Kennedy just ended Newsom’s 2028 ambitions in under a minute.
It happened quietly on the Senate floor at 10:52 a.m. No shouting. No theatrics. Senator John Kennedy simply leaned into the microphone like a Southern pastor about to deliver bad news.
“Governor Slick says he’s running in 2028,” he said, holding up a shiny Newsom campaign mailer. “So let’s talk about his record.”
• 47th in education → But he wants to rewrite the national curriculum
• $7 gas → Hope you enjoy choosing between groceries and driving to work
• 180,000 homeless → Imagine the White House lawn as Skid Row East
• High-speed rail: $128 billion, zero miles of track → A train powered entirely by press releases
Then he flipped to the next page: Newsom smiling in a $3,800 suit while San Francisco burns behind him.
“California is the wealthiest state in America,” Kennedy said. “And he still can’t keep the lights on. Leadership is more than a photo shoot.”
The chamber went silent. Even Schumer paused mid-fake cough.
By 11:03 a.m., #KennedyEndedNewsom was the top trend globally.
Newsom’s team fired back with a rushed 47-second response video—vertical format, shaky lighting, frantic tone.
Kennedy replied through his staff in eight words:
“I don’t debate beauty pageant runners-up.”
Polling shifted overnight.
2028 may have just had its burial service—and Kennedy dug the hole himself.
- Terrence K Williams