Greetings, fellow football fanatics! This is your Peerless Pigskin Prognosticator, Major Amos B. Hoople, with his Fearless Forecast for Week 3 of the Big 10 season.
Last week the crystal ball let me down, as I finished with a miserable 11-6 record. Egad, that was embarrassing for the ‘ol Major! I haven’t had an outing that bad since Hector was a pup. Still, my overall record so far this year is 26-8. Respectable, but not up to snuff. I am determined to bounce back though, and I expect this week to return to my normal excellence. <hep-kemph>
Portland State at Oregon. The Quack Attack was shot down by the Cowboy’s of Oklahoma State last week, in a monumental upset. Can Portland duplicate this feat? Not likely, as Oregon will get their Ducks back in a row, winning handily.
Oregon 59 Portland State 3
Akron at Minnesota. P.J. Fleck’s canoe sprung a leak last week as Mississippi State dealt Goldy a home loss. Akron does not pose much of a threat to the boat rowers this week. It will be zippity do dah for the Zips.
Minnesota 23 Akron 14
Buffalo at Penn State. The Lions should easily round up the Bulls. <hack-kaff>
Penn State 45 Buffalo 7
Kent State at Ohio State. No longer the #1 team in the polls, the Bucknuts are primed to take out their frustrations on a hapless Kent State team.
Ohio State 55 Kent State 6
Eastern Michigan at Wisconsin. Bucky appears to have improved over last year, but it’s still too early to get a handle on whether they have turned the corner or are stuck in neutral. This week the questions will remain unanswered. <kaff-kaff>
Wisconsin 28 Eastern Michigan 10
Southern Illinois at Illinois. The Illini were scalped last week by those Devil’s from Duke. The Pooches of Southern Illinois should prove just the ticket for Bret’s Boys to get back on track.
Illinois 33 Southern Illinois 13
UTEP at Michigan. After a shaky start in Week 1, the Wolverines bounced back with a big win over Oklahoma. Could they be better than people expected? Don’t turn that dial!
Michigan 42 UTEP 0
USC at Rutgers. The Trojans have playoff aspirations, while the Red Knights are aspiring to win at least one game this season. Normally cross country travel does not bode well for the traveling team. Not this week.
USC 31 Rutgers 10
Western Kentucky at Indiana. The Hoosiers don’t seem to have missed a beat from their national championship.
Indiana 56 Western Kentucky 7
Eastern Washington at Washington. The Sled Dogs mushed their way to victory last week, just barely getting to the finish line. I don’t expect their in-state rival to pose much of a threat.
Washington 41 Eastern Washington 14
North Dakota at Nebraska. This isn’t the Bison the Cornshuckers are facing...it’s the Fighting Hawks. The fight should be taken out of North Dakota early in this one. <um-kumph>
Nebraska 27 North Dakota 7
Michigan State at Notre Dame. Patty Fitz is a good coach and should rescue the Spartan program from the doldrums. Unfortunately they don’t have a prayer this week against the Irish.
Notre Dame 30 Michigan State 17
Virginia Tech at Maryland. The Hokies won’t be pokey when they take on the Turtles. This should be a close one, but home field won’t be an advantage for Maryland.
Virginia Tech 21 Maryland 20
Colorado at Northwestern. Neon Deion’s Buffaloes will stampede into Illinois territory to take on the Wildcats of Northwestern. Colorado is always capable of surprises, but the only surprise this week will be if they win.
Northwestern 27 Colorado 24
Purdue at UCLA. Does anyone care about this one?
UCLA 28 Purdue 14
UNI at Iowa. The Fighting Ferentz’s finally got over the hump against those pesky Cyclones last week to snatch back the Cy-Hawk trophy (as I predicted). Hank Brown seems to be the quarterback the Hawkeyes have been waiting for, as he turned in a solid performance to cement his standing as the #1 quarterback. The running game was stymied by Iowa State, but that won’t be an issue against the over-matched Panthers. Look for Moulton and Company to gallop freely into UNI’s secondary. This will be over at halftime, and we should get a heaping helping of Jeremy Hecklinski in the second half.
Iowa 38 UNI 6
Well folks, that about does it for this week. Tell Ma Hoople to keep the lights turned on and the dog tied up...I’m coming home! <har-rumph>
Boola boola!
Last week the crystal ball let me down, as I finished with a miserable 11-6 record. Egad, that was embarrassing for the ‘ol Major! I haven’t had an outing that bad since Hector was a pup. Still, my overall record so far this year is 26-8. Respectable, but not up to snuff. I am determined to bounce back though, and I expect this week to return to my normal excellence. <hep-kemph>
Portland State at Oregon. The Quack Attack was shot down by the Cowboy’s of Oklahoma State last week, in a monumental upset. Can Portland duplicate this feat? Not likely, as Oregon will get their Ducks back in a row, winning handily.
Oregon 59 Portland State 3
Akron at Minnesota. P.J. Fleck’s canoe sprung a leak last week as Mississippi State dealt Goldy a home loss. Akron does not pose much of a threat to the boat rowers this week. It will be zippity do dah for the Zips.
Minnesota 23 Akron 14
Buffalo at Penn State. The Lions should easily round up the Bulls. <hack-kaff>
Penn State 45 Buffalo 7
Kent State at Ohio State. No longer the #1 team in the polls, the Bucknuts are primed to take out their frustrations on a hapless Kent State team.
Ohio State 55 Kent State 6
Eastern Michigan at Wisconsin. Bucky appears to have improved over last year, but it’s still too early to get a handle on whether they have turned the corner or are stuck in neutral. This week the questions will remain unanswered. <kaff-kaff>
Wisconsin 28 Eastern Michigan 10
Southern Illinois at Illinois. The Illini were scalped last week by those Devil’s from Duke. The Pooches of Southern Illinois should prove just the ticket for Bret’s Boys to get back on track.
Illinois 33 Southern Illinois 13
UTEP at Michigan. After a shaky start in Week 1, the Wolverines bounced back with a big win over Oklahoma. Could they be better than people expected? Don’t turn that dial!
Michigan 42 UTEP 0
USC at Rutgers. The Trojans have playoff aspirations, while the Red Knights are aspiring to win at least one game this season. Normally cross country travel does not bode well for the traveling team. Not this week.
USC 31 Rutgers 10
Western Kentucky at Indiana. The Hoosiers don’t seem to have missed a beat from their national championship.
Indiana 56 Western Kentucky 7
Eastern Washington at Washington. The Sled Dogs mushed their way to victory last week, just barely getting to the finish line. I don’t expect their in-state rival to pose much of a threat.
Washington 41 Eastern Washington 14
North Dakota at Nebraska. This isn’t the Bison the Cornshuckers are facing...it’s the Fighting Hawks. The fight should be taken out of North Dakota early in this one. <um-kumph>
Nebraska 27 North Dakota 7
Michigan State at Notre Dame. Patty Fitz is a good coach and should rescue the Spartan program from the doldrums. Unfortunately they don’t have a prayer this week against the Irish.
Notre Dame 30 Michigan State 17
Virginia Tech at Maryland. The Hokies won’t be pokey when they take on the Turtles. This should be a close one, but home field won’t be an advantage for Maryland.
Virginia Tech 21 Maryland 20
Colorado at Northwestern. Neon Deion’s Buffaloes will stampede into Illinois territory to take on the Wildcats of Northwestern. Colorado is always capable of surprises, but the only surprise this week will be if they win.
Northwestern 27 Colorado 24
Purdue at UCLA. Does anyone care about this one?
UCLA 28 Purdue 14
UNI at Iowa. The Fighting Ferentz’s finally got over the hump against those pesky Cyclones last week to snatch back the Cy-Hawk trophy (as I predicted). Hank Brown seems to be the quarterback the Hawkeyes have been waiting for, as he turned in a solid performance to cement his standing as the #1 quarterback. The running game was stymied by Iowa State, but that won’t be an issue against the over-matched Panthers. Look for Moulton and Company to gallop freely into UNI’s secondary. This will be over at halftime, and we should get a heaping helping of Jeremy Hecklinski in the second half.
Iowa 38 UNI 6
Well folks, that about does it for this week. Tell Ma Hoople to keep the lights turned on and the dog tied up...I’m coming home! <har-rumph>
Boola boola!
