I came to know Christ about 6 years ago; our family began growing with children about 4 years ago; and I went from going to all home games (most with my wife, but some alone, which did cause some stress) to only going to anywhere from 1-3 games a year. This year I haven't been to any because of commitments to my family and to Church. For instance, late games are almost a no-go for me because I get back home so late that Sunday is harder than it should be. I still love State, and I still try to go to any event that I can, but it's not my priority anymore. I'm not saying this is the answer for you; maybe you don't have the same constraints I do. Only you can answer this based on where your life is.
At any rate, I hope this works out for you and your wife, and for what it's worth to you, I'll be praying for you and your family...In the words of Vic Schaefer, Praise the Lord and Go Dawgs!
Just kidding (couldn't help it)...but all kidding aside, no one on here is going to be able to justify this one way or the other. Only you know if you're truly being selfish, and only your wife knows if she's truly being selfish. Either one of you could convince anyone to support you one way or the other. You're going have to be honest, 1st with yourselves (you with yourself, her with herself), then with each other.
This won't be the popular answer, but your real guide in this is the Bible, which teaches your priorities are 1.) God, 2.) Family, 3.) Church, 4.) Others, 5.) Yourself. I'm not saying that you automatically have to give up going to games, but you may have to cut back at least some if it's truly conflicting with those priorities (be prepared for this possibility). Speaking for myself, I had to cut back majorly about 4 years ago. I came to know Christ about 6 years ago; our family began growing with children about 4 years ago; and I went from going to all home games (most with my wife, but some alone, which did cause some stress) to only going to anywhere from 1-3 games a year. This year I haven't been to any because of commitments to my family and to Church. For instance, late games are almost a no-go for me because I get back home so late that Sunday is harder than it should be. I still love State, and I still try to go to any event that I can, but it's not my priority anymore. I'm not saying this is the answer for you; maybe you don't have the same constraints I do. Only you can answer this based on where your life is.
At any rate, I hope this works out for you and your wife, and for what it's worth to you, I'll be praying for you and your family...In the words of Vic Schaefer, Praise the Lord and Go Dawgs!
Some of the same issues, although your case is particularly difficult because it sounds like it is more than just a case of "you're gone for a whole day doing something I don't enjoy and I'm stuck with the kids/house work/etc." That's a legit issue and I was able to negotiate it by finding ways to contribute at other times so the scales are balanced pretty much. From what you're saying she has a moral/ethical rejection of the importance of your sports team in your life. You might try and set up some kind of regularly scheduled "wife appreciation time" and see if that diminishes her resentment. Tough situation.
The OP was bad enough, but this right here makes me ragey. If I'm working an extra job where the missus doesn't have to work, I'll not hear one damn word about anything I want to do short of having an affair. Not. One.
Good luck my man.
Sounds like you might have married the wrong girl. Did you go to games when you were dating? Has your love for sports always been the same?
Have either of you changed much over the years?
Marriage is about give and take, that goes for both partners. Do you do things with her that she likes to do? Does she have things that she enjoys to spend her time on? Does she go on girls trips without you, she should have some time with her friends and without you.
My wife does like to go to Bronco and Rockies games with me and we go rafting, camping and skiing together as a family.
I am able to go on hunting, tennis, and skiing guys trips every year with no complaints.
I guess I am just blessed, thankfully..
Sounds like she’s turned into a religious nut. Is she sending money to Creflo Dollar to help him buy his second Lear jet? Might want to check the bank account.
What does "of the world" even mean? By that argument, the only place you should go is church because everything else, including the two jobs you work, is "of the world." And, hell, I've seen plenty of churches that are a little too worldly.
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