Montclair will be faster than New Canaan and Fairfield. Also you will be able to buy more house. Think your mistake was that you started at the right place but enddd up in the wrong place. Montville is a nice town but not an easy commute to nyc.
When we lived in Montclair, there was no direct train to Penn Station. So it was Hoboken and then Herald Square and a 15 minute walk. Then our office moved up to 54th and Lex and I had to add a subway trip.
When we moved to Montville it was the closest town to NYC with available land to build. After a few years, I just drove in but that of course presented its own obstacles.
If the OP is going to be working in lower Manhattan, I agree that NJ is the best bet.