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I've been named head surgeon at UK college of medicine!

MdWIldcat55

MdWIldcat55

Heisman
Dec 9, 2007
21,347
85,421
113
It came as a complete surprise. I have none of the skills that should have qualified me for the job. I've never even witnessed a surgery. And now I'm going to be expected to perform life saving procedures that only a small handful of people alive can do. Part of me knows I am in over my head. I can't even stand the sight of blood, and now people are going to be depending on me to protect things they love dearly.

Maybe I should say no.

But it is a lot of money. I mean a WHOLE lot. And there is great prestige with the job. Also, I'd have a chance to succeed at the University I dearly love. Maybe AD (administrative director) Mitch Hartbarn knew what he was doing when he offered me the job. I mean, he must know SOMETHING, right? I guess I have hidden potential that only he can see.

So, I guess I'll take the job. Wish me luck!
 
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S

SBKY

Senior
Jan 20, 2011
382
657
93
You gotta take it. They can't fire you for at least 3 years and at that point you'll be so rich you won't even care. You might tarnish the name of the College of Medicine, but so what - you got yours!

You sound like you know the assignment. I'm sure you'll have a great group of guys surrounding you and their story isn't over yet.
 
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L

Loucatfan30

All-Conference
Apr 11, 2024
941
1,183
87
MdWIldcat55 said:
It came as a complete surprise. I have none of the skills that should have qualified me for the job. I've never even witnessed a surgery. And now I'm going to be expected to perform life saving procedures that only a small handful of people alive can do. Part of me knows I am in over my head. I can't even stand the sight of blood, and now people are going to be depending on me to protect things they love dearly.

Maybe I should say no.

But it is a lot of money. I mean a WHOLE lot. And there is great prestige with the job. Also, I'd have a chance to succeed at the University I dearly love. Maybe AD (administrative director) Mitch Hartbarn knew what he was doing when he offered me the job. I mean, he must know SOMETHING, right? I guess I have hidden potential that only he can see.

So, I guess I'll take the job. Wish me luck!
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That basically exactly what it is. Only difference is maybe you were a foot surgeon and now they are putting you in charge of brain surgery. You have no experience at this level.
 
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G

gtown965

All-Conference
Feb 12, 2026
405
1,112
93
MdWIldcat55 said:
It came as a complete surprise. I have none of the skills that should have qualified me for the job. I've never even witnessed a surgery. And now I'm going to be expected to perform life saving procedures that only a small handful of people alive can do. Part of me knows I am in over my head. I can't even stand the sight of blood, and now people are going to be depending on me to protect things they love dearly.

Maybe I should say no.

But it is a lot of money. I mean a WHOLE lot. And there is great prestige with the job. Also, I'd have a chance to succeed at the University I dearly love. Maybe AD (administrative director) Mitch Hartbarn knew what he was doing when he offered me the job. I mean, he must know SOMETHING, right? I guess I have hidden potential that only he can see.

So, I guess I'll take the job. Wish me luck!
Click to expand...
Is that you Hunter Biden?
 
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AustinTXCat

AustinTXCat

Hall of Famer
Jan 7, 2003
53,759
318,157
113
MdWIldcat55 said:
It came as a complete surprise. I have none of the skills that should have qualified me for the job. I've never even witnessed a surgery. And now I'm going to be expected to perform life saving procedures that only a small handful of people alive can do. Part of me knows I am in over my head. I can't even stand the sight of blood, and now people are going to be depending on me to protect things they love dearly.

Maybe I should say no.

But it is a lot of money. I mean a WHOLE lot. And there is great prestige with the job. Also, I'd have a chance to succeed at the University I dearly love. Maybe AD (administrative director) Mitch Hartbarn knew what he was doing when he offered me the job. I mean, he must know SOMETHING, right? I guess I have hidden potential that only he can see.

So, I guess I'll take the job. Wish me luck!
Click to expand...
Congrats! Heard Chandler MC is a great place to work.
 
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2

20MRoster

All-Conference
Nov 16, 2018
1,065
2,036
108
MdWIldcat55 said:
It came as a complete surprise. I have none of the skills that should have qualified me for the job. I've never even witnessed a surgery. And now I'm going to be expected to perform life saving procedures that only a small handful of people alive can do. Part of me knows I am in over my head. I can't even stand the sight of blood, and now people are going to be depending on me to protect things they love dearly.

Maybe I should say no.

But it is a lot of money. I mean a WHOLE lot. And there is great prestige with the job. Also, I'd have a chance to succeed at the University I dearly love. Maybe AD (administrative director) Mitch Hartbarn knew what he was doing when he offered me the job. I mean, he must know SOMETHING, right? I guess I have hidden potential that only he can see.

So, I guess I'll take the job. Wish me luck!
Click to expand...
Well done good sir. I'm gonna give you $22M to be my surgeon on retainer. You can accidentally cut off my arms and legs, I won't care -- that's good data for you to learn from for future surgeries.

Just please leave my man parts intact pleeeeeeease :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
 
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B

Beatle Bum

Heisman
Sep 1, 2002
41,748
63,651
113
And, yet, the first year on the job you performed some of the best string of surgeries the hospital ever witnessed and had things buzzing like it had not in years. Great analogy. 🤦‍♂️
 
paulcalhoun_rivals397471

paulcalhoun_rivals397471

All-Conference
Aug 23, 2024
1,948
4,732
113
MdWIldcat55 said:
It came as a complete surprise. I have none of the skills that should have qualified me for the job. I've never even witnessed a surgery. And now I'm going to be expected to perform life saving procedures that only a small handful of people alive can do. Part of me knows I am in over my head. I can't even stand the sight of blood, and now people are going to be depending on me to protect things they love dearly.

Maybe I should say no.

But it is a lot of money. I mean a WHOLE lot. And there is great prestige with the job. Also, I'd have a chance to succeed at the University I dearly love. Maybe AD (administrative director) Mitch Hartbarn knew what he was doing when he offered me the job. I mean, he must know SOMETHING, right? I guess I have hidden potential that only he can see.

So, I guess I'll take the job. Wish me luck!
Click to expand...
This site has a collection of some of the world's lamest want to be comedians.
 
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Mike-D

Mike-D

Heisman
Jul 14, 2001
50,268
75,053
113
TheDude73 said:
Well now we're going to know who you are - there goes anonymity!

Congrats!
Click to expand...
 
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J

James Arington

Senior
Jan 14, 2002
797
509
93
MdWIldcat55 said:
It came as a complete surprise. I have none of the skills that should have qualified me for the job. I've never even witnessed a surgery. And now I'm going to be expected to perform life saving procedures that only a small handful of people alive can do. Part of me knows I am in over my head. I can't even stand the sight of blood, and now people are going to be depending on me to protect things they love dearly.

Maybe I should say no.

But it is a lot of money. I mean a WHOLE lot. And there is great prestige with the job. Also, I'd have a chance to succeed at the University I dearly love. Maybe AD (administrative director) Mitch Hartbarn knew what he was doing when he offered me the job. I mean, he must know SOMETHING, right? I guess I have hidden potential that only he can see.

So, I guess I'll take the job. Wish me luck!
Click to expand...
You need surgery immediately.
 
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C

Cats_2010

Heisman
Jan 8, 2010
11,802
20,080
103
I suspect your first round of surgeries will go better than expected even though still unsuccessful. Then you will hit a rough patch where you really aren’t coming close to a successful surgery and are not learning from the mistakes you’re making. Ultimately ending in giving you approximately 30 more scheduled surgeries to get things figured out before they have to move on from you. Lots of people left in your wake but what a beautiful journey it will have been.
 
C

ChocoChicken

All-Conference
Apr 6, 2026
388
1,115
93
Beatle Bum said:
And, yet, the first year on the job you performed some of the best string of surgeries the hospital ever witnessed and had things buzzing like it had not in years. Great analogy. 🤦‍♂️
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At this point you have to assume the first season was a fluke and move on. And it still wasn’t that great. The last two portal cycles have been pretty similarly frustrating and we’ll wait to see if the in-season results are the same as last year, but considering how difficult the SEC is gonna be this year, I have a feeling it’s going to get bad.
 
CELTICAT

CELTICAT

Heisman
May 21, 2002
19,285
18,978
113
You’ll outclass Duke’s head of surgery right out of the gate and have a small handful of fans that’ll overlook the dozens of deaths that follow.
 
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D

D1JA

Junior
May 11, 2007
409
227
43
I'm sure the "zoom" bypass surgery you created, which should allow for 35 procedures per day, will revolutionize hospitals for decades to come.
 
M

Mossip

All-American
Jul 20, 2007
5,996
5,638
60
You FINISHED med school? That’s next level genius. Do you play chess perchance? Simply elite, epic beauty my guy.
 
notFromhere

notFromhere

Heisman
Sep 7, 2016
22,778
67,745
113
Loucatfan30 said:
That basically exactly what it is. Only difference is maybe you were a foot surgeon and now they are putting you in charge of brain surgery. You have no experience at this level.
Click to expand...

This is how most of the university works. People just don't see it every day like those who work there. Nepotism just barely within rules and friends being hired over more qualified candidates, and people great at their jobs being moved or fired to make room for friends/family or because a petty tyrant makes a mistake and the employee knows about it.

Yall are just getting the curtain pulled back and seeing there is no wizard
 
B

Beatle Bum

Heisman
Sep 1, 2002
41,748
63,651
113
ChocoChicken said:
At this point you have to assume the first season was a fluke and move on. And it still wasn’t that great. The last two portal cycles have been pretty similarly frustrating and we’ll wait to see if the in-season results are the same as last year, but considering how difficult the SEC is gonna be this year, I have a feeling it’s going to get bad.
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Well, I think we react in sports with actual analysis and not just emotion. Beating the most top 25 teams in a season is not a fluke. I am glad we don’t have knee jerk responses like this in actual management. That would really suck. Actual analysis is needed.
 
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