I think this should be a bigger story. I mean, this is unbelievable:
So Mel Kiper Jr. goes through 2-3 full pumpkin pies A WEEK, taking down a monster slice like above every morning and then again at night as a "snack." And that includes 12 of those Reddi-Whip canisters that he goes through, again, every week.
The whole pizza without the cheese but then substituting in mashed potatoes is too much for me to even get to. How is this all even possible? How is he still alive? I normally would be skeptical but Kiper is so idiosyncratic I believe it all.
BTW, as a big NFL Draft nerd, I sort of miss the days when the draft looked like it was just a bunch of shady mobsters smoking stogies and cutting deals in a dimly lit underground bunker. It's amazing how popular it is because at it's core it's still really really nerdy. Thankfully, they've at least moved off of the tragedy-porn of a few years ago. "Yeah Trey, this is a great draft pick for the Lions here. He's a 6'1, 186 lbs. receiver out of Florida State, a redshirt sophomore with a 41" vertical, as a child his uncle touched his butthole, 7 of his 8 TDs last year went for over 30 yards, and despite the fact that everyone he's ever known will be dead someday, as such is the beautiful riddle of life Trey, but he said he's beyond excited to get to Detroit and play with Jared Goff. Back to you!"
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