Engagaement Rings....advice needed
- Thread starter forestdepth
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If you woman wants a platinum band, count on spending way more on that than you think on that. Best advice I can give you is to get diamonds in your hands and look them over. I overpaid for a Tiffany diamond, but it was the best rock that I could find in my price range. I could tell that it was more brilliant than all the diamonds I had looked at. I had to settle for something a couple tenths smaller to get the brilliance and clarity I wanted.
Some good advice and some not so good advice on here...
First thing, buy yourself a Jeweler's Loupe. They're $10 and worth every penny. You'll use it a bunch while looking at stones and you'll want to look at your purchase many times over the years. Really nice to have. Probably a little more impressive to the jeweler when you whip out your own glass, too.
Recommendations: Mednikow in Atlanta. Bought several items from them. Top notch for a good price.
Type/Price: Compromise on Color. It's the easiest one to really cut $$'s without it looking terrible. A yellow stone in a setting looks really good, even if it may look like muddy water on the little white card. Clarity and Carat are my top two priorities. Size matters most to her/everybody and you really don't want a solid chunk of carbon sitting in the middle of that rock.
For the naysayers: ignore them. Be the best judge of character you can, listen to your family (they love you and want the best for you) and decide. It helps a bunch if she/you are both God-fearing, as you'll both be a little more committed than the average for the rough times. And there will be rough times...
I looked online for rocks, but just really prefer to look at them myself.
First thing, buy yourself a Jeweler's Loupe. They're $10 and worth every penny. You'll use it a bunch while looking at stones and you'll want to look at your purchase many times over the years. Really nice to have. Probably a little more impressive to the jeweler when you whip out your own glass, too.
Recommendations: Mednikow in Atlanta. Bought several items from them. Top notch for a good price.
Type/Price: Compromise on Color. It's the easiest one to really cut $$'s without it looking terrible. A yellow stone in a setting looks really good, even if it may look like muddy water on the little white card. Clarity and Carat are my top two priorities. Size matters most to her/everybody and you really don't want a solid chunk of carbon sitting in the middle of that rock.
For the naysayers: ignore them. Be the best judge of character you can, listen to your family (they love you and want the best for you) and decide. It helps a bunch if she/you are both God-fearing, as you'll both be a little more committed than the average for the rough times. And there will be rough times...
I looked online for rocks, but just really prefer to look at them myself.
Tiffany rings are the 9" dong of engagement rings. When she whips it out, only a bigger Tiffany ring can best it. Well done.
General question: Why is this generation putting so much money into engagement rings? Genuinely curious.
And get off my lawn!
I wouldn't go that far. IMO, they do look "better" but subjectivity plays a part of that. 9 out of 10 women probably can't tell the difference. And quite frankly, the only time you can tell the difference is when they are out of their setting and perfectly clean. Also Tiffany's rating system is their own and makes it a little harder to judge stones "head to head".
Do people really think this way? Literally A) Judge people based on the size of the ring and B) The person being "judged" care what they think? It's a sad world if so...
Or, you could just be financially intelligent on all those items. 2-3 months salary is idiotic. 1 month or $3,000 max, which is lower.
Income shaming - check
Care what other people think - check
***** on pedestal - check
You check all the boxes of a broke middle class American, congrats brotha
Probably because they've been taught that by their dumb broke status absorbed parents
I second that. My wife and I went ring shopping and she decided on a completely different cut that what she originally wanted.
Damn, you are an advertisers dream. Thank god for you that Debeers didn't decide it was 2 or 3 years salary.
If you are getting married young, say under 25, chances are that your fiancee is probably sucked up into the whole engagement ring thing and is probably somewhat to very concerned about having a ring as nice as her friends. And that's probably fine at that age. If your fiancee is closer to 30 and you think she is still worried about it, that's probably a bigger concern.
Are you really gonna say that is the reason they are getting divorced? So spending money on her is what makes her happy? If that is the case with you, I don't envy you at all.
Your question is based on a false premise. Millennials aren't spending more on diamond rings than the previous generations. The exact opposite is true.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrew...millennials-are-killing-and-why/#5e4428d044e4
I've known two people who have essentially had to take engagement rings back. One because the future MIL objected and the other one depending on who tells it, either the future MIL or the guy's mom basically said it wasn't good enough. At least one of them was a ring around $5k, which honestly seemed high considering the guys income at the time.
Right. Try telling some girl who matriculated at Prep or JA you aren't buying her a big ring. Then duck.**
I know whence I speak.
I know whence I speak.
I am just making a hypothetical anecdote about selfishness... I think selfishness is a major cause of divorce. It works in both directions, but you must know the guy that has all the toys, but never takes the wife on nice vacations, buys nice jewelry etc.
There's a million better ways to treat your wife than just buying her diamonds.
Remember that time Kobe bought his wife a 4 million dollar ring after being caught cheating? Yeah, you can buy your wife diamond and still be a selfish sleeze.
Remember that time Kobe bought his wife a 4 million dollar ring after being caught cheating? Yeah, you can buy your wife diamond and still be a selfish sleeze.
I dont think that 6k is a lot. A nice ring is extremely important to her. While I don't understand it, I've come to accept it after the discussions.
And yes, her family/friends will judge her on it. I would rather pay 3k, but if I wanted something nicer than average, she would do the same for me.
What's sad is it is seems like it's mostly the middle and lower middle class people that get suckered into the 2-3 months salary.
3 months salary of $40k is $10k if you do it on a gross basis. That's an insane amount to have in a piece of jewelry if you make that much.
1. 2-3 months salary stings. But it's easy to get over. Don't waste money on video games, guns, monster truck rims, or whatever other vices you have.
2. Income is irrelevant. Whether you spend $750-$7500, it is just a matter of putting in the effort to save for something nice for the person you love.
3. By it's very nature the engagement ring is a vanity purchase. If you buy anything more than a $50.00 cz you care what other people think. Might as well own it.
4. You are damn right. My wife and kids are the greatest thing I have ever had in my life. What's cool is 10 years later, she brings home the equivalent of that engagement ring every month. I don't put the ***** on a pedestal, it's an Ivory tower.
5. The fact that I was not broke and had actually saved money prior to getting engaged is why it was no big deal to spend 2-3 months salary on an engagement ring. Again it's about effort, not income.
You're talking about selfishness......from the person EXPECTED TO BUY A DIAMOND RING
Go for it bro, stimulate dat economy, she EXPECTS it, after all....it's so important to her lololol
You are wise. Spending $3k extra now is a wonderful investment. The two of you will likely earn millions of dollars in income over the next 30 years. It will be such a small drop in the bucket over the long run, just get her what's going to really make her happy.
10 years down the road, she will hardly remember the wedding, proposal, or honeymoon. But that ring will still be there everyday smiling at her.
I think ring I bought had a 0.9 carat center diamond. I was told by the jeweler that price goes up significantly once you get above 1 carat.
I would also suggest consulting with her best friend or a family member about her taste. I walked in knowing exactly what style ring my now-wife would like, and when I told the jeweler that she brought me about 50 different rings in that style.
You just have to know what a reasonable budget is for you. The 3 months salary thing is a decent barometer but it’s not a perfect way to measure things. I proposed during my last year of college, so obviously I hadn’t had a chance to save up all that much but yet I was able to find a pretty affordable ring that she ended up really loving.
Don’t break the bank over it, but be prepared to spend a pretty big chunk of change. It’s a piece of jewelry she will wear on her hand every day for the next 50-60 years, so I would suggest doing the best you reasonably can.
At the end of the day, if you’re at this point in your relationship then she’s going to say yes regardless of what you get, so don’t stress about it too much and just go with something you can afford that you feel confident she will really like.
I would also suggest consulting with her best friend or a family member about her taste. I walked in knowing exactly what style ring my now-wife would like, and when I told the jeweler that she brought me about 50 different rings in that style.
You just have to know what a reasonable budget is for you. The 3 months salary thing is a decent barometer but it’s not a perfect way to measure things. I proposed during my last year of college, so obviously I hadn’t had a chance to save up all that much but yet I was able to find a pretty affordable ring that she ended up really loving.
Don’t break the bank over it, but be prepared to spend a pretty big chunk of change. It’s a piece of jewelry she will wear on her hand every day for the next 50-60 years, so I would suggest doing the best you reasonably can.
At the end of the day, if you’re at this point in your relationship then she’s going to say yes regardless of what you get, so don’t stress about it too much and just go with something you can afford that you feel confident she will really like.
Wow, after the morning I've had this thread is a welcome diversion. First, I considered myself experienced as I've done this twice. Second, there were many years between door number 1 and door number 2.
Wife 1 was shortly after finishing at State. Wife 2 was many years later, fortunately I had financially recovered from number 1. (Actually she paid me, but that's another story).
I dropped a lot on number 2 because I could. Don't kid yourself, women talk and wife 2 loves having compliments. Don't lecture me on shallow women and crap, it is what it is. I like my truck, I admire other people's O/U. Drop as much as you can afford and move ahead.
You can't predict what 5, 10 years down the road will look like.
Wife 1 was shortly after finishing at State. Wife 2 was many years later, fortunately I had financially recovered from number 1. (Actually she paid me, but that's another story).
I dropped a lot on number 2 because I could. Don't kid yourself, women talk and wife 2 loves having compliments. Don't lecture me on shallow women and crap, it is what it is. I like my truck, I admire other people's O/U. Drop as much as you can afford and move ahead.
You can't predict what 5, 10 years down the road will look like.
No. That article indicated that fewer are buying diamonds. My statement is about those who DO buy them. May be a huge dichotomy here, they aren't buying them except when they do actually buy them they go crazy doing it!
I just got engaged last year. I bought my ring from a nice place in New Orleans call Acoin Hart and they make their own custom rings which is nice. I got a deal by letting them know I was contemplating buying a diamond off of blue nile. I ended up sitting down with them and going through diamonds on blue nile that I was interested in and they showed me why certain diamonds were less than others. I ultimately got a ring and diamond at the store for the same price I could get on blue nile. The key is to familiarize yourself with diamonds and become somewhat knowledgeable before you go in to the stores.
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