Why I hate Bama

[preacher_dawg]

Sitting in a Columbus restaurant last night with my family, and we couldn't help but overhear the talk next to us. This one guy did all the talking, and it was all about Bama football. It seemed very obvious that Bama football was all his life. He apparently had not only seen every bama game, but he had them all recorded. He did not have anyone besides him while sitting with another couple, and throughout the conversation, they were nodding to sleep as he talked about this game and that game. I would imagine it's been a while since this guy had a date. As he got up, you could see that he was covered from head to toe in bama. His bama jacket had bama patches, and his bama patches had bama patches. His pants were bama, his shoes were bama. As he walked away, I felt very sad for him. It seemed pretty apparent bama was his entire life, and I couldn't help but think, what a waste. It made part of me want to cheer for Ohio State, but then I returned to sanity. Still, nothing that has much control over people can be good. Sorry for the book, had to vent.

 

[Shmuley]

Apparently he had your full attention.

 

[Hump4Hoops]

Should have asked him what year he graduated from Alabama

That's always the best part of a wild gump encounter.

 

[archdog]

I always start talking to a random fan about what great times I have always had in Tuscaloosa. I bring up the different areas around Tuscaloosa, and then i start talking about my favorite places to go during the middle of the week. If they contribute to that discussion I then ask them how different it is now since they graduated. I usually get blank stares.

 

[Palos verdes]

That is sad and a very common theme with many of them. Outside of talking Bama football, they're at a big disadvantage in the world.

 

[anon1781797764]

During a Christmas meal at work, I was late getting there and filled my plate to find all the seats taken. I decided to sit next to the Bama fan I kinda knew, who takes the trash out, and be social with him and his fatass, mouth-breathing Bama friends. I said "Hey Frankie, you gonna let me sit here with my State shirt on?" Blank stares from all. Unphased, or ignoring the obvious gravity of my faux pas, I sat down and tried to talk hunting, weather, or football for 20 mins with 3 of the dumbest waterheads that ever graced The Bahr's (peace be upon Him) fanbase, unsuccessfully. Wouldn't even talk to me over my school affiliation. I scarfed the food down and left, chastising myself to my cube for wasting my time trying to socialize with these Gumps. It's all they have and that's why its such a catastrophic event when Bama loses because the football success is tied to their self-worth. Its sad but after you witness a Bama fan pick a fight with a guy at Outback just because he has a Utah Utes hoodie on, you tend to dig the pain a rare loss brings 'em. Or maybe I'm an *******. I dunno.

 

[Palos verdes]

Once Saban is gone I imagine that some of their middle age fans will have to seek treatment for generalized anxiety, manic depression, or the beginning of long bouts with substance abuse and the dreaded eventual results of that. I feel for their families.

 

[SwampDawg]

Not too long ago some of my wife's hardly-ever-seen relatives from Alabama dropped in for a visit. The two men in the group were nice enough, but both wore the obligatory shirts with the Bama A on the front. Later in the conversation one mentioned that he had graduated from Troy State. Jump on the wagon ...

 

[Rockydawg]

That is sad and a very common theme with many of them. Outside of talking Bama football, they're at a big disadvantage in the world.

So... They're just at a big disadvantage to the world.

 

[Wooly17er]

Maybe their favorite Chipmunk is Alvin. He's big around small college campuses - like Troy State.

 

[jakldawg]

You could have switched up "Ohio State" for "Bama" in your story and it would have still been true (you could even leave the Columbus part in). These are two of the biggest "went to X but 'lifelong, die-hard' fan of Y" teams in the country. The colors, the reverence for a former coach, the smug football entitlement. It's all there. The only way to tell them apart on Bourbon Street will be the accents.