Seismicity Report For The Rodent Game 10-24-2026

[Iron Doc]

Comrades:

Once again, we are providing our best estimate of seismicity risks for the Hawk Nation's next game. I and the staff at our control center located in the trackless wilds of NC Iowa are committed to ensuring your safety. Losing one of the Hawk Devotees due to unforeseen fissures, lahars, thermal pools, etc would be unfortunate.

With that said, our primary focus is fear that the bedrock underlying current Minneapolis-St.Paul could rupture from aftershocks from the Mercalli V scale quake that struck between Minneapolis and Mankato in 1865. This has been on our radar for some time (cringe).

plate-1.pdf

Of lesser concern (currently) is the nonzero chance of bedrock shifting in the general area of Minnesota's Penokean Orogeny. While the Penokean primarily manifests its presence in the Lake Superior region, bedrock dislocations between now and this weekend COULD negatively affect the junction of the Minnesota, St. Croix, and Mississippi rivers (which would be a bad thing).

The Penokean orogeny in the Lake Superior Region | Request PDF

Stay tuned to this thread for any and all updates.

 

[eyesofhawk]

Run it

 

[KuwaitHawk]

There will be seismic activity AFTER the Hawks rock Kinnick North with a win.

 

[WeBeHerkin]

Mississippi River levels?

 

[HoggI74]

I'll take my chances on the earthquakes, however...

Major Diseases Spread by Rodent Droppings

• Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome (HPS): Caused by strains like the Sin Nombre virus (carried by deer mice), contracted by inhaling aerosolized dust from dried urine, droppings, or saliva. It starts with flu-like symptoms (fever, muscle aches, fatigue) and can rapidly progress to severe respiratory failure and fluid buildup in the lungs. [1, 2, 3]
• Salmonellosis: A type of food poisoning contracted when rodent feces contaminate food or kitchen surfaces. Symptoms include severe diarrhea, abdominal pain, and fever. [1, 2]
• Hemorrhagic Fever with Renal Syndrome (HFRS) / Seoul Virus: Spread by Norway rats and other rodents, affecting kidney function and causing fever or internal complications. [1, 2]
• Rat-Bite Fever and Arenaviruses: Bacterial or viral infections transmitted through contact with rodent waste, urine, or bites.

 

[Outbackbowl2017]

There will be seismic activity AFTER the Hawks rock Kinnick North with a win.

Before, during, and after at the Bank where some young lady is gonna get a deposit in one of those restrooms. Talk about seismic activity. If the stall is a rockin, don’t be a knockin

 

[WeBeHerkin]

I'll take my chances on the earthquakes, however...

Major Diseases Spread by Rodent Droppings

• Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome (HPS): Caused by strains like the Sin Nombre virus (carried by deer mice), contracted by inhaling aerosolized dust from dried urine, droppings, or saliva. It starts with flu-like symptoms (fever, muscle aches, fatigue) and can rapidly progress to severe respiratory failure and fluid buildup in the lungs. [1, 2, 3]
• Salmonellosis: A type of food poisoning contracted when rodent feces contaminate food or kitchen surfaces. Symptoms include severe diarrhea, abdominal pain, and fever. [1, 2]
• Hemorrhagic Fever with Renal Syndrome (HFRS) / Seoul Virus: Spread by Norway rats and other rodents, affecting kidney function and causing fever or internal complications. [1, 2]
• Rat-Bite Fever and Arenaviruses: Bacterial or viral infections transmitted through contact with rodent waste, urine, or bites.

Are we including CDC alerts in the discussion now? What’s brewing in the Twin Cities?

 

[Iron Doc]

Mississippi River levels?

dropping

 

[Iron Doc]

I'll take my chances on the earthquakes, however...

Major Diseases Spread by Rodent Droppings

• Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome (HPS): Caused by strains like the Sin Nombre virus (carried by deer mice), contracted by inhaling aerosolized dust from dried urine, droppings, or saliva. It starts with flu-like symptoms (fever, muscle aches, fatigue) and can rapidly progress to severe respiratory failure and fluid buildup in the lungs. [1, 2, 3]
• Salmonellosis: A type of food poisoning contracted when rodent feces contaminate food or kitchen surfaces. Symptoms include severe diarrhea, abdominal pain, and fever. [1, 2]
• Hemorrhagic Fever with Renal Syndrome (HFRS) / Seoul Virus: Spread by Norway rats and other rodents, affecting kidney function and causing fever or internal complications. [1, 2]
• Rat-Bite Fever and Arenaviruses: Bacterial or viral infections transmitted through contact with rodent waste, urine, or bites.

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Repent of your sins before encountering the Rodents, in case you don't make it!

 

[Iron Doc]

Are we including CDC alerts in the discussion now? What’s brewing in the Twin Cities?

CDC alerts are a GOOD thing!
Any such alerts would be appreciated!

 

[Iron Doc]

We have studied the seismicity of the Mississippi/Minnesota/St.Croix river junction in great depth this week.
We have consulted the CalTech, CERI, USGS, Yellowstone, and Caribbean/Gulf of Mexico monitoring sites, among others.
With that said, we are of the opinion that it SHOULD be safe to migrate to/attend/return from our glorious curb stomping of the Rodents.

TO BE SURE, I have talked to Heimdal and asked him (and Odin's ravens) to be on the watch for any impending natural disasters.

SKOL HAWKS!!!

 

[WeBeHerkin]

Anything for Northwestern yet? Will the gales of November remember?

 

[83Hawk]

Current kaiju chances remain low. Some minor concern of Mechagodzilla appearing in the Midwest, which could trigger a reaction from Godzilla.

 

[WeBeHerkin]

Current kaiju chances remain low. Some minor concern of Mechagodzilla appearing in the Midwest, which could trigger a reaction from Godzilla.

Some good old Kaiju GooGoo music

 

[Iron Doc]

Unfortunately, our weekly Seismicity alert series failed to get an adequate Nielsen rating.
For that reason, the staff and I have decided to suspend the seismicity reports indefinitely.
It seems like a safe course of action as Evanston is known for nerds/intellectuals, not fault zones.

 

[WeBeHerkin]

Unfortunately, our weekly Seismicity alert series failed to get an adequate Nielsen rating.
For that reason, the staff and I have decided to suspend the seismicity reports indefinitely.
It seems like a safe course of action as Evanston is known for nerds/intellectuals, not fault zones.

Bad ju ju ensuing.

 

[Iron Doc]

Bad ju ju ensuing.

I KNOW!!!!!!!!! It was a risk we felt we had to take.

(afraid what will happen when Papa Shango finds out)