I recommend giving her a roofie at the hotel, punching yourself in the eye, and pouring an even blend of Dale's, beer, and Tabasco on both of your clothes. Tuck her in and pickup a 12ski and watch the game in the hotel. The next morning tell her she got hammered on flatliner shots at a tailgate and screamed so much during the *** thrashing the dogs put on em, by the second quarter a mob swarmed . You defended her honor against a dozen corndogs, but got a shiner. Pack up and never tell her the truth.
The corndogs are going to be out of control when we destroy them this year, only young able bodied men should be there, because you will have to fight your way out. It's an October 20th game, unlike 2014 it won't be shocking, it will be the end of their season.