OT - funeral etiquette question

[FQDawg]

So, I've been very fortunate that I haven't needed to attend a funeral in close to 15 years but have to go to one next week.

What's the standard attire for someone attending a funeral these days? Full suit? Slacks and a sport coat? Business casual?

I'll hang up and listen.

 

[stateu1]

I've had the misfortune of going to several lately. There is no standard. You'll see folks wearing everything. From jeans to full suit. I'm usually dress pants, button down and sports coat. People just don't dress up like they used to anymore.

 

[Drebin]

So, I've been very fortunate that I haven't needed to attend a funeral in close to 15 years but have to go to one next week.

What's the standard attire for someone attending a funeral these days? Full suit? Slacks and a sport coat? Business casual?

I'll hang up and listen.

It depends on how you feel about the deceased’s immediate family. If you like them, a suit is good to show respect to them. If you don’t know them or are indifferent, something nice but below the suit standard is fine.

That’s my process, anyway.

 

[RutherfordBHayes]

Depends. First Baptist Jackson, I’d go suit w no tie or nice sport coat w tie.
Chunky Methodist Church, I’d be more casual.
Alway, always better to be overdressed than under.

 

[karlchilders.sixpack]

Depends on who and what .....etc.

Normally slacks, nice button down shirt and sports coat will do it.

 

[The Fatboy]

You won't offend anyone if you wear something better than bluejeans. Slacks and polo or button down and you should be fine. Dark color family of course.

 

[AFDawg]

I go to a lot of funerals. People wear anything to visitation these days, especially in rural areas. And funeral attire is much more casual than it used to be. That said, you can't go wrong with a dark colored suit.

 

[Dawg1976]

I attended the funeral of an old golf buddy not long ago. He had a golf shirt on and right next to the registry was a box of golf balls for each attending. I'm sure my buddy told his family to do this and it was a nice touch. But to answer the question, I usually wear dress slacks and a sports coat....no tie. Funerals of relatives I usually wear a suit.

 

[11thEagleFan]

There’s no such thing as overdressed. Put on your best, I’m sure the family will appreciate it.

 

[Raiderdawg.sixpack]

I worked at a mortuary for 2+ years. Most people dress up to show respect, but your level of dress up depends on the person.

Truth is, most mourning family members won’t remember what you wear. They will remember who showed up and they will pay attention to who signed the book.

 

[msudawg12]

I dont think there is much etiquette any more but I will give you my theory. If I’m going to a funeral, I’m going to that person’s last celebration on this Earth and to me, I cannot think of a more appropriate time to respect the situation and honor that person by dressing in a suit. Thats just me. I dont think poorly of someone not in a suit, its just the way I feel.

For extra detail, i dont wear a suit to work and rarely, if ever, to church. Mostly weddings and funerals

 

[MeridianDog]

Still remember my grandfather's funeral in Isola, MS in 1968. He was a farmer and they buried him in his Sunday Overalls and a white shirt. Over 90% of those at the funeral wore their overalls, too.

If I was trying to decide, I would consider the family of the deceased. If they are blue jeans people that you have never seen in a suit, I would consider wearing slacks and a nice shirt. If they are all doctors and lawyers, then a suit would seem right to me. If the family is all Hell's Angles, then for heaven's sake, don't wear your Bandidos colors. In other words, consider the family first.

 

[Col. Forbin]

I’m right there with you. Suit always at a funeral.

 

[PineGroveBully]

I had a cousin die unexpectedly a little over a week ago at 48. He was buried in his overalls with a tshirt, wearing his Yankees cap, and with a Diet Mtn Dew. The final song played at the funeral was KISS's "Detroit Rock City" as he was a huge kiss fan. The family requested the pallbearers wear jeans. Several of them wore KISS shirts.

My dad has told me to many times to count that he had better be buried in his jeans with a plain work shirt. What do you say but "yes sir"? I just wish he had of let me get out of Jr high before starting to tell me. The good lord willing I won't hafta follow those orders for a while.

 

[Dawgybag]

Dark suit and tie. Preferably a dark colored tie with polished shoes. Looking like you care about your appearance means a lot. It shows that you put forth some effort for the occasion and shows respect for the deceased and the family too.

 

[bruiser.sixpack]

Wear what you would wear if you were going to YOUR funeral. And don’t worry about it. The deceased family will barely remember you were there let alone what you were were wearing.

 

[aTotal360]

That exactly how I look at things. I wear what I would like someone else to wear if I were the host.

 

[cowbell88]

If you’re asked to be a pallbearer, then without a doubt, freshly dry cleaned suit with starched shirt.

If not a pallbearer, I use the friendship or relationship level to gage attire. Good friends or close family go suit.

Casual friends or cousins that you haven’t seen in a decade, probably warrants slacks and button up shirt.

 

[fishwater99]

Black suit with white shirt, black tie is optional.

 

[Tall Dawg]

I worked at a mortuary for 2+ years. Most people dress up to show respect, but your level of dress up depends on the person.

Truth is, most mourning family members won’t remember what you wear. They will remember who showed up and they will pay attention to who signed the book.

Raiderdawg for the win!!

It’s MUCH more about u coming and showing your respects to the deceased and they’re family.

I think anything above blue jeans is 100% ok.
No tie or jacket needed.

 

[tatedog]

Depends. First Baptist Jackson, I’d go suit w no tie or nice sport coat w tie.
Chunky Methodist Church, I’d be more casual.
Alway, always better to be overdressed than under.

Got asked once to fill in for a pall bearer who couldn't fulfill his duties. I felt a little icky about it because I'm pretty old school and think that's a pretty sacred tradition to use men who were named, but since that day I've never considered wearing anything but a suit "just in case."

 

[goodknight]

I can tell you this from personal experience. When you loose a loved one that’s the last thing on your mind, IE what are those attending wearing. Your presence and support is all that is needed. I could’ve cared less what people were wearing! I appreciated the hugs, handshakes and stories more than anything. Show up and simply provide support.

 

[o_Hot Rock]

I can tell you this from personal experience. When you loose a loved one that’s the last thing on your mind, IE what are those attending wearing. Your presence and support is all that is needed. I could’ve cared less what people were wearing! I appreciated the hugs, handshakes and stories more than anything. Show up and simply provide support.

I have buried my wife and my daughter. #1 show up #2 dressing up does not hurt.. it shows you cared enough to do it but above all show up even if it’s cutoff shorts, sweaty from yard work. Show up and sign that book

 

[UpTheMiddlex3Punt]

If you don't dress nice for other people's funerals, they won't dress nice for yours.

 

[maroonmadman]

I keep a black suit for funerals and a grey one for weddings. Although there isn't a whole lot of difference in the two other than the guest of honor doesn't have to give a speech in the former....**