How would you handle this situation?

[alaskanseminole]

Last year I posted about an issue with my neighbor, Carlos, over soccer balls going into his backyard.

At the time, he absolutely had a legitimate gripe. My son was practicing soccer in our backyard, and despite me building a 10x10 net attached to the fence, balls were still getting over. I didnt realize how often it was happening but apparently it was a lot (and some of Carlos' flower pots had gotten knocked over). Instead of talking to me first, he called the HOA, and when we finally did talk, it turned into a shouting match. (good times!)

After that, I put turf in the backyard, bought a smaller 4-foot goal that faces away from his yard, and made it clear nobody is to kick toward his fence--like EVER! It worked for about two months...zero balls have gone over.

Then this weekend my son's friend ignored me and kicked TWO dadgum balls over and last night my son kicked one over. I made him go knock on Carlos's door, apologize and ask for his ball. Let's just say Carlos wasn't exactly warm about it, but the situation was handled the way we agreed upon. (I swear he hates kids)

Today that same friend was back and started kicking in that direction again....obviously I can't kill the kid and I want the boys outside playing not on the screen. So, here's my issue....I feel like I live in fear of a soccer ball clearing the fence. I'm trying to be respectful, but I'm also not going to tell my son he can't play soccer in his own backyard. It's one of the few things that gets him outside instead of staring at a screen.

So what's the reasonable expectation here? I get 6+ balls every other day is ridiculous, but 1 or 2 here or there w/ no property damage shouldn't be unreasonable, should it? I hate subdivisions. Wish we had property like what I grew up with.

----
Neighor on the other side? Couldn't care less. He has two daughters always knocking wiffle balls over our side, we just toss 'em back provided Bodhi doen'st eat them first. LOL

 

[RollingballofButcherKnives]

Tell your kid’s friend if he kicks the ball over to Carlos’ yard you will kick his a$$.

 

[JMNSH0]

Let Carlos kick your *** and then take his home in court. It's called flopping, I hear it is a good soccer strategy.

 

[WDDT]

If the young man is going to be at your home he needs to respect your rules. You are giving him 270 degrees he CAN kick the ball.



Carlos is a ***** and needs to be told so.


And if you son gets pissed his buddy has to go home tell him his friend sucks at soccer and he doesnt need to hang out with kids who cant keep it on net.

There is plenty of time for hanging out with guys who spend more time shagging balls than find corners WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!

 

[LunchBox50]

If it worked for two months, that shows it can work. Sounds like the friend is a sh#thead and a bad influence on this subject.

Carlos also sucks major azz and needs to quit being a loser.

 

[Fac]

We had a older neighbor that moved into the house next door when we kids at the age of playing everything outside with the whole neighborhood.
We always played in our back yard. It wasn't uncommon for us to have over 10-15 kids in the yard at any time. He worked nights and wanted to sleep during the day. He would call the police when we into his yard to retrieve wiffle and kick balls. Our parents told us not to go into his yard. We didn't and he would garnish the balls. We would just buy more.
At Halloween one year he gave us back 3 paper grocery bags filled the balls. We still soaped his windows like crazy that year.

 

[OnlyTheObscure]

No playing ball out side the house.

the reverse Carol Brady.

 

[WDDT]

Also... op has neighbors.... poor people talk...

 

[scotchtiger]

Carlos is a bit of a ***** it seems. He needs to get over himself. It's kids playing soccer. As long as nothing is broken, he should just chip the ball back over the fence or not give a **** if your kids walk around to get it.

 

[noleclone2]

Have him take up golf. Carlos will be thrilled when he goes back to soccer.

 

[AFM22]

Make the friend go knock on his door every time he kicks the ball over the fence.

 

[AFM22]

Carlos is a bit of a ***** it seems. He needs to get over himself. It's kids playing soccer. As long as nothing is broken, he should just chip the ball back over the fence or not give a **** if your kids walk around to get it.

He does seem like a grouch but its also his yard. He has a right to enjoy his space without balls flying into it and knocking shid over everywhere.

If the kids have to deal with this angry old man enough times, they'll get the hint to kick the ball in a different direction.

 

[Meatball Sandwich]

Get your kid a drum set

 

[JMNSH0]

Make the friend go knock on his door every time he kicks the ball over the fence.

This is the real answer.

 

[AFM22]

Get your kid a drum set

So my neighbors kid was in band. He played trumpet, and likely some other horns. 4 years ago he fuggan sucked. I hated it. But over the last couple years, he's become very good. Sometimes I'll be sitting out in the garden, doing some chores or just enjoying the weather and he'll start playing, and it's actually kind of nice.

He just graduated high school and he'll be going off to college, so I doubt I will be hearing much of it anymore.

 

[tarheelbybirth1]

 

[GesterHawk]

With guns ablazing....

 

[jimneffer]

Last year I posted about an issue with my neighbor, Carlos, over soccer balls going into his backyard.

At the time, he absolutely had a legitimate gripe. My son was practicing soccer in our backyard, and despite me building a 10x10 net attached to the fence, balls were still getting over. I didnt realize how often it was happening but apparently it was a lot (and some of Carlos' flower pots had gotten knocked over). Instead of talking to me first, he called the HOA, and when we finally did talk, it turned into a shouting match. (good times!)

After that, I put turf in the backyard, bought a smaller 4-foot goal that faces away from his yard, and made it clear nobody is to kick toward his fence--like EVER! It worked for about two months...zero balls have gone over.

Then this weekend my son's friend ignored me and kicked TWO dadgum balls over and last night my son kicked one over. I made him go knock on Carlos's door, apologize and ask for his ball. Let's just say Carlos wasn't exactly warm about it, but the situation was handled the way we agreed upon. (I swear he hates kids)

Today that same friend was back and started kicking in that direction again....obviously I can't kill the kid and I want the boys outside playing not on the screen. So, here's my issue....I feel like I live in fear of a soccer ball clearing the fence. I'm trying to be respectful, but I'm also not going to tell my son he can't play soccer in his own backyard. It's one of the few things that gets him outside instead of staring at a screen.

So what's the reasonable expectation here? I get 6+ balls every other day is ridiculous, but 1 or 2 here or there w/ no property damage shouldn't be unreasonable, should it? I hate subdivisions. Wish we had property like what I grew up with.

----
Neighor on the other side? Couldn't care less. He has two daughters always knocking wiffle balls over our side, we just toss 'em back provided Bodhi doen'st eat them first. LOL

honestly...i just wouldn't really care how that guy reacted at this point. he seems like a generally unpleasant, unreasonable guy...so f him. doesn't seem like there's any kind of relationship you need to maintain

what's the action the HOA can take?

 

[Tenacious E_rivals41982]

Last year I posted about an issue with my neighbor, Carlos, over soccer balls going into his backyard.

At the time, he absolutely had a legitimate gripe. My son was practicing soccer in our backyard, and despite me building a 10x10 net attached to the fence, balls were still getting over. I didnt realize how often it was happening but apparently it was a lot (and some of Carlos' flower pots had gotten knocked over). Instead of talking to me first, he called the HOA, and when we finally did talk, it turned into a shouting match. (good times!)

After that, I put turf in the backyard, bought a smaller 4-foot goal that faces away from his yard, and made it clear nobody is to kick toward his fence--like EVER! It worked for about two months...zero balls have gone over.

Then this weekend my son's friend ignored me and kicked TWO dadgum balls over and last night my son kicked one over. I made him go knock on Carlos's door, apologize and ask for his ball. Let's just say Carlos wasn't exactly warm about it, but the situation was handled the way we agreed upon. (I swear he hates kids)

Today that same friend was back and started kicking in that direction again....obviously I can't kill the kid and I want the boys outside playing not on the screen. So, here's my issue....I feel like I live in fear of a soccer ball clearing the fence. I'm trying to be respectful, but I'm also not going to tell my son he can't play soccer in his own backyard. It's one of the few things that gets him outside instead of staring at a screen.

So what's the reasonable expectation here? I get 6+ balls every other day is ridiculous, but 1 or 2 here or there w/ no property damage shouldn't be unreasonable, should it? I hate subdivisions. Wish we had property like what I grew up with.

----
Neighor on the other side? Couldn't care less. He has two daughters always knocking wiffle balls over our side, we just toss 'em back provided Bodhi doen'st eat them first. LOL

Firstly, your neighbor is a douche. But it is what it is. When my son was younger and we were doing a lot of throwing and hitting into a net, there would be errant balls at times. We had a neighbor who was pretty cool about throwing balls back over the fence into our yard. But if it is soccer, can't you just set the net against your house so that errant balls bounce off your walls and don't go over a fence? I would suspect there is a school or park nearby which they could use too.

 

[Tenacious E_rivals41982]

If the young man is going to be at your home he needs to respect your rules. You are giving him 270 degrees he CAN kick the ball.



Carlos is a ***** and needs to be told so.


And if you son gets pissed his buddy has to go home tell him his friend sucks at soccer and he doesnt need to hang out with kids who cant keep it on net.

There is plenty of time for hanging out with guys who spend more time shagging balls than find corners WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!

solid post.

 

[RockyMtNole]

“Carlos” sounds like he might be an illegal from an insane asylum. Call ICE and let them sort it out.

 

[ThorneStockton]

Can you get a obscenely large net like they have at top golf? Something that might annoy Carlos even more than the occasional errant soccer ball?

Something passive aggressive for sure.

 

[Outbackbowl2017]

How does a guy named Carlos hate soccer and kids playing the game? Invite him over and ask him if he teaches soccer so he can work with the kids. Then have a cerveza with him while talking about soccer or any other topic he likes to talk about. Maybe break bread with the guy if you can become friends and not just neighbors.

 

[Tenacious E_rivals41982]

Can you get a obscenely large net like they have at top golf? Something that might annoy Carlos even more than the occasional errant soccer ball?

Something passive aggressive for sure.

I like it, but I'm sure the HOA has rules against something like that.

 

[GesterHawk]

Can you get a obscenely large net like they have at top golf? Something that might annoy Carlos even more than the occasional errant soccer ball?

Something passive aggressive for sure.

If is the Midwest, passive aggression is a given.
But the rest of the country, aggressive aggression is the way to go.

 

[BelemNole]

Easy, your kid's friend isn't allowed to play soccer out back anymore.

 

[Gibbs_dontbanmetom]

I can see both sides of the story for Carlos. It’s annoying if you have to tell someone over and over again not to do something especially if they are damaging your property. However he could have been a man and talked about it first and also understand kids are being kids.
As for your son’s kid, if he does it again. I’d kick a ball right at him as hard as you can and tell him to fuggin listen.

 

[GesterHawk]

Easy, your kid's friend isn't allowed to play soccer out back anymore.

This. Buy an old Jarts set for them to play with.

 

[alaskanseminole]

If it worked for two months, that shows it can work. Sounds like the friend is a sh#thead and a bad influence on this subject.

Carlos also sucks major azz and needs to quit being a loser.

Yes. Two things are certainly true. He's one of my son's oldest friends, and the one who likes to do things other than video screens the most. That said, I literally just walked out there as he was pounding the ball in Carlos's direction. I'm like, DUDE! WTH!!?!?

 

[Ghee Buttersnaps 2]

Have him take up golf. Carlos will be thrilled when he goes back to soccer.

Either that or alaska guy needs to slice some tires.

 

[alaskanseminole]

Make the friend go knock on his door every time he kicks the ball over the fence.

I just told him, "JACOB! I swear if you kick a ball over that fence again, you're going next door to explain it to Mr. Carlos. If that doesn't work, your mom can go with you."

Seriously, I hate that we have a grumpy a$$ neighbor, but Jacob's going to ruin the "every now and again isn't an issue" for my son who's been doing great. Le sigh.

 

[NDallasRuss]

Easy, your kid's friend isn't allowed to play soccer out back anymore.

I agree with this. If your son has the friend over and they want to play soccer, take them somewhere that they can play without worrying about it - there's got to be some youth soccer fields near-by. Better yet, have them ride their bikes somewhere to play soccer.

I'm sure Carlos is unpleasant, but I do see how it could get annoying that he tried to work through the HOA, you both have talked about it, there was an agreed upon resolution, but still there are balls going into his backyard. He doesn't need to differentiate between it being your kid who's trying to be considerate, and some random jagass kid who's not being respectful. The end result is the same to him.

 

[alaskanseminole]

Get your kid a drum set

He's got one. And a keyboard, miramba (sp), trumpet, etc. He's in band and plays soccer.

 

[alaskanseminole]

honestly...i just wouldn't really care how that guy reacted at this point. he seems like a generally unpleasant, unreasonable guy...so f him. doesn't seem like there's any kind of relationship you need to maintain

Ya, I just hate being at odds with people, especially neighbors. He used to be a decent guy, but since his wife took ill, he's been a real butt--understandable so, to some extent. Really trying to be a good neighbor, but he doesn't make it easy.

what's the action the HOA can take?

Not much, I'd assume. I'm good friends with all the board members, so there's that.

 

[jimneffer]

Ya, I just hate being at odds with people, especially neighbors. He used to be a decent guy, but since his wife took ill, he's been a real butt--understandable so, to some extent. Really trying to be a good neighbor, but he doesn't make it easy.

Not much, I'd assume. I'm good friends with all the board members, so there's that.

say sorry and buy him a six pack if you want, i guess

if he's going to get jacked up over something pretty trivial and after you've obviously tried to stop it, i personally wouldn't really care about his reaction

 

[alaskanseminole]

...set the net against your house so that errant balls bounce off your walls and don't go over a fence?

Nope. We have a butt ton of trees and the sides of the house don't give enough room. It's a great yard for two retirees to enjoy ambiance, trees, giant patio, etc. TERRIBLE for a 13 year old playing soccer--we weren't thinking when we built it. He was 6 months old.

I would suspect there is a school or park nearby which they could use too.

The park at the corner is a mulch play ground. School is a bit of a walk, but he'll do it in Spring and Fall (when it's not 105 degrees). He likes the turf stretch we put down and it's 90% shaded from our trees. This is facing away from Carlos's...towards the cool neighbors yard.

 

[AFM22]

I just told him, "JACOB! I swear if you kick a ball over that fence again, you're going next door to explain it to Mr. Carlos. If that doesn't work, your mom can go with you."

Seriously, I hate that we have a grumpy a$$ neighbor, but Jacob's going to ruin the "every now and again isn't an issue" for my son who's been doing great. Le sigh.

How old is the kid?

I get the neighbor sucks but like I said earlier, he has a right to enjoy his private space without his stuff being damaged by soccer balls. You've done what you can do, and your son seems to be responding, but it seems like the friends has 3 options: 1. He owns up to it and he goes and gets the ball, 2. Wait for the ball to come back, and go find something else to do. 3. Find somewhere else to play soccer since they can't seem to figure out how to do it in your backyard.

I bet after a few times being yelled at by this guy your son's friend will maybe think twice about which way he's kicking the ball.

 

[alaskanseminole]

Can you get a obscenely large net like they have at top golf? Something that might annoy Carlos even more than the occasional errant soccer ball?

Something passive aggressive for sure.

I put up two 10x10 golf nets framed out in white PVC and screwed it into the fence. Over time, the balls started knocking boards loose. Carlos fixed it by putting 4" screws through a 2" board. Ya, popped a few balls. Fun times.

I grew up on 3 acres. I didn't have to deal with this crap growing up.

 

[alaskanseminole]

Easy, your kid's friend isn't allowed to play soccer out back anymore.

That's what I said. Wife said, NOPE! They're not going to sit up stairs on their iPads all day. Figure it out.

 

[alaskanseminole]

say sorry and buy him a six pack if you want, i guess

I like that idea. The next time one goes over, I'll have my son trade him a six pack for his ball back.