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jmc11201

Heisman
Dec 16, 2005
11,753
16,951
113
Considering the robust discussions on a variety of topics, I assume there is a ton of collective wisdom on these boards. With another month until the start of the season, and a few days until camp, I figured I would start a thread where people can share what they have learned over the course of their lives...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I'm late-30s and feel a bit of a mid-life crisis coming on...which prompts my thinking on the topic. I guess thoughts people have on balancing work, family, selfish pursuits, selfless pursuits, looking to remain engaged, etc. What makes you happy, what makes you unhappy? What would you have done more/less of over the course of your life?
 
H

hankee18

All-American
Jan 18, 2006
4,256
7,684
113
I'm going to look each of my boys dead in the eye and ask one question: be honest, would you draft this girl on your fantasy team?
 
RobertG

RobertG

Heisman
Jul 25, 2001
13,293
12,493
113
jmc11201 said:
Considering the robust discussions on a variety of topics, I assume there is a ton of collective wisdom on these boards. With another month until the start of the season, and a few days until camp, I figured I would start a thread where people can share what they have learned over the course of their lives...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I'm late-30s and feel a bit of a mid-life crisis coming on...which prompts my thinking on the topic. I guess thoughts people have on balancing work, family, selfish pursuits, selfless pursuits, looking to remain engaged, etc. What makes you happy, what makes you unhappy? What would you have done more/less of over the course of your life?
Click to expand...

If you have the financial situation that will allow you, find a profession or do something that you want to do and adjust your lifestyle according. Spending 50+ hours a week doing something or working for somebody you don't like really sucks. If I had it to do over again I would have done anything to not have a boss.
 
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R

rutino

Junior
Apr 11, 2011
570
202
0
Count your blessings. I'm not saying not to be objective or realistic - it's just that sometimes we get bogged down with the negatives. If you are unhappy with an aspect of your life take control and come up with a plan to change it. Don't become a victim of inertia.
 
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P

PhilaPhans

All-Conference
Apr 23, 2005
11,665
4,334
0
If you want to go to college, take advantage of as many 100 level courses as you can at the community college level. It's such a waste of time and money at a university. While we're at it, college isn't for everybody. Trade schools are a great way to earn a good living.
 
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C

Crazed_RU

All-Conference
Nov 7, 2006
2,655
3,295
98
Invest as much as you can in experiences and less on physical stuff. I now know I'd rather blow $20K on a great vacation with my family before I'd spend it on new furniture. Your kids will always want to talk about the great times they had and could give an eff about what kind of bedroom furniture they had.

P.S. - this one may be tough to get through the wife. They typically want stuff too.
 
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M

MoobyCow

Heisman
Nov 28, 2001
26,944
26,363
0
Obviously just my opinion but:

Location of where you live is very important, much more important that the size/style of house.
Don't make yourself house poor (and no, you probably don't need to redo the kitchen/bathroom/whatever).
Traveling is awesome, even day trips or short over-nighters improve my outlook greatly.
I disagree with the person who said marriage/kids are overrated. I didn't particularly want either, but I find I am much happier with both.
**** can happen at any time, so don't put off the stuff you really want to do, the places you want to see. Life changes in an instance, and it won't go back to the way it was before.
Lastly, if you have people who cause you constant stress, cut them out.
 
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R

RBS05

All-Conference
Jan 15, 2004
6,059
3,019
113
Every guy at the bar is trying to take down the few 8s or 9s in the place. But you could have a lot of fun nights with a chick with the face of a 6 but the body of a 9, and they come with a much higher success rate.
 
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C

Crazed_RU

All-Conference
Nov 7, 2006
2,655
3,295
98
MoobyCow said:
Obviously just my opinion but:

Location of where you live is very important, much more important that the size/style of house.
Don't make yourself house poor (and no, you probably don't need to redo the kitchen/bathroom/whatever).
Traveling is awesome, even day trips or short over-nighters improve my outlook greatly.
I disagree with the person who said marriage/kids are overrated. I didn't particularly want either, but I find I am much happier with both.
**** can happen at any time, so don't put off the stuff you really want to do, the places you want to see. Life changes in an instance, and it won't go back to the way it was before.
Lastly, if you have people who cause you constant stress, cut them out.
Click to expand...
Couldn't agree more with your last point. We did this about 4 years ago and it dramatically improved our lives.
 
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R

Ruthinking

All-Conference
Aug 7, 2011
2,155
1,974
113
jmc11201 said:
Considering the robust discussions on a variety of topics, I assume there is a ton of collective wisdom on these boards. With another month until the start of the season, and a few days until camp, I figured I would start a thread where people can share what they have learned over the course of their lives...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I'm late-30s and feel a bit of a mid-life crisis coming on...which prompts my thinking on the topic. I guess thoughts people have on balancing work, family, selfish pursuits, selfless pursuits, looking to remain engaged, etc. What makes you happy, what makes you unhappy? What would you have done more/less of over the course of your life?
Click to expand...
I'll share an idea. Start a journal (especially if you have kids). Once a week, or so, jot down small happenings or moments in you life that either made you laugh, think or grow. I started writing about interactions with my kids that I knew would be forgotten in time. These are the very moments that I can look back on now and remember and cherish. Rutgers football made it into the journal a few times also...jumping down on the field after the Louisville game in '06...losing 80-3 to WVU. My boy recently asked about his little league games (he remembered striking out a lot). I was able to look back at his batting average and show him a newspaper picture of him making a play at shortstop for the All-Star team. Mostly its about the kids and family but you can add newspaper clippings or anything that's important to you. I highly recommend it.
 
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B

beaced_rivals

Heisman
Jul 18, 2004
32,005
10,324
113
PhilaPhans said:
If you want to go to college, take advantage of as many 100 level courses as you can at the community college level. It's such a waste of time and money at a university. While we're at it, college isn't for everybody. Trade schools are a great way to earn a good living.
Click to expand...
Add apprenticeships to the trade school skills.
 
B

beaced_rivals

Heisman
Jul 18, 2004
32,005
10,324
113
DJ Spanky said:
Something I knew but has been driven home to me over the past few years: family and health are a couple of the most important things in your life. You take them for granted until they're not there.
Click to expand...
With the Blessings,they will continue to be there for you and yours.
 
R

RUJeffro

Junior
Mar 15, 2007
258
273
45
If you get up in the morning and your whole day is planned, you're completely lost. Allow yourself to go down different paths, more deeply, and see where God is leading you.....appreciate God's creation.
 
E

eddynyse_anon

Junior
Nov 16, 2003
1,007
377
0
Great post!

  1. Keep on learning.
  2. If you happen to find the right person for you, marriage and kids can give you lots of joy!
  3. Find something you are passionate about and do it.
  4. Money isn't everything but is nice to have enough.
 
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A

Abro1975

Heisman
Nov 21, 2009
24,499
12,979
0
1-I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy !

2- I wish I had done more.

3- I don't know what I don't know.

4- Be a parent to your kids, they have enough friends.

5- Don't talk politics or religion in public or even with your friends. You aren't going to change anyone's mind, and most likely you will lose a friend or make an enemy.
 
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L

lilphilw

Senior
Nov 24, 2010
1,411
459
0
The amount of money you make won't make you happy if you have to constantly deal with the stress of the job and have a horrible boss/coworkers. The people you work are the ones who truly make a job great
 
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WhoseBusIsThat?

Junior
Feb 6, 2011
154
241
43
"I have three rules which I live by: Never get less than 12 hours sleep, never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city, and never go near a lady with a tattoo of a dagger on her hand. Now you stick with that, and everything else is cream cheese."
 
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L

LC-88

All-Conference
Apr 24, 2010
7,160
2,795
0
RU Mike73 said:
Grandkids are a gift from God!
Click to expand...
Agree. My advice, have kids in your early/mid twenties. I had my four between 36 and 44. I pray that I get to hold one of my Grand-kids Hard to keep up with my 14 yearold son at 52. If possible, make sure your wife to be makes far more money than you. Then you get to stay home with your kids, and help them grow up. Instead of becoming an ATM machine.
 
M

mildone_rivals

Heisman
Dec 19, 2011
55,607
51,272
0
You could die horribly any minute. So have fun every day. Which leads me to my next bit of advice... Keep well stocked on hookers and blow.
 
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R

RutgersSam

All-Conference
Nov 6, 2004
6,507
1,780
0
Worrying about the past is depression. Worrying about the future is anxiety. Live in the moment and you won't have either.

You're the average of the 5 people you're closest to, so pick your friends wisely.
 
F

FanuSanu52

All-Conference
Nov 8, 2011
11,256
4,618
0
Work to live, not ...

If I had known then, what I know now (chicks want it basically as much as dudes).
 
J

JoeRU0304

Heisman
Nov 9, 2005
106,467
17,995
103
My biggest lessons I've learned?

-Failure is sometimes necessary for healthy growth and change, and you can learn more valuable information from those experiences than your straightforward successes.

-The two 'secrets' to doing well in and graduating college:

1) Go to class, sit in the first 3 rows
2) Take notes

-If you're going to do something half-heartedly, don't do it at all

-(within reason) Don't quit (obviously not talking about bad habits/ vices).

3-5 friends > 200 acquaintances

-Ultimately what your experiences mean and what you do or don't do are all up to you.


Joe P.
 
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