…can we have it somewhere nice? Myrtle Beach or Charleston? Although that would give the Iowans an advantage. All that sunscreen would make them slippery.
If we do fight bar between the Clemson and Iowa folks…
- Thread starter Yellowsnow51
- Start date
Speaking for the entire town of Ottumwa, we would like to provide a free of charge hosting place for this activity. As far as the actual fight you can count me out. THE_DEVIL is a lover and not a fighter.
I've heard regarding the nice bars in Charleston: Nobody goes there anymore. Too crowded.
Let's schedule a home and home.My vote is for the Metropolitan area known as Altoona
Why do the noles get to avoid this donnybrook? Why not a three way cage match?
They need to pay for what they've done (alaska leading us here).
You said somewhere nice and then suggested Myrtle beach?
No. I am writing a sequel to “Devil went down to Georgia” and you can’t mess this up for me.
Devil went down to Clemson and he was looking for a ***** to slap…
That’s all I got so far. But I got a feeling bowling will have to be involved now.
Well the Hawks went down to Clemson, they were lookin’ for a board to steal
Their message site got shut down hard, moderators didn't like the troll's appeal
When they stumbled on a Tiger thread just postin’ memes and bait
They said, “Boys, scoot over in this forum, we’re migratin’ interstate.”
Now the Clemson fans got furious, said “Y’all can’t settle here!
Every thread’s about your punter now and Busch Light beer!”
But the Hawkeyes just kept posting gifs and talkin’ liberal might
And every right wing jerk off thread somehow turned to political fights.
Clemson said, “You corn-fed heathens need to pack your stuff and go
This board was peaceful ‘fore you showed up yellin’ ‘Fire Brian Ferentz!’ though.”
But the Hawkeyes laughed and typed back fast, “We ain’t leavin’, friend
You gave us free registration and we’re here until the end.”
Post, Hawkeye, post away and flood these threads tonight
‘Cause the Tigers are complainin’ and the mods ain’t winnin’ fights
And if you win, you get free reign to argue every day
But if you lose, you gotta take your corn-fed takes away.
Well the Clemson fans posted championships and orange-colored pride
Talked of Dabo, Death Valley, and the ACC side
But every single highlight clip got twenty Iowa replies sayin’
“Yeah that’s cool, but could they handle Kinnick after dark in rain?”
Then the Hawkeyes spammed Caitlin Clark three point compilations
Punted from their own boards straight into new destinations
They posted “In Heaven There Is No Beer” beneath each Tiger loss
And somehow every Clemson thread turned into Penn State wrestling discourse.
Now over by the sideline sat the Seminoles amused
Florida State just watched it all while both fanbases accused
One another of ruining threads and acting terminally online
While FSU sat laughing sayin’, “This is peak offseason time.”
The Seminole said, “Ain’t this rich? Y’all sound exactly same
Both fanbases writing novels every time somebody’s blamed
One got booted from their kingdom, one can’t stop complainin’ still
And both of y’all got forty-page threads about Gibbs posting drivil.”
Well Clemson screamed for moderators, “Please remove these ****** clowns!”
But the Iowa fans just multiplied and settled all around
Now every thread from hoss to hoops to poop to slab crack
Somehow ends with Hawkeye posters sayin’, “Intelligence is what you lack.”
And the moral of the story if you spend your life online:
Never leave registrations open in the football offseason time
‘Cause once the Hawkeyes find a board, they’ll never say goodbye
And Florida State will sit and laugh while both sides wonder why.
True, but Mount Pleasant, across the bridge from Charleston, is completely wide open for business and welcoming all Iowans.
This is a trap Iowans. It is well-known that Mt. Pleasant is a disgusting, gang-infested hotbed of criminal activity. Avoid at all costs!
I've never been to Myrtle Beach, but I've been operating under the assumption that Myrtle Beach is nice.
ILL GET THE TAILGATE SETUP IN THE PARKIN LOT
no way his party potatoes are straight cheeks
Nope. Locals here call it dirty Myrtle or the redneck riviera. I associate MB with white trash and pasty Ohioans. Some decent areas south (ex. Pawley's) and north (ex. Cherry Grove).
I met Glen Worley's dad at that establishment. Way before the Glen graduated high school. Some friends and myself were walking in and this huge mountain of a man lifted his head from the table and askedIf this ends up in Ottumwa, I know the perfect place for refreshments afterwards.
"Can you give me a ride somewhere?"
"Where too?" replied my friend.
"Cedar Rapids." answered Mr Worley
"Ahhh....NO" says my other friend.
Many years later...
I was working a second job (to support drug/alcohol habit) at the TREE TOP lounge on the Coralville strip and this huge mountain of a man walks in and asks for a Hennessy. As one would guess this fine establishment did not carry that particular liquor so he settled for a double rum and coke.
Took about a half hour to realize it twas the same huge mountain of a man I had met those many years ago in the find establishment named Chills & Thrills
CSB/
