OFFICIAL Golden Gopher Haiku Thread

[Knight Shift]

Kill all the gophers
A Cinderella story
Just like Carl Spackler

 

[RUsince52]

Weather will be cool
Bring on the maroon and gold
We now have Gio therm.

 

[Knight Shift]

Gio Rescigno
Gets the start at quarterback!
Ignites the offense.

 

[Ruthinking]

If Gopher was first,
Tell me what name came second.
That's the best they had?

 

[RUforester72]

There once was a man
from Minnesota and he
should have bet RU

 

[Ruthinking]

Kill all the gophers
A Cinderella story
Just like Carl Spackler

Who is Carl Spackler?
A Gopher killer, like us?
Don't make me google.

 

[Ruthinking]

If Gopher was first,
Tell me what name came second.
That's the best they had?

A Golden one no less,
R they friends, foes, or rodents.
I sense some road kill.

 

[Knight Shift]

Who is Carl Spackler?
A Gopher killer, like us?
Don't make me google.

Who is Carl Spackler?
Who is John Galt? Carl Spackler-
Legend at Bushwood.

 

[Ruthinking]

Who is Carl Spackler?
Who is John Galt? Carl Spackler-
Legend at Bushwood.

Had to google it.
Been a while since that movie.
Kill, kill, the gophers.

 

[Knight Shift]

Had to google it.
Been a while since that movie.
Kill, kill, the gophers.

Carl's licensed to kill
Gophers by government of
United Nations!

 

[RUsince52]

Now Minny Ha Ha
And Land of a Thousand Lakes
We get the last laugh.

 

[ScarletStateofNJ]

What is a Gopher
Ash is ....ahh f*ck this season!
Don't care anymore

 

[RRRRUUUU]

Gio runs the spread
Drew gets a QB that runs
Not rocket science

 

[Rescooter]

Let Caddyshack warn
Golden Gophers run rampant
Knights become roadkill

 

[Ruthinking]

Let Caddyshack warn
Golden Gophers run rampant
Knights become roadkill

I beg to differ
Rodents vs. Scarlet Knights
Rodents R road kill.

 

[Ruthinking]

There's no humane way
To rid yourself of gophers
Snakes and Knights kill them

 

[Rescooter]

Let Caddyshack warn
Golden Gophers run rampant
Knights become roadkill

Remember these names:
Rhoda, Smith, Brooks, McCrary
Clinic in Session

 

[RUDutch]

Remember this name
Giovanni Rescigno
The Gopher killer.

 

[Knight Shift]

Rhoda? Moved to NYC
Minneapolis must suck
Gopher infested

 

[Knight Shift]

"Au revoir, gopher."
The words of Jean-Paul Sartre.
Going to be sweet.

 

[Rescooter]

Not bad Jersey Boys
Gophers turn rabid on cue
Scarlet flag turns white

 

[Knight Shift]

Quarterback Rhoda?
Tyler Moore's mother-Mary?
You got Ted Baxter?

 

[stuw6]

It's a long season
when your life expectancy
is dwarfed by the spread

 

[ScarletDave]

snow snow snow snow snow
driving through Minnesota
nope, the roads are blocked

 

[Scarlet16e2]

Paul Tagliabue:
"LI tennis clubs don't care"
Thank GOD for Big Jim

 

[Doctor Worm]

Philip Nelson Bowl
We get knocked down, then get up
Stomp them in the head

 

[ruready4somefootball_rivals]

Philip Nelson Bowl
We get knocked down, then get up
Stomp them in the head

Ouch.

 

[Doctor Worm]

Ouch.

Not literal stomp
"Stomp" means score many touchdowns
Poetic license

 

[MidwestKnights]

Frost bit nose
Frost bit toes
Rutgers wins on the road

 

[Rescooter]

Philip Nelson Bowl
We get knocked down, then get up
Stomp them in the head

Inappropriate?
"The Stolen Girlfriend Trophy"
Phil Nelson Boot Bowl.

 

[Knight Shift]

Gopher fans get a
Participation trophy
Nice job on haikus

 

[Ruthinking]

The Golden Gopher
Will be like the Golden Goose
They both lay an egg!

 

[Knight Shift]

Nice, cool drink, varmints?
Probably replaced by rat.
Teach you a lesson.

Carl Spackler-his quotes
on gophers-tough to haiku
but entertaining

 

[Doctor Worm]

Lose... accept result?
We'll look at it at the time
Keep you in suspense

 

[Knight Shift]

Lose... accept result?
We'll look at it at the time
Keep you in suspense

Haiku politics?
Jesse Ventura was Gov.
How embarrassing.

 

[RutgersROB]

Minnesota, Minnesota
Gary Nova, 0 turnovers
Upset, red team
Upstream, red team

 

[srru86]

Juicy Lucy, Yes
Walleye Dinner, Ubetcha
Lutefish, I pass

 

[Knight Shift]

Prince versus Springsteen
Minnesota-New Jersey
Blow 'em away Knights

 

[Knight Shift]

Great big gobs greasy
Grimy gopher guts. Scum! Slime!
Teach varmints lesson.

 

[iReC89]

Peaceful transition
Gophers go low, Knights go high!
Gio gets it done!