I don't have any recs for San Fran, but we were in Napa a few months back. I recommend eating at Mustards and Bistro Jeanty, both in the Yountville area. We ate at Morimoto and Celadon in Napa. Morimoto is high end Japanese, and while it was good I didn't think it was worth it. Celadon is Italian and I thought it was great. I have heard great things about Bouchon in Yountville, but we were not able to get a reservation. I have also heard that you should try Gott's Roadside (in St. Helena or in Napa), but we didn't make it.
There are bars in the town of Napa, but not in Yountville or the other little "towns" throughout the valley. There area bunch of tasting houses in those, which are also fun but you're not going to get tvs or anything you'd think of in a normal bar.
We were mostly there for the winery tours, so we had a driver take us all around for a couple of days. The volume of wine definitely adds up as you move from place to place.