I know at least 3 men who were married to women and had kids, then sometime in their 40s (all 3 in their 40s) decided/realized they were gay. I'm Gen X and I think we are the last generation where there has been widespread suppression of gay tendencies in favor of the appearance and trappings of heterosexuality. Of those 3 dudes, there were rumors and suspicions one of them was gay as far back as high school, and another since I knew him in our 20s-30s. I think Millennials have grown up with more widespread acceptance of LGBTQIAMQE+ and therefore been more comfortable coming out at earlier ages.
I do not think anyone does it to be cool. I think they feel more accepted pursuing a natural tendency, or even a temporary curiosity.
I get where you're coming from about the social incentive, but I think that as a conservative, you're somewhat of an outsider with that culture, and you're likely viewing it through an outsider's lens that really doesn't align with what's really going on. I get accused of having white guilt periodically, and I just don't see it or feel it. It doesn't harm me to recognize white supremacy and it doesn't make me ashamed of who I am. I think that's also an outsider's take on it.