My mom has Alzheimer's and can't see. My dad has fallen four times in the past year, the last of which resulted in him being found bleeding from the head on the garage floor. While he can still care for her, and is now doing reasonably okay himself, I have spent the past three months praying every day that they both make it through this initial phase of lockdown so that in the event that something happens to one of them(especially if it's my dad), I can safely and comfortably move the other(my mom) into some kind of assisted living, because I don't feel that I have the ability or the expertise to care for her the way she needs to be (and deserves to be).
That's not me locking her up in some deathtrap, that's me trying to do what is best for her. And while I know that many in nursing homes do not receive the attention from family and friends that they should, I don't know a single friend who has had to make that decision and then turned their back and walked away. They visit or call weekly, if not daily. And if I sadly have to move her into such a facility, I will do the same.
I've been paying attention to this carefully ever since my brother died a few years ago, because I know that the decision will lie squarely on my shoulders. So I know exactly which facilities offer the kind of care and staffing that I want and expect. It's sad to say, but I do have a "plan" in the event that something happens.
So I guess what I'm saying to Brandon, Hank, etc., is this...kindly get pumped.