Guys, I need help

gcb

Junior
May 29, 2001
12,267
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I'm putting together a proposal from Marshall for inclusion into the Big 12.

To wit;

We have a big 28 million dollar budget. On occasion we cannot pay our bills but never mind that.

We have averaged about 25k fans in fb(counting no shows) and averaged about 3,500 for bb games. Oh, by the way, we have never won a NCAA bb game. Again, never mind that.

We will commit to cutting back on the 8-10 prop 48s each year.

It's true that we have been under NCAA scrutiny numerous times over the years but we were innocent.

Finally, don't believe anything put out by WVU because they are skeert to play us

Anyway, please consider us for admission before were are swept up by the SEC, ACC, or the Big Ten.
 

old buzzard

Senior
Dec 30, 2005
6,295
640
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continued from above...

..and don't consider our strength of schedule in football ...well, in forever

https://www.teamrankings.com/college-football/ranking/schedule-strength-by-other

PS. Please disregard our 7-38 record against major opponents. That record is unfairly skewed in an unflattering way and we can provide plenty of excuses why we lost all of those games. Contact banker 6796 for all the details in that regard. Our athletic department is busy preparing our list of demands which you will accept unless you're "skeert" of us. Please give us a call, but don't call collect - due to our unfortunate financial situation these days we could not accept the charges. Don't keep us waiting, we have plenty of invitations from the other P5 conferences and those bill collectors have been turning it up a notch lately.
 
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banker6796

All-Conference
Jan 15, 2007
14,751
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Well, we would have a $60MM budget in the Big 12. I think we'll just wait on the SEC.
 

old buzzard

Senior
Dec 30, 2005
6,295
640
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Well, we would have a $60MM budget in the Big 12. I think we'll just wait on the SEC.

It's more likely that your administrators will tuck their little buffalo tails between their legs and go begging the MAC to take them back. If you're lucky the MAC will forgive and forget, if not - welcome back to 1-AA.