OT: One Line Jokes
- Thread starter zappaa
- Start date
I now live in Seattle, teach at UW (Huskies). Favorite joke about their hated in-state rival, WSU (Cougars).
How do you get a cougar off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza!
How do you get a cougar off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza!
"Dad, can I have ten dollars to get a guinea pig?"
"Here's twenty dollars son. Get yourself a nice Irish girl instead"
"Here's twenty dollars son. Get yourself a nice Irish girl instead"
I had a dream last night that I was Chinese. When I woke up I was totally disoriented.
A seal walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what can I get you?" The seal replies, "anything but a Canadian Club."
Two cannibals were sitting around a campfire eating a clown. The one cannibal says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
No, first line was she meet him at a bar.Originally posted by WhiteBus:
SayHey,
That's a long why to go for that joke(and didn't she meet him working at the county fair or boardwalk??)
anyway, I'll get the thread back on topic (and yes, I got a million of em!)
I gave up bowling for sex, the balls are lighter and you don't have to change your shoes.
Why did the blond woman go to the post office 50 times a day? Because her computer kept saying You've got mail.
Not really a joke but my father used to say this all the time:
'Lets see', said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw
'Lets see', said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw
I am usually somber faced until I have eaten Breakfast but I have to admit being completely amused this morning. Thanks for starting this thread.
Just to keep this going,I looked this one up on line. "Before I criticize a man I have to walk a mile in his shoes.That way I am a mile away when I do criticize him and I have his shoes."
OK, not a one-liner, but funny nevertheless:
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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman wave at
him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he
knows her from.
So he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he as ever been unfaithful to his
wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I
laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner
whipped my butt with wet celery???"
She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."
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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman wave at
him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he
knows her from.
So he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he as ever been unfaithful to his
wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I
laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner
whipped my butt with wet celery???"
She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."
What's the difference between a dead girl scout and a bowling ball?
You can,t pick up a bowling ball with a pitch fork.
You can,t pick up a bowling ball with a pitch fork.
