To speak to someone at the “ MSU emotional distress and Internet Persona Suicide Prevention Hotline”. Trained advisors will be available to impart helpful wisdom upon callers such as, “ suck it up buttercup” and “ you don’t know jack ****” Callers will also be treated to an array of uplifting quotes by our head ball coach while waiting for the next available representative. Once every hour one lucky caller will win an all access tour of the team locker room by the assistant janitor including your very on officially licensed team mop which also comes in very handy for cleaning up tears. Don’t wait, call now. You , our fans, emotional well being is very import to us.
PS: Don’t forget to get your donations and pledges in and renew your season tickets. Only you can prevent Forrest fires!
PS: Don’t forget to get your donations and pledges in and renew your season tickets. Only you can prevent Forrest fires!
