Interesting Lawsuit

grinningmule

Heisman
Jul 15, 2021
4,855
17,619
113
NFL veteran Matt Kalil, 36, is suing his ex-wife, Haley Kalil, after she made comments about his manhood on a recent livestream that he claims were “invasive” and ruined his chances of staying out of the public eye after his NFL retirement.

Haley made the comments in November on Marlon Garcia’s Mar-Athon livestream, when she described her ex-husband’s manhood as “two Coke cans, maybe even a third,” and said that his penis size was a factor in the couple’s 2022 divorce.

--I mean damn, that is significantly better than her holding up a vienna sausage and wagging it around as descriptor.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Jeffreauxdawg

theoriginalSALTYdog

All-Conference
Jul 10, 2021
1,728
2,184
113
Well since his NFL career is over maybe he has an alternative career in the porn industry with a stage name of "the incredible bulk".
 

Dawgbite

Heisman
Nov 1, 2011
9,527
10,556
113
dave chappelle GIF
 
  • Like
Reactions: GloryDawg
Dec 1, 2025
438
723
93
NFL veteran Matt Kalil, 36, is suing his ex-wife, Haley Kalil, after she made comments about his manhood on a recent livestream that he claims were “invasive” and ruined his chances of staying out of the public eye after his NFL retirement.

Haley made the comments in November on Marlon Garcia’s Mar-Athon livestream, when she described her ex-husband’s manhood as “two Coke cans, maybe even a third,” and said that his penis size was a factor in the couple’s 2022 divorce.

--I mean damn, that is significantly better than her holding up a vienna sausage and wagging it around as descriptor.
To have such an endowment, he sure sounds like a whiny little school in Oxford.

Maybe this is a 3D chess move to amplify his ex-wife’s words so that the women in the back could hear.
 

Jeffreauxdawg

All-American
Dec 15, 2017
8,884
7,957
113
“two Coke cans, maybe even a third,”
It's tricky, but it can be done. The tricky part is actually the exit. I'd probably insert a couple mentos in first and that way when it hits refusal, one of the mentos will push down on that top and shoot down into the can. From there it's just a little chemistry experiment, but they'll blow right back out the ole 2 hole with prejudice is my guess.
 
  • Like
Reactions: grinningmule

randystewart

Junior
Jan 14, 2009
1,197
339
83
NFL veteran Matt Kalil, 36, is suing his ex-wife, Haley Kalil, after she made comments about his manhood on a recent livestream that he claims were “invasive” and ruined his chances of staying out of the public eye after his NFL retirement.

Haley made the comments in November on Marlon Garcia’s Mar-Athon livestream, when she described her ex-husband’s manhood as “two Coke cans, maybe even a third,” and said that his penis size was a factor in the couple’s 2022 divorce.

--I mean damn, that is significantly better than her holding up a vienna sausage and wagging it around as descriptor.
The person I feel sorry for the most in all of this is her new boyfriend
 

TTKADawg

All-Conference
Sep 20, 2024
1,508
1,081
113
If I can get into the public eye as a 3 Coke Can Dick … I mean … why fight that? Even if exaggeration lol. Damn!!
 
Maroon and White

Latest

  1. 01 Maroon and White FAU hiring Mississippi State Deputy AD Josh McCowan
  2. 02 Maroon and White Scouting Ahead: Mizzou QB Austin Simmons
  3. 03 Maroon and White Mississippi State MBK Finalizes 2026-27 Schedule
  4. 04 Maroon and White Mississippi State 2026 Projected Depth Charts: Offensive Line
  5. 05 Maroon and White Scouting Ahead: Mississippi State vs. Mizzou Q&A