There are now roughly 30.4 million unmarried American men between the ages of 20 and 39

[Penn State Pigskin 2025]

Twice As Many Men Are Single Than Married Today. Are Women To Blame?

Young men look at dating culture and see women who are prepared to choose husbands but less prepared to become wives.

thefederalist.com

 

[NoBareFeet]

Lucky bastards

 

[fairgambit]

Twice As Many Men Are Single Than Married Today. Are Women To Blame?

Young men look at dating culture and see women who are prepared to choose husbands but less prepared to become wives.

thefederalist.com

I am shocked by those numbers. Perhaps I shouldn't be. I read the article but I want to take time to think about it before commenting. For now I will just say that I have been happily married to my high school sweetheart for over 50 years and have never regretted the decision.

 

[Penn State Pigskin 2025]

I am shocked by those numbers. Perhaps I shouldn't be. I read the article but I want to take time to think about it before commenting. For now I will just say that I have been happily married to my high school sweetheart for over 50 years and have never regretted the decision.

I shared that article with my network men and women and have received numerous responses from men in particular saying that the article is correct. One friend responded that the article is 1,000% correct

 

[Chumboshifko1]

What are they doing?

 

[Catch1lion]

What are they doing?

 

[PSUFTG]

Gosh, I wonder why?

 

[Ram20]

This is an existential problem for our country/civilization and it's reflected in our birth rates. I've read a lot about this and its hard to pinpoint what is responsible. I think it is tied to quite a few factors that have produced this:

• Women are now more educated then men and for all the talk about equality, it is an absolute FACT that women do not care to "marry down" as in a man less educated earning a lower salary. The pool of "acceptable" men has therefore dwindled.
• Naturally this would be an outgrowth of feminist culture, "You don't need a man, you can just work at citibank and take care of yourself"
• Isolated men, playing the victim card and languishing at home and lacking ambition and adventure.
• An economy that makes marriage seem less and less attainable, steady income, housing affordability, etc.
• Social media and dating apps have produced a culture of young people that don't really know how to interact interpersonally or date. Young people aren't even having sex anymore.
• Politically, women and men have never been so far apart, I have to think that contributes.

I'm sure there are many more reasons.

 

[Bison13]

This is an existential problem for our country/civilization and it's reflected in our birth rates. I've read a lot about this and its hard to pinpoint what is responsible. I think it is tied to quite a few factors that have produced this:

• Women are now more educated then men and for all the talk about equality, it is an absolute FACT that women do not care to "marry down" as in a man less educated earning a lower salary. The pool of "acceptable" men has therefore dwindled.
• Naturally this would be an outgrowth of feminist culture, "You don't need a man, you can just work at citibank and take care of yourself"
• Isolated men, playing the victim card and languishing at home and lacking ambition and adventure.
• An economy that makes marriage seem less and less attainable, steady income, housing affordability, etc.
• Social media and dating apps have produced a culture of young people that don't really know how to interact interpersonally or date. Young people aren't even having sex anymore.
• Politically, women and men have never been so far apart, I have to think that contributes.

I'm sure there are many more reasons.

I dont know if its a fact that women dont marry down as you said, but I would say that for a high % of them it is their thought process. My sister married a man who made less than her with less 'education' but he owns a dairy farm, can weld, fix all their cars and any home handywork that needs done. He's probably smarter than most with a BA or BS but I get that the idea of you not having a degree vs having a masters in literature makes someone 'think' they are smarter.

All of your points are pretty good, though I tell young kids that if they get married early they can start being 'DINKs' and thus get to the major purchases of a house and having kids faster.

 

[Midnighter]

Just checked - about 7mm unmarried Japanese women in the same age group. What are you waiting for fellas???

 

[Midnighter]

This is an existential problem for our country/civilization and it's reflected in our birth rates. I've read a lot about this and its hard to pinpoint what is responsible. I think it is tied to quite a few factors that have produced this:

• Women are now more educated then men and for all the talk about equality, it is an absolute FACT that women do not care to "marry down" as in a man less educated earning a lower salary. The pool of "acceptable" men has therefore dwindled.
• Naturally this would be an outgrowth of feminist culture, "You don't need a man, you can just work at citibank and take care of yourself"
• Isolated men, playing the victim card and languishing at home and lacking ambition and adventure.
• An economy that makes marriage seem less and less attainable, steady income, housing affordability, etc.
• Social media and dating apps have produced a culture of young people that don't really know how to interact interpersonally or date. Young people aren't even having sex anymore.
• Politically, women and men have never been so far apart, I have to think that contributes.

I'm sure there are many more reasons.

It's a big problem globally I think; marriage is down about 7% from prime age groups in 1970. It's a huge problem in Japan. I think 1 in 4 men and 1 in 7 women remain unmarried through age 50. They do not have a lot of 'out of marriage' births so they have low almost negative birth rate. I think overall, it's so much more expensive to get married, have kids, buy a home, etc. than it used to be and there are more distractions now than ever. I think disinterest in sex is also at an all time high. No idea why - since I've been 10 and saw boobs on Caddyshack it's all I've thought about (well, not all - but a lot...).

 

[Midnighter]

This is an existential problem for our country/civilization and it's reflected in our birth rates. I've read a lot about this and its hard to pinpoint what is responsible. I think it is tied to quite a few factors that have produced this:

• Women are now more educated then men and for all the talk about equality, it is an absolute FACT that women do not care to "marry down" as in a man less educated earning a lower salary. The pool of "acceptable" men has therefore dwindled.
• Naturally this would be an outgrowth of feminist culture, "You don't need a man, you can just work at citibank and take care of yourself"
• Isolated men, playing the victim card and languishing at home and lacking ambition and adventure.
• An economy that makes marriage seem less and less attainable, steady income, housing affordability, etc.
• Social media and dating apps have produced a culture of young people that don't really know how to interact interpersonally or date. Young people aren't even having sex anymore.
• Politically, women and men have never been so far apart, I have to think that contributes.

I'm sure there are many more reasons.

Women don't marry down? Have you ever been to the South?

 

[Ram20]

I dont know if its a fact that women dont marry down as you said, but I would say that for a high % of them it is their thought process. My sister married a man who made less than her with less 'education' but he owns a dairy farm, can weld, fix all their cars and any home handywork that needs done. He's probably smarter than most with a BA or BS but I get that the idea of you not having a degree vs having a masters in literature makes someone 'think' they are smarter.

All of your points are pretty good, though I tell young kids that if they get married early they can start being 'DINKs' and this get to the major purchases of a house and having kids faster.

So, just looking at one study....the "Intersexual and Intrasexual Differences in Mate Selection Preferences" published in 2023 polled 21, 245 ONLINE daters that were single. The findings: Percentage of Heterosexual Women that could imagine marrying a man who earn less was 37.9%, men asked the same question, 91% of all men. Lower education- 43% of women would consider marrying a man as such and 87.4% of men. Just one poll, I am sure there are others to support it.

 

[Catch1lion]

Just checked - about 7mm unmarried Japanese women in the same age group. What are you waiting for fellas???

I think they already are Turning Japanese, I really think so.

 

[Midnighter]

I think they already are Turning Japanese, I really think so.

 

[Ram20]

Women don't marry down? Have you ever been to the South?

Fair point.

 

[Midnighter]

Fair point.

I'll add they only 'marry down' looks-wise, and then, *only* if the male is also from the South. He likely has a good job and will reliably provide (probably will work for her *diddy* and is mostly a lap dog otherwise). And also likely cheats on her on work trips. And is firmly a tuck-in polo with khaki shorts and decent loafers outfit guy. Most likely college logo on his polo (Clemson a big one).

 

[Midnighter]

So, just looking at one study....the "Intersexual and Intrasexual Differences in Mate Selection Preferences" published in 2023 polled 21, 245 ONLINE daters that were single. The findings: Percentage of Heterosexual Women that could imagine marrying a man who earn less was 37.9%, men asked the same question, 91% of all men. Lower education- 43% of women would consider marrying a man as such and 87.4% of men. Just one poll, I am sure there are others to support it.

Anecdotally, I had a male colleague a few years ago (solid college degree, Ivy League grad school) who was about early-mid 30's and into fitted clothes (though not necessarily bespoke), drove a BMW, and owned his own place (townhome). Hobbies were high end liquors, travel, and cooking. His sister, at the time, was a ballerina instructor. He dated on apps a bunch but nothing stuck. He was 'okay' looks wise but not ugly or anything. One of my wife's younger single colleagues (who made a six figure income and lived in Manhattan) came to DC a good bit and I asked if she might be interested in a date with him, and I showed her a picture and gave his details and she said 'sure' without hesitation. Once I had her approval, I asked him if he'd be interested in a date with her and he said 'she's too brown'. And yes, she is Indian by way of South Africa, but an easy 8 looks-wise compared to his 5-6. So, never happened. She ended up marrying a lawyer and lives on the UES of Manhattan and decks their beautiful kid out in designer clothes and he still vacations with his Mom and Sister (he wouldn't entertain dating a ballerina - they don't make enough money) and is single into his mid-40's. Welp.

 

[psuro]

What are they doing?

Posting their thoughts on this board.

 

[Ram20]

Anecdotally, I had a male colleague a few years ago (solid college degree, Ivy League grad school) who was about early-mid 30's and into fitted clothes (though not necessarily bespoke), drove a BMW, and owned his own place (townhome). Hobbies were high end liquors, travel, and cooking. His sister, at the time, was a ballerina instructor. He dated on apps a bunch but nothing stuck. He was 'okay' looks wise but not ugly or anything. One of my wife's younger single colleagues (who made a six figure income and lived in Manhattan) came to DC a good bit and I asked if she might be interested in a date with him, and I showed her a picture and gave his details and she said 'sure' without hesitation. Once I had her approval, I asked him if he'd be interested in a date with her and he said 'she's too brown'. And yes, she is Indian by way of South Africa, but an easy 8 looks-wise compared to his 5-6. So, never happened. She ended up marrying a lawyer and lives on the UES of Manhattan and decks their beautiful kid out in designer clothes and he still vacations with his Mom and Sister (he wouldn't entertain dating a ballerina - they don't make enough money) and is single into his mid-40's. Welp.

Yeah, men can be overly picky too....I have a friend that is good looking and mega successful, he dates the most beautiful women the world has to offer and then throws them away after a few months. He's now 43 with no prospects of family/kids. I want's making the point that this only goes in one direction, just that factually, women are shrinking their respective dating nets smaller and smaller. "He needs to make $300K minimum, can't be under 6', athletic, etc." I think its one of the reason these women, who mind you support themselves and are "successful" get sort of aged out of dating then marriage then kids. We've told our daughters for years "Only the best for my little princess" and they oftentimes end up with nothing.

 

[Midnighter]

Yeah, men can be overly picky too....I have a friend that is good looking and mega successful, he dates the most beautiful women the world has to offer and then throws them away after a few months. He's now 43 with no prospects of family/kids. I want's making the point that this only goes in one direction, just that factually, women are shrinking their respective dating nets smaller and smaller. "He needs to make $300K minimum, can't be under 6', athletic, etc." I think its one of the reason these women, who mind you support themselves and are "successful" get sort of aged out of dating then marriage then kids. We've told our daughters for years "Only the best for my little princess" and they oftentimes end up with nothing.

Sounds like he’s ’Clooney-ing’ things which is an option for men if you are good looking enough and make enough money. Women don’t have that luxury for many reasons including biological. I just couldn’t believe the audacity of a single dude wanting a family to not even show up for a ‘date’ because of her skin color (which is like olive oil via Tuscan Italians). Total dumbshit.

 

[Dixi]

This is an existential problem for our country/civilization and it's reflected in our birth rates.

LOL. Okay. Demographic transition = "existential problem for our country/civilization". I see where you're going with that.

 

[Mile High Lion]

Twice As Many Men Are Single Than Married Today. Are Women To Blame?

Young men look at dating culture and see women who are prepared to choose husbands but less prepared to become wives.

thefederalist.com

This would be an appropriate time to reexamine the hot/crazy matrix and especially pay attention to the last minute discussing the women's matrix. Also note we are seeing the phenomenon where for the first time in American history the current generation is doing worse than their parents. There are many theories why, young men aren't as prepared for the workforce, not as much opportunity as in the past. I won't open that can of worms.

 

[Dixi]

Hot crazy matrix notwithstanding, the U.S. population is still growing. Births still outpace deaths. At the current birth rate we're centuries away from any "existential threat" to our existence. That's the reality.

 

[Erial_Lion]

This is an existential problem for our country/civilization and it's reflected in our birth rates. I've read a lot about this and its hard to pinpoint what is responsible. I think it is tied to quite a few factors that have produced this:

• Women are now more educated then men and for all the talk about equality, it is an absolute FACT that women do not care to "marry down" as in a man less educated earning a lower salary. The pool of "acceptable" men has therefore dwindled.
• Naturally this would be an outgrowth of feminist culture, "You don't need a man, you can just work at citibank and take care of yourself"
• Isolated men, playing the victim card and languishing at home and lacking ambition and adventure.
• An economy that makes marriage seem less and less attainable, steady income, housing affordability, etc.
• Social media and dating apps have produced a culture of young people that don't really know how to interact interpersonally or date. Young people aren't even having sex anymore.
• Politically, women and men have never been so far apart, I have to think that contributes.

I'm sure there are many more reasons.

The easiest explanation to the initial stat...people get married at an older age today than we used to; thus naturally, there would be more people single in their 20s/30s.

And I'd see that as a big positive, not a negative.

 

[Penn State Pigskin 2025]

This would be an appropriate time to reexamine the hot/crazy matrix and especially pay attention to the last minute discussing the women's matrix. Also note we are seeing the phenomenon where for the first time in American history the current generation is doing worse than their parents. There are many theories why, young men aren't as prepared for the workforce, not as much opportunity as in the past. I won't open that can of worms.

I could give numerous examples of where young men aren’t getting the attention they deserve in public education settings with others being put before them including illegals. I could give numerous examples of where young men aren’t getting math and science education in some K-12 settings for the same reasons I mentioned above plus the fact most K-12 teachers are women who themselves aren’t proficient in math and science yet they are given the task of teaching it. College admissions officials are primarily women as are HR departments in corporate America are primarily women.

Here’s another factor discouraging young men in K-12

https://dailycaller.com/2023/07/17/school-advanced-math-classes-equity/

 

[Midnighter]

I could give numerous examples of where young men aren’t getting the attention they deserve in public education settings with others being put before them including illegals. I could give numerous examples of where young men aren’t getting math and science education in some K-12 settings for the same reasons I mentioned above plus the fact most K-12 teachers are women who themselves aren’t proficient in math and science yet they are given the task of teaching it. College admissions officials are primarily women as are HR departments in corporate America are primarily women.

Here’s another factor discouraging young men in K-12

https://dailycaller.com/2023/07/17/school-advanced-math-classes-equity/

Would honestly love to read whatever information you have on this. Also wondering how this plays into the marriage topic at hand.

 

[WillyMO]

Just checked - about 7mm unmarried Japanese women in the same age group. What are you waiting for fellas???

There's a growing segment of the Western population of younger men called "Passport Bro's" who've given up on Western women and travel primarily to Asian countries looking for women/wife. Somehow the Reddit page ended up in my feed and the posts are interesting to read. Apparently the dating is 1000% easier there especially if you're white and not horrible looking. Guy's who can't find a date on a dating app are getting dozens of dates lined up before setting foot in country. Obviously women looking for financial security in poor countries but that's a win/win for some.

 

[Midnighter]

There's a growing segment of the Western population of younger men called "Passport Bro's" who've given up on Western women and travel primarily to Asian countries looking for women/wife. Somehow the Reddit page ended up in my feed and the posts are interesting to read. Apparently the dating is 1000% easier there especially if you're white and not horrible looking. Guy's who can't find a date on a dating app are getting dozens of dates lined up before setting foot in country. Obviously women looking for financial security in poor countries but that's a win/win for some.

Indeed. I don't know if this is the case in Japan (most women there tend to prefer Japanese men if any), but point is well taken. I know at least three older family members in Western PA who have traveled to the Philippines to meet women they connected with on Facebook. One (who was in his 60's) had a kid with a woman, and the two others, while not really married or dating, are supporting women with families financially (they hope to one day marry/live together...). It's odd. My one uncle, in his 70's, was on Facebook being catfished by what he thought was an Instagram model just days after his wife unexpectedly died. These guys aren't the brightest and/or most high-character guys you'll ever meet to be sure. And I know quite few 'good, nice, fairly well to do' guys who are average looking but have high 8-10 foreign girlfriends/wives (mostly Chinese). Don't blame them for looking elsewhere; someone mentioned women's standards have gotten out control (note the song 'Looking for a Man in Finance' was a hit a couple years ago; lyrics are 'Looking for a man in finance, 6'5", trust fund, blue eyes....' and that is it) and they have thanks to TikTok and YouTube.

 

[laKavosiey-st lion]

There’s tons of dating content on reels. It’s a complete cluster F out there. 1 is following 2 prob getting engaged this fall. They are building a ring as we speak. So 2 for 2 sons for the rick and M

 

[psuro]

I blame Jay.

 

[NEPA Lion]

Jersey Girls

 

[KingLando]

Women don't marry down? Have you ever been to the South?

$$$$ typically

 

[NoBareFeet]

since I've been 10 and saw boobs on Caddyshack it's all I've thought about (well, not all - but a lot...).

Lacy had nice ones.

 

[KingLando]

I am shocked by those numbers. Perhaps I shouldn't be. I read the article but I want to take time to think about it before commenting. For now I will just say that I have been happily married to my high school sweetheart for over 50 years and have never regretted the decision.

I got married right after college...most of our friends didn't get married until their late 20s or have kids to their early 30s...that was a long time ago and you can basically push those ages back 5 years now.
I wouldn't change anything but a lot of people who waited are also glad they did. No right or wrong...just timing is different.
It does feel like women are being convinced not to get married now so we'll see how these numbers change over the next 5 years or so

 

[Shepdogg]

Take my wife please!

 

[Lion84]

Why buy the cow when the milk is free - a sexist would say.

 

[PSU Mike]

Anecdotally, I had a male colleague a few years ago (solid college degree, Ivy League grad school) who was about early-mid 30's and into fitted clothes (though not necessarily bespoke), drove a BMW, and owned his own place (townhome). Hobbies were high end liquors, travel, and cooking. His sister, at the time, was a ballerina instructor. He dated on apps a bunch but nothing stuck. He was 'okay' looks wise but not ugly or anything. One of my wife's younger single colleagues (who made a six figure income and lived in Manhattan) came to DC a good bit and I asked if she might be interested in a date with him, and I showed her a picture and gave his details and she said 'sure' without hesitation. Once I had her approval, I asked him if he'd be interested in a date with her and he said 'she's too brown'. And yes, she is Indian by way of South Africa, but an easy 8 looks-wise compared to his 5-6. So, never happened. She ended up marrying a lawyer and lives on the UES of Manhattan and decks their beautiful kid out in designer clothes and he still vacations with his Mom and Sister (he wouldn't entertain dating a ballerina - they don't make enough money) and is single into his mid-40's. Welp.

C’mon you knew where to find me …

 

[KingLando]

Why buy the cow when the milk is free - a sexist would say.

What if the cow likes giving away the milk and doesn't want to be bought but the milker wants to buy a cow?
Probably overcomplicated that lol

 

[PSU Mike]

Given the traffic on various degrees of porn sites and apps, I think people are just more comfortable taking matters into their own hands and avoiding the expense and hassle of a face-to-face partner