The Hawks logo works better for sure, but script font needs to be very high contrast to be readable from distance or on a screen. That's why it works on the gold uniforms. The black on black just isn't visible enough to be easy to read and the yellow outline isn't enough to make it stand out.
Again, it is a really cool shirt and I think it would sell well if it was made, but uniforms have different standards than shirts do. Uniforms are as much advertising as anything else so they should send the message of who you are immediately without effort. That's why I've always liked the uniforms that just had the Tigerhawk on the front. It's different, because there aren't many other teams who use their "brand" symbol on their jerseys, but it is easy to identify. By the way, it's these characteristics that are why the Tigerhawk works so well for the University. You aren't going to confuse it with anything else. Unless some other University tries to steal it