OT: RU grads that relocated to another state

[Knight Shift]

I'm not originally from NJ, I went to Rutgers and stayed 13 more years after graduation, so I can easily say NJ is rough around the edges to say the least. But I have to it is. It as bad as some make it out to be, while living there I tried to see as much as I could and can say there are some wonderful places in NJ. Last November I moved my family to Wilmington, NC since we have family down here. Wilmington is a nice little city but have definitely grown a bit homesick, people are nice and home prices are great but it is definitely an adjustment to southern culture.

Where are you in Wilmington? We lived in North Chase, across from Laney High School 1990-92. We really liked it a lot down there. We were new engineers hired by Corning. The southern culture thing was a bit funny- after joining the church, a bunch of church ladies came by the house to talk to my wife, and they seemed put off by the fact that my wife worked. Other than that, we really liked the beaches, especially Wrightsville Beach, and downtown Wilmington by the river had a lot of cool restaurants and bars.

 

[FanuSanu52]

No offense, but California beaches are pretty ******, which was a big disappointment for me. I've been to CA beaches from Pacifica to San Diego. Better surfing than NJ. Of course, but how many people actually surf. I'd say the swimming is about the same. The best beaches in the US are actually in FL. Siesta Key for one, blows away anything that CA has.

Don't live there and you ended up agreeing with me ... so no offense taken.

 

[scarletrat]

Been living in SF for the past 5+ years. Looking past the cost of living here, my family and I really like living here. Only things miss in NJ are having to give up RU season tix and gamedays, a few restaurants, and friends/family--basically what others have said. No love loss otherwise, despite having grown up in North Jersey and went to RU. NJ and NE for that matter not worth it. Lived in NC (Chapel Hill, Wilmington) and really liked it there, though was right after graduated from RU. Fair chance I may move back though, just given the percentages, as I work in the pharma/biotech industry.

 

[Caliknight]

No offense, but California beaches are pretty ******, which was a big disappointment for me. I've been to CA beaches from Pacifica to San Diego. Better surfing than NJ. Of course, but how many people actually surf. I'd say the swimming is about the same. The best beaches in the US are actually in FL. Siesta Key for one, blows away anything that CA has.

Al, you went to the wrong beaches. I have spent a lot of time on NJ beaches, as well as Ca. beaches. They are on opposite ends of the spectrum.

 

[NotInRHouse_anon]

I am originally from Long Island, but also grew up partially in Monmouth County, lived in NB for 4 years for RU, then law school in NYC, and now some time in Jersey City. I also spend the better part of the summer down the shore between Asbury and Point going back a few years.

I've traveled a lot over the US and outside, and while I would consider living internationally, there are few other places in the US I'd consider. Maybe Chicago, if I were a warm weather person I'd consider California. But certainly not where many NJ move- Florida (America's Waiting Room), North Carolina (the new waiting room) or Pennsyltucky (there are probably 20+ third world countries I'd rank ahead of that crudhole).

The 24-7 culture, the upfrontedness, the diversity, the ability to go from shore to city to mountains in an hour, I wouldn't trade. The small suburb where my parents live in NJ has more restaurants and stores open late or 24-7 than most US cities. People in other parts of the US steer- I don't really consider 70 in the left "driving" and thankfully few in NJ do. Few bands can skip a tour here and few international airlines can skip the airports here.

And of course the ability to walk down the street without being greeted. It still puzzles me to walk down the street in other cities and people say hello or to get into a cab and have a conversation expected. Always feels like a scam lol.

 

[FanuSanu52]

This thread is about to get good.

opcorn:

 

[Upstream]

Al, you went to the wrong beaches. I have spent a lot of time on NJ beaches, as well as Ca. beaches. They are on opposite ends of the spectrum.

I've only been to a handful of beaches in Calif, so maybe I've been to the wrong beaches too.

I've been to Malibu Lagoon State Park, which I thought was a nice beach, and not too crowded at the time I went (which was a weekday afternoon). The scenery, with the mountains behind you, was certainly more interesting than NJ beaches, and I also liked the topless girls. But I don't think the beach itself was as nice as Island Beach State Park in NJ.

I've been to Santa Monica, but mainly to see the pier, which I thought was incredibly disappointing compared to boardwalk amusements in NJ. The beach itself was neither nicer, nor significantly worse than most urban beaches in NJ. I'd really give the edge to Long Branch, which has nicer beachfront amenities.

I've been to Venice Beach (on the same day I went to Santa Monica), but that was mostly to see the freaks. I will grant that it is freakier than Seaside.

I've been to Manhattan Beach. There was absolutely nothing distinguishable about the beach.

The unique thing that I noticed about California beaches is bigger surf, since it is a west coast beach, and the mountains in the area near Malibu. The unique thing about NJ beaches is the boardwalks, even without amusements in places like Spring Lake or Avon.

Also, since so much of NJ's shoreline is barrier islands, in many shore towns you have the beach side and the marinas on the bay side. While this is fairly common on the east coast (and makes up a good part of the Intracoastal Waterway), I don't know if there is anything comparable in California.

 

[RU_Planning]

I've only been to a handful of beaches in Calif, so maybe I've been to the wrong beaches too.

I've been to Malibu Lagoon State Park, which I thought was a nice beach, and not too crowded at the time I went (which was a weekday afternoon). The scenery, with the mountains behind you, was certainly more interesting than NJ beaches, and I also liked the topless girls. But I don't think the beach itself was as nice as Island Beach State Park in NJ.

I've been to Santa Monica, but mainly to see the pier, which I thought was incredibly disappointing compared to boardwalk amusements in NJ. The beach itself was neither nicer, nor significantly worse than most urban beaches in NJ. I'd really give the edge to Long Branch, which has nicer beachfront amenities.

I've been to Venice Beach (on the same day I went to Santa Monica), but that was mostly to see the freaks. I will grant that it is freakier than Seaside.

I've been to Manhattan Beach. There was absolutely nothing distinguishable about the beach.

The unique thing that I noticed about California beaches is bigger surf, since it is a west coast beach, and the mountains in the area near Malibu. The unique thing about NJ beaches is the boardwalks, even without amusements in places like Spring Lake or Avon.

Also, since so much of NJ's shoreline is barrier islands, in many shore towns you have the beach side and the marinas on the bay side. While this is fairly common on the east coast (and makes up a good part of the Intracoastal Waterway), I don't know if there is anything comparable in California.

I found the San Diego beaches to be pleasant, Coronado was very relaxing, La Jolla beaches were smaller and difficult to access, but attractive. Pacific Beach seemed to be the party beach, Mission Beach seemed good for families, and Ocean Beach seemed like the edgy / hipster type beach. I am sure there are others I didn't visit, but I was overall impressed with the beaches. No charge to access them either (unlike many in NJ).

I am looking forward to checking out the LA beaches at some point in the near future to compare.

 

[scarletrat]

Upstream, you needed to go down stream, further south, toward San Diego...Carlsbad, etc are IMO far better, less crowded (mostly locals when we have gone)...if you wanted a boardwalk, Santa Cruz boardwalk is closest to NJ...

I liked Island State Beach Park, but I'm also not a fan in general of NJ beaches...Wrightsville Beach and Wilmington when I lived there was much better and cleaner...

 

[76Scarlet]

Baltimore (and a few years around the DC area) since 1981.................and yes........................ still miss NJ.

 

[Upstream]

Upstream, you needed to go down stream, further south, toward San Diego...Carlsbad, etc are IMO far better, less crowded (mostly locals when we have gone)...if you wanted a boardwalk, Santa Cruz boardwalk is closest to NJ...

I liked Island State Beach Park, but I'm also not a fan in general of NJ beaches...Wrightsville Beach and Wilmington when I lived there was much better and cleaner...

I don't claim to be an expert on California beaches. As I noted, I've only been to 4 beaches in California, all in the LA area, and two of them on the same day.

That said, I am loathe to go too far south or north to compare to NJ beaches. The NJ shoreline, from Sandy Hook to Cape May, is about 125 miles. That is roughly the same as the California shoreline from Malibu to Carlsbad. If you want to expand the distance, someone in NJ has easy access to the Hamptons and Fire Island. I can have breakfast in NJ, go visit the wild horses on the beach at Assateague and be home for dinner.

The comments in this thread were mainly about people in NJ having proximity to nice beaches and other nearby attractions. Cali, who I believe lives near LA, said, "The mountains and beaches of Southern California are much better". And while "better" is a matter of opinion, I certainly didn't find that to be true in regards to beaches. And considering that most rankings of best beaches in the US include NJ beaches (and east coast beaches in short distance from NJ) as well as California beaches, it appears the "experts" don't consider one to be "much better" than the other.

 

[Guaro316]

Where are you in Wilmington? We lived in North Chase, across from Laney High School 1990-92. We really liked it a lot down there. We were new engineers hired by Corning. The southern culture thing was a bit funny- after joining the church, a bunch of church ladies came by the house to talk to my wife, and they seemed put off by the fact that my wife worked. Other than that, we really liked the beaches, especially Wrightsville Beach, and downtown Wilmington by the river had a lot of cool restaurants and bars.

Where are you in Wilmington? We lived in North Chase, across from Laney High School 1990-92. We really liked it a lot down there. We were new engineers hired by Corning. The southern culture thing was a bit funny- after joining the church, a bunch of church ladies came by the house to talk to my wife, and they seemed put off by the fact that my wife worked. Other than that, we really liked the beaches, especially Wrightsville Beach, and downtown Wilmington by the river had a lot of cool restaurants and bars.

.

We live in the Masonboro area right off of Navaho Trail. And yes the beaches are great and it's convenient that they are not very crowded.

 

[Caliknight]

I've only been to a handful of beaches in Calif, so maybe I've been to the wrong beaches too.

I've been to Malibu Lagoon State Park, which I thought was a nice beach, and not too crowded at the time I went (which was a weekday afternoon). The scenery, with the mountains behind you, was certainly more interesting than NJ beaches, and I also liked the topless girls. But I don't think the beach itself was as nice as Island Beach State Park in NJ.

I've been to Santa Monica, but mainly to see the pier, which I thought was incredibly disappointing compared to boardwalk amusements in NJ. The beach itself was neither nicer, nor significantly worse than most urban beaches in NJ. I'd really give the edge to Long Branch, which has nicer beachfront amenities.

I've been to Venice Beach (on the same day I went to Santa Monica), but that was mostly to see the freaks. I will grant that it is freakier than Seaside.

I've been to Manhattan Beach. There was absolutely nothing distinguishable about the beach.

The unique thing that I noticed about California beaches is bigger surf, since it is a west coast beach, and the mountains in the area near Malibu. The unique thing about NJ beaches is the boardwalks, even without amusements in places like Spring Lake or Avon.

Also, since so much of NJ's shoreline is barrier islands, in many shore towns you have the beach side and the marinas on the bay side. While this is fairly common on the east coast (and makes up a good part of the Intracoastal Waterway), I don't know if there is anything comparable in California.

The best beaches in LA are around Malibu, specficially Big and Little Dume, which are long stretches of very cool rocky type coves and blue water. All sitting right below cliffs. NJ, nor anywhere on the east coast that I am aware of, has anything like it. Malibu Lagoon is not that. You likely drove right by them. Here is one:

 

[Caliknight]

I don't claim to be an expert on California beaches. As I noted, I've only been to 4 beaches in California, all in the LA area, and two of them on the same day.

That said, I am loathe to go too far south or north to compare to NJ beaches. The NJ shoreline, from Sandy Hook to Cape May, is about 125 miles. That is roughly the same as the California shoreline from Malibu to Carlsbad. If you want to expand the distance, someone in NJ has easy access to the Hamptons and Fire Island. I can have breakfast in NJ, go visit the wild horses on the beach at Assateague and be home for dinner.

The comments in this thread were mainly about people in NJ having proximity to nice beaches and other nearby attractions. Cali, who I believe lives near LA, said, "The mountains and beaches of Southern California are much better". And while "better" is a matter of opinion, I certainly didn't find that to be true in regards to beaches. And considering that most rankings of best beaches in the US include NJ beaches (and east coast beaches in short distance from NJ) as well as California beaches, it appears the "experts" don't consider one to be "much better" than the other.

I once saw a list on this site as having a beach from NJ ranked as top 10 in the world, which is an absolute joke. I don't put too much stock in those lists.

 

[sct1111]

Notice there aren't too many people moving to states like Ohio, Indiana, or Iowa. The people who left NJ and like where they are better are in areas like Southern California and the Pacific Northwest, areas that are usually regarded as the most scenic places to live in the US. Sure, there may be a handful of places in the US that would be more desirable to the average person but there are also many areas in the US that NJ blows out of the water.

NJ is like the jack of all trades in terms of states. There's a little bit of everything and although this things may not be the best, they're pretty good.

 

[ru66]

why the persistence in attacking NJ--most people like where they live or they would move unless there are extenuating issues--so all this praise of one's current home base is just self-aggrandisement and proves nothing

 

[Knight Shift]

I once saw a list on this site as having a beach from NJ ranked as top 10 in the world, which is an absolute joke. I don't put too much stock in those lists.

The fact of the matter is Asbury Park belongs there. Don't mock it until you have tried it. Great beach. Outstanding food, bar, shopping and entertainment choices on the Boardwalk and across the street. And one of the most vibrant downtowns in New Jersey within a short walk. Fifth Ave is packed, and lots of high end vehicles parked blocks away from the beach. Stop trying to cast stones from 3,000 miles away. If you tried Asbury Park, you might even like it.

 

[Knight Shift]

 

[NotInRHouse_anon]

The fact of the matter is Asbury Park belongs there. Don't mock it until you have tried it. Great beach. Outstanding food, bar, shopping and entertainment choices on the Boardwalk and across the street. And one of the most vibrant downtowns in New Jersey within a short walk. Fifth Ave is packed, and lots of high end vehicles parked blocks away from the beach. Stop trying to cast stones from 3,000 miles away. If you tried Asbury Park, you might even like it.

Why bother arguing with them, better to keep people like that out.

You also forgot Asbury Hotel ranked #1 new hotel in the US.

 

[Knight Shift]

Why bother arguing with them, better to keep people like that out.

You also forgot Asbury Hotel ranked #1 new hotel in the US.

The rooftop of that place is slamming. He would like it. Cargo shorts not allowed.

 

[RUinPAC10land]

Once again, I miss NJ. I want to come back but I don't want to leave my job.

 

[NotInRHouse_anon]

The rooftop of that place is slamming. He would like it. Cargo shorts not allowed.

LOL. I have a friend from the city who said to wear jeans to Bar A...and I was like the only place down here you need jeans is the Asbury Hotel rooftop.

 

[Knight Shift]

LOL. I have a friend from the city who said to wear jeans to Bar A...and I was like the only place down here you need jeans is the Asbury Hotel rooftop.

Felt a little old up there on Saturday night. Have to hit a movie on the other side of the roof on the grass.

 

[NotInRHouse_anon]

Felt a little old up there on Saturday night. Have to hit a movie on the other side of the roof on the grass.

You shouldn't. Not sure how old you are but I've seen people in their 60s at Djais. The shore is for all ages.

 

[e5fdny]

You shouldn't. Not sure how old you are but I've seen people in their 60s at Djais. The shore is for all ages.

True, just not ALL of the Shore.

 

[RutgersRockies]

So, I guess this is the post that turns me from lurker into poster. One underlying thread I see is whether or not one has roots in New Jersey. I am not a native of the state, so I kind of found it tough to crack that inner circle, so to speak. That’s not to say I didn’t find people from New Jersey welcoming (it’s much better than Midwestern Nice or the Seattle Freeze); it’s just different if you’re not from there and don’t have family in New Jersey. I moved away after graduating nearly 20 years ago, so I’ll answer the OP in list form.

That being said, things I miss:

• Having so many different beaches. I spent summers living in Long Beach Island and school years working in Point Pleasant and absolutely loved it. What’s the deal with charging to go to the beach, though? I don’t get it.
  
• The food. I have lived in five states and visited about a dozen countries, but nothing compares to the options in the New Jersey area (NYC and Philly included for diversity). The best pizza I can get in my town now is probably Costco. The subs are unparalleled too.
  
• Entertainment options. There are literally thousands of choices each week for entertainment. Can’t beat that. I miss going to the City on a whim. I have brought my kids there a couple of times, but it’s not the same as a tourist.
  
• Rutgers. I loved my time there and have a deep affection for alma mater. I agree with other posters that living in New Jersey prepares one for life. It certainly gave me an advantage. Whenever I travel to the area for work, I feed off the energy there.
• Diversity. There are so many different types of people in New Jersey it’s crazy. This is a plus, in my book. I lived with people from Iran, Taiwan, Vietnam and China during my time there.

Things I do not miss:

• Cold, wet winters. I saw someone else post about nasty weather in the Pacific Northwest. It always seemed cloudy from November to May in New Jersey. I know this will make some people laugh, especially those in New England.
  
• Congestion. Maybe it’s from moving away, but whenever I get back there, it just seems so crowded to me.

All in all, I would take New Jersey over many places to live. It’s funny, but I appreciate a Jersey attitude much more than a Midwestern one. People from Kansas and Nebraska especially seem to be lacking any kind of social skills. I find myself drawn to friends from the Tri-State area.

I probably wouldn't move back, but I really crave a visit at least once a year.

 

[Upstream]

What’s the deal with charging to go to the beach, though? I don’t get it.

Maintaining a beach and providing lifeguards is not free. Someone has to pay for it. In most other states, the beaches are far enough away from other states, that the only people who are going to the beach are state residents and visitors who are staying overnight. So the cost of the beach can be funded through state taxes and lodging taxes. But in New Jersey, the beaches are close to other states. It is very easy for someone from New York or Pennsylvania to spend the day at a New Jersey beach and not spend a penny in the state. Charging for the beach is a way to ensure that day-trippers from nearby states don't get to shift the cost of their beach day onto NJ taxpayers. (I think there are better ways to achieve this goal, but those other ways would likely still result in out-of-state day-trippers paying a fee.)

 

[Knight Shift]

True, just not ALL of the Shore.

Yeah Spring Lake is for old rich people.

 

[RU85inFla]

For people who left NJ either with young kids, or before having kids, how would you compare schools where you ended up vs what you know about NJ?

My kids in Florida went public to great schools ranked in the extreme top of the State and the country. The reality is I probably couldn't have afforded communities in NJ with similarly ranked public schools.

 

[Blitz8RU]

Once I moved out of NJ, a couple years after graduation from RU, I moved to Georgia, Wisconsin, Texas and California. Currently in California (SF Bay area). I can say for a fact that other than high cost of living and bad traffic, CA is the best out of them.

 

[rucoe89]

Born and raised in Jersey. Lived in New England and spent extended time in Dallas and Atlanta. Have family in North Carolina and Georgia. Been in California (San Francisco Bay Area) over 20 years. By far prefer it out here in California. Definitely has cons such as high cost of living and taxes, but love the diversity, culture, and outdoors. SF area is NYC level insane in terms of pace, but less confrontational than NYC so in some ways more bearable.

Do miss the pizza, subs, and, of course, Dear 'ol Rutgers.

 

[NotInRHouse_anon]

True, just not ALL of the Shore.

When I say the Shore I mean Asbury to Point and everything in between. Seaside is out for obvious reasons, the rest is too far (I do AC a few times a year but don't count that) but have always wanted to check out Avalon and Stone Harbor.

North of Asbury, the beach at Sandy Hook is nice but out of the way, Long Branch has potential but not lively enough for me yet. Between Asbury and Long Branch is just too bougie for me.

 

[Jtung230]

I can understand SF over NJ. I would take NYC too but I thought we were talking about state comparisons.

 

[Caliknight]

The fact of the matter is Asbury Park belongs there. Don't mock it until you have tried it. Great beach. Outstanding food, bar, shopping and entertainment choices on the Boardwalk and across the street. And one of the most vibrant downtowns in New Jersey within a short walk. Fifth Ave is packed, and lots of high end vehicles parked blocks away from the beach. Stop trying to cast stones from 3,000 miles away. If you tried Asbury Park, you might even like it.

I have been to Asbury Park more x than I can count. On the list of beaches that I have been too, it wouldn't make my top 50. Sorry.

Where are these great mountains of NJ I see people talking about?

 

[e5fdny]

When I say the Shore I mean Asbury to Point and everything in between. Seaside is out for obvious reasons, the rest is too far (I do AC a few times a year but don't count that) but have always wanted to check out Avalon and Stone Harbor.

North of Asbury, the beach at Sandy Hook is nice but out of the way, Long Branch has potential but not lively enough for me yet. Between Asbury and Long Branch is just too bougie for me.

As did I.

 

[FanuSanu52]

OP just asked transplants if they miss NJ. Think your town plays more into that than your state, especially out West. Should someone in SF miss NJ because the Eastern CA desert is too hot and isolated?

 

[Jtung230]

OP just asked transplants if they miss NJ. Think your town plays more into that than your state, especially out West. Should someone in SF miss NJ because the Eastern CA desert is too hot and isolated?

To your point, what does Beaches in Malibu have to do with SF?

 

[FanuSanu52]

No idea, didn't post anything like that. Each person defines his or her own happiness based on whatever's important. But thread was never solely about state v state comparisons.

 

[newwavedave1]

I have been to Asbury Park more x than I can count. On the list of beaches that I have been too, it wouldn't make my top 50. Sorry.

Where are these great mountains of NJ I see people talking about?

I live at the base of the Cascade foothills. Taller than any Jersey "mountain".

 

[rucoe89]

I can understand SF over NJ. I would take NYC too but I thought we were talking about state comparisons.

Point well taken. I still would prefer California over NJ. It is like a mini- country within a country with a wide range of differences between cities such as SF, LA and SD as well as rural areas such as Redding, Tahoe, Course Gold and Temecula. There also is diversity of people / culture between these areas. The weather too is quite different in all of these areas. Overall, just more interesting aspects to explore in the state than NJ and a lot of other states. Washington and Colorado may be the next 2 with that wide range.