SIAP - Who's in the wrong here?

Who's in the wrong?

  • Dad

    Votes: 9 69.2%
  • Daughter

    Votes: 1 7.7%
  • Filmer (her brother?)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Multiple (please explain)

    Votes: 3 23.1%
  • Other (please explain)

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    13

GesterHawk

Heisman
Jan 3, 2023
20,661
40,112
113
Should not have pinned her to the ground but looking in her phone is for her protection.
Part of the agreement of my 12 year old getting a phone was that I would know the passcode and the phone would be handed over immediately upon request.

If this is not followed, I have the power to brick his phone with 3 button clicks. Maybe 4.
 

NDallasRuss

Heisman
Jun 2, 2025
2,435
10,258
113
That's a dad with really bad parenting skills. He couldn't think of any better way to get what he wanted than to get physical with her and be intimidating at her.

When the daughter was younger we made it a non-negotiable condition for her getting a phone that we knew the password and had the right to get her phone and look at whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. If she didn't agree to it, then she didn't have to have a phone.

Once she hit 18 we no longer went into her phone and looked around, but before that, we did, and she knew that we'd do it. So it was never a surprise or argument. She was surprised, however, at how good we were at finding anything she was ever trying to conceal.

If this guy is paying for her phone, and she's under 18yo, then you take the phone and not give it back until/unless she's willing to share the password so you can get into it. No additional argument needed.

If she's over 18yo, and/or paying for her own phone with her own money, then he should respect her privacy.

Either way, he's a neanderthal who's ill-equipped to deal with actual complex problems beyond grunting, pounding his chest, and bullying.
 

GesterHawk

Heisman
Jan 3, 2023
20,661
40,112
113
That’s not ok and likely damaged their relationship beyond repair, if it hadn’t been already. Just take the phone.
That is some weird mental deficiency that dude has. Absolutely no reason to treat her like that.

You have all the power over the phone, you don't need to physically dominate your child.

Yeah, that is some abuse that will lead to some serious daddy issues later in life.
 

RockyMtNole

Heisman
Jul 1, 2025
5,199
21,630
113
That's a dad with really bad parenting skills. He couldn't think of any better way to get what he wanted than to get physical with her and be intimidating at her.

When the daughter was younger we made it a non-negotiable condition for her getting a phone that we knew the password and had the right to get her phone and look at whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. If she didn't agree to it, then she didn't have to have a phone.

Once she hit 18 we no longer went into her phone and looked around, but before that, we did, and she knew that we'd do it. So it was never a surprise or argument. She was surprised, however, at how good we were at finding anything she was ever trying to conceal.

If this guy is paying for her phone, and she's under 18yo, then you take the phone and not give it back until/unless she's willing to share the password so you can get into it. No additional argument needed.

If she's over 18yo, and/or paying for her own phone with her own money, then he should respect her privacy.

Either way, he's a neanderthal who's ill-equipped to deal with actual complex problems beyond grunting, pounding his chest, and bullying.
Yep
And she’s going to be completely messed up and end up with some bad guy who treats her the same.
 

AFM22

Heisman
Oct 31, 2022
20,011
38,389
113
That's a dad with really bad parenting skills. He couldn't think of any better way to get what he wanted than to get physical with her and be intimidating at her.

When the daughter was younger we made it a non-negotiable condition for her getting a phone that we knew the password and had the right to get her phone and look at whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. If she didn't agree to it, then she didn't have to have a phone.

Once she hit 18 we no longer went into her phone and looked around, but before that, we did, and she knew that we'd do it. So it was never a surprise or argument. She was surprised, however, at how good we were at finding anything she was ever trying to conceal.

If this guy is paying for her phone, and she's under 18yo, then you take the phone and not give it back until/unless she's willing to share the password so you can get into it. No additional argument needed.

If she's over 18yo, and/or paying for her own phone with her own money, then he should respect her privacy.

Either way, he's a neanderthal who's ill-equipped to deal with actual complex problems beyond grunting, pounding his chest, and bullying.
I imagine if he just took it and said she can't have it back until she gave her password she would have caved eventually.

If he's willing to use domestic violence on his daughter he probably uses it on his wife. Is that really an example he should be setting for her?

Dude's a POS dad.
 

jimneffer

All-American
Jan 27, 2026
1,918
5,764
113
as a matter of principle, i'd say any grown man physically imposing his will on a teenage girl is likely in the wrong

unless she's actively trying to harm someone or herself, this is never appropriate

i can only imagine what else this family has dealt with if this is how a refusal to turn over a phone is handled.
 
Jun 1, 2026
1,329
459
83
This dad is doing a terrible job and could have handled this much differently. However the daughter is also clearly hiding something and maybe the dad has tried to reason with her before this video was taken.
I do get a kick out of reading comments from some of the same posters in the abortion thread. With that, it’s too bad this daughter wasn’t still in the mom’s womb, they could just murder her instead and solve all the problems.
 

RockyMtNole

Heisman
Jul 1, 2025
5,199
21,630
113
This dad is doing a terrible job and could have handled this much differently. However the daughter is also clearly hiding something and maybe the dad has tried to reason with her before this video was taken.
I do get a kick out of reading comments from some of the same posters in the abortion thread. With that, it’s too bad this daughter wasn’t still in the mom’s womb, they could just murder her instead and solve all the problems.
You’re a f*cking idiot. Just stfu
 

AFM22

Heisman
Oct 31, 2022
20,011
38,389
113
This dad is doing a terrible job and could have handled this much differently. However the daughter is also clearly hiding something and maybe the dad has tried to reason with her before this video was taken.
I do get a kick out of reading comments from some of the same posters in the abortion thread. With that, it’s too bad this daughter wasn’t still in the mom’s womb, they could just murder her instead and solve all the problems.
Great comment as usual broseph. Keep up the good work.
 

alaskanseminole

Heisman
Oct 20, 2002
245,976
12,823
103
Should not have pinned her to the ground but looking in her phone is for her protection.
This. And what is the point of filming and posting this encounter. I'm getting tired of the "society needs to judge others over their worst moments" movement that seems to be all the rage.

That said, I can't imagine having a relationship with any of my kids that would require this. They all know it's my phone, not theirs and are suceptable to me looking through it at any given point. They all also know/knew there would be ZERO social media on their phone until 18. If I ask for the phone, it's handed over and not really a big deal.
 
Jun 1, 2026
1,329
459
83
This. And what is the point of filming and posting this encounter. I'm getting tired of the "society needs to judge others over their worst moments" movement that seems to be all the rage.

That said, I can't imagine having a relationship with any of my kids that would require this. They all know it's my phone, not theirs and are suceptable to me looking through it at any given point. They all also know/knew there would be ZERO social media on their phone until 18. If I ask for the phone, it's handed over and not really a big deal.
I’m curious what you do or did or what you would have done if they didn’t turn it over?
Again, not saying a dad should wrestle his daughter but some kids are just sh*t heads and don’t do what their parents say or lay out as ground rules.
 

alaskanseminole

Heisman
Oct 20, 2002
245,976
12,823
103
I’m curious what you do or did or what you would have done if they didn’t turn it over?
Again, not saying a dad should wrestle his daughter but some kids are just sh*t heads and don’t do what their parents say or lay out as ground rules.
First off, I can't imagine my children being that defiant, but I'd like to believe I'd NEVER need to wrestle my daughters to the ground. Depending on the circumstances, I could see me doing it to my son, but there would need to be a TON more context than what we see in this short video. That said, what would I do in those exact circumstances? Walk away and brick the phone with a remote wipe/reset.

It's always easy to judge what we'd all do based on a tiny snippet of time, I'd love to see the raise of hands for the parents on here that are confident they don't have a terrible parenting moment they'd want captured on film.
 

alaskanseminole

Heisman
Oct 20, 2002
245,976
12,823
103
If it came to that-what was in the video-he has already failed as a parent.
Or her as a daughter...for all we know she just got out of rehab and isn't supposed to have contact with her dealer and she's violated the agreement to get her phone back. Again, I honestly can't imagine EVER getting physical with my daughters, but I've also never been given a reason (by them) to do so. Ugh...never black and white, these armchair QB moments, right?

p.s.
He 100% could just be a giant POS.
 

gohawks50

Heisman
Dec 28, 2010
3,030
11,317
113
I’m curious what you do or did or what you would have done if they didn’t turn it over?
Again, not saying a dad should wrestle his daughter but some kids are just sh*t heads and don’t do what their parents say or lay out as ground rules.
Call the cell phone company to suspend service on the phone and change my home wifi password.
 
  • Like
Reactions: McLovin32
Jun 1, 2026
1,329
459
83
Cosmic stupidity.

And believes that point is so exceptional that anyone who doesn't concur is in a "cult."
Hey, look who’s back! The Mclovin handle has missed one of his sidekicks. How was the time away with your boyfriend?
Looks like all I have to do is say someone’s a f*cking idiot. Just stfu if I don’t like what someone says.
With that said, you’re a f*cking idiot. Just stfu.
 

alaskanseminole

Heisman
Oct 20, 2002
245,976
12,823
103
Why do people put shi.t like this on fuggin social media for the world to see?
What She Said GIF by The Free Mama
 
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