Due to my high degree of success romantically, socially and professionally, I often get requests for advice and life tips. Here are some things I do that I encourage you to also begin doing in your own lives. No thanks needed - this is just my way of giving back. Might want to screenshot this:
- To signal my intelligence and education, I’ll often work foreign- mostly Latin - phrasing into my conversations, stuff like “quid pro quo”, “mea culpa” and “carte blanche” in place of more proletarian English phrasing. I also greet and say goodbye to people with “Ciao.”
- Instead of calling someone “close to you” or a “dear friend” refer to your biggest allies as your “ride or die.” Ex. “Oh Bill? Yeah I’ve known him for years. He’s my ride or die.”
- When first dating a young lady, resist the urge to commit. When brought up, simply say, “I don’t like to put labels on things.” Do this for at least a year.
- When interviewing a prospective employee, ALWAYS describe your culture in this manner, “We work hard on this team” - pause three beats - “but we also play hard.” I’ve never had an offer rejected when using this.
- When eating at a Mexican restaurant, whether fluent or not, make sure to use as many spanish words as possible when interacting with your waiter. For instance, I always introduce myself, “Hola, Miguel. Me llamo WCC. Muy bien.” Ir after chips and salsa are brought to the table, “Gracias, Senor. Muy bien.”
- If you really like something- a sports team or player, a musician, whatever- never say you’re a “fan” of them. No, say you “stan” them. Ex. “Oh I stan the Celtics.” You can also say, “I ride for the Celtics.”
- Never say “I’m busy” at work. Go with “I don’t have the bandwidth for this.” I owe my last two promotions to this way of putting things.
- If you have been to an East Coast beach for a summer vacation, make sure to let others know by placing a bumper sticker of that locale on your SUV. For instance, my family has traveled to the Outerbanks in North Carolina and Hilton Head the past few years, so my “whip” (cool way to refer to your car) has an OBX sticker and a South Carolina palmetto tree sticker.
- If you’re successful at ANYTHING, always use the verb “crush” to describe that success. “I crushed that sales call.”
- Constantly brag on the school system in which your house resides. This signals high class.
- At both work and in social settings, when in charge of ordering pizza for a group, no matter if only 10% of the party is vegetarian, make sure to severely overorder cheese and only-veggie pizza.
- Change your work email signature to say “Cheers.”
- This one is probably most important, put up a cheap yardsign prominently in front of your house that demonstrates how welcoming you are to neighbors of different faiths, ethnicities, lifestyles and races than yourself.
