OT: One Line Jokes
- Thread starter zappaa
- Start date
Its not one line but:
RANDOM BASEBALL THOUGHT OF THE NIGHT: Maybe its a good that Tommy John's name not Dick Dingle. "Oh wow... Jimmy Lipper torn his arm up during last night's game. Hes going to the hospital tomorrw to get Dick Dingle surgery.
RANDOM BASEBALL THOUGHT OF THE NIGHT: Maybe its a good that Tommy John's name not Dick Dingle. "Oh wow... Jimmy Lipper torn his arm up during last night's game. Hes going to the hospital tomorrw to get Dick Dingle surgery.
Did you hear the Central European Trampoline team has gone bankrupt? They've been bouncing Czechs.
Little Johnny for Halloween:
Little Johnny is dressed as a pirate for Halloween.
He knocks on the door of a house and a lady answers.
She says "Well, well little boy, what are you supposed to be?"
Little Johnny says "I am a pirate."
She says "Well where are your buccaneers?"
"Right here under my bucken hat," replies Little Johnny
Little Johnny is dressed as a pirate for Halloween.
He knocks on the door of a house and a lady answers.
She says "Well, well little boy, what are you supposed to be?"
Little Johnny says "I am a pirate."
She says "Well where are your buccaneers?"
"Right here under my bucken hat," replies Little Johnny
Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning one of his cars for an upcoming show.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks.“Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it’s time you quit spending all your time out here in the garage and you should consider selling your cars and your gun collection."
Tom gets a horrified look on his face. She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
TOM: “There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”
WIFE: “Ex wife!”, she screams, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!!!!!!! "
TOM: “I wasn’t”.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks.“Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it’s time you quit spending all your time out here in the garage and you should consider selling your cars and your gun collection."
Tom gets a horrified look on his face. She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
TOM: “There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”
WIFE: “Ex wife!”, she screams, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!!!!!!! "
TOM: “I wasn’t”.
A Native American tracker stops and puts his ear to a rock “ah, Buffalo come,” he says.
“Wow, you can feel the vibrations in the ground” says the guy he’s with.
“No”, says the tracker “ear stuck to rock”
“Wow, you can feel the vibrations in the ground” says the guy he’s with.
“No”, says the tracker “ear stuck to rock”
Confucious also say.... Man who ********** learn it really come in handy...
Confucious also say ...Woman who drives upside down has crack up.
Your Mamma's so fat when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating virus the doctor gave her 62 years to live.
What did the AD say when his football coach lost 11 games in a row?
"This is an exciting time to be a Rutgers football fan."
"This is an exciting time to be a Rutgers football fan."
Blond, brunette and red head are lost in the desert. Fortunately they find a magic lamp rub it and a genie appears. He offers them each one wish.
Red head says I wish I were home - poof she’s gone. Brunette says I wish I were home. Poof she’s gone. Blond says I wish my friends were here with me.
Red head says I wish I were home - poof she’s gone. Brunette says I wish I were home. Poof she’s gone. Blond says I wish my friends were here with me.
Dirty Johnny is in English class.
Teacher says class use the word definitely in a sentence.
Mary raises her hand and says the sky is definitely blue.
Teacher says that’s good but sometimes it’s overcast and gray.
Timmy raises his hand and says the grass is definitely green.
The teacher says that’s good but sometimes the grass is dry and is brown.
Dirty Johnny raises his hand and says teacher I got a question.
Teacher says ok.
Johnny asks - Teacher when you fart does it come out lumpy?
Teacher says oh my no.
Johnny says well then I definitely **** in my pants.
Teacher says class use the word definitely in a sentence.
Mary raises her hand and says the sky is definitely blue.
Teacher says that’s good but sometimes it’s overcast and gray.
Timmy raises his hand and says the grass is definitely green.
The teacher says that’s good but sometimes the grass is dry and is brown.
Dirty Johnny raises his hand and says teacher I got a question.
Teacher says ok.
Johnny asks - Teacher when you fart does it come out lumpy?
Teacher says oh my no.
Johnny says well then I definitely **** in my pants.
I worked in a bakery in Chicago. A lady came in and asked for a cake. I said what kind? She said layer. Layer I did, I don’t work there anymore.
This is, in my mind, the epitome of a one line joke. Well done.
Now Dirty Johnny is a joke. Jokes are to make you laugh. I laughed. ERGO: It's a joke.ATTN: I laughed AGAIN on 06/11/2020
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You know the Easter Bunny works as an anesthesiologist in the off season. His coworkers call him the ether bunny
Did you hear about that actress that got stabbed? Reese something...?
Witherspoon?!
No, with a knife
Witherspoon?!
No, with a knife
Husband to wife: "Today someone told me that it's impossible to feel happy and sad at the same time......"
Wife to husband: "Out of all of your brothers, you have the biggest d!ck"
Wife to husband: "Out of all of your brothers, you have the biggest d!ck"
No but he should get a stiff fine, if it was all a mistake he would still be a stand up guy.