Seltzer??? Come on Maaan...

Jan 9, 2016
2,357
345
83
Yes, I’m drunk but can anyone on this board (minus the smart asses) tell me what the hell is the appeal of seltzer beer??

It’s ****** beer to begin with but why 17ing add water to an already watered down beer?

I tell you what seltzer beer is....It’s a sad reflection on how weak this country has become.

We’re ****** as a society if we continue to trend in the direction we’re going with this ********.

That Coors commercial for their seltzer beer is so aggravating. “The Rivers”.....17 y’all - get up offer your asses and help someone damn it.

Every kid that graduates HS in the US should serve in a branch of the US military for 2 yrs before they are allowed to attend a US college.......

yeah, yeah, yeah....GTFOML too. But you know I’m right whether you’ll admit it or not.

I’m having one more and go to bed....night.
 

jethreauxdawg

Heisman
Dec 20, 2010
11,938
17,295
113
Well said

Yes, I’m drunk but can anyone on this board (minus the smart asses) tell me what the hell is the appeal of seltzer beer??

It’s ****** beer to begin with but why 17ing add water to an already watered down beer?

I tell you what seltzer beer is....It’s a sad reflection on how weak this country has become.

We’re ****** as a society if we continue to trend in the direction we’re going with this ********.

That Coors commercial for their seltzer beer is so aggravating. “The Rivers”.....17 y’all - get up offer your asses and help someone damn it.

Every kid that graduates HS in the US should serve in a branch of the US military for 2 yrs before they are allowed to attend a US college.......

yeah, yeah, yeah....GTFOML too. But you know I’m right whether you’ll admit it or not.

I’m having one more and go to bed....night.

I assumed it was replacing zima. Or it could just be that the profit margin on those things is probably triple that of beer. Maybe more. Spend enough on marketing and people will buy it.
 

greenbean.sixpack

All-American
Oct 6, 2012
9,443
8,875
113
Yes, I’m drunk but can anyone on this board (minus the smart asses) tell me what the hell is the appeal of seltzer beer??

It’s ****** beer to begin with but why 17ing add water to an already watered down beer?

I tell you what seltzer beer is....It’s a sad reflection on how weak this country has become.

We’re ****** as a society if we continue to trend in the direction we’re going with this ********.

That Coors commercial for their seltzer beer is so aggravating. “The Rivers”.....17 y’all - get up offer your asses and help someone damn it.

Every kid that graduates HS in the US should serve in a branch of the US military for 2 yrs before they are allowed to attend a US college.......

yeah, yeah, yeah....GTFOML too. But you know I’m right whether you’ll admit it or not.

I’m having one more and go to bed....night.

Ain't no law when you're drinking the claw!

Seltzers were developed to take advantage of the low carb/keto craze that has been popular over the past year or two. Most only have one or two carbs and most are gluten free.

Ultra has the low carb market covered as far as regular beer goes.
 

Mobile Bay

All-Conference
Jul 26, 2020
4,243
2,188
113
Yes, I’m drunk but can anyone on this board (minus the smart asses) tell me what the hell is the appeal of seltzer beer??

It’s ****** beer to begin with but why 17ing add water to an already watered down beer?

I tell you what seltzer beer is....It’s a sad reflection on how weak this country has become.

We’re ****** as a society if we continue to trend in the direction we’re going with this ********.

That Coors commercial for their seltzer beer is so aggravating. “The Rivers”.....17 y’all - get up offer your asses and help someone damn it.

Every kid that graduates HS in the US should serve in a branch of the US military for 2 yrs before they are allowed to attend a US college.......

yeah, yeah, yeah....GTFOML too. But you know I’m right whether you’ll admit it or not.

I’m having one more and go to bed....night.


Because I can drink a bunch of them while I almost have the beatus. Beer makes me feel sick now. One or two and I am down for hours.

By the way, break out the wiskey and I will drink you under the table and feel fine the next day. I am bigger, stronger, and meaner than you will ever be.
 

Barkman Turner Overdrive

All-Conference
May 28, 2006
4,775
3,326
113
Every kid that graduates HS in the US should serve in a branch of the US military for 2 yrs before they are allowed to attend a US college....

Hell no! College isn’t for everyone and neither is the military. I can’t think of a worse situation for the military than have people in your ranks that do not want to be there.
 

TheStateUofMS

All-Conference
Dec 26, 2009
10,451
2,469
113
It's not beer. That's your first problem. It's simply not. It's actually called "Hard Seltzer."

I prefer it to light beer because drinks like a lighter beer (not the taste), but it doesn't give me the bloat. Light beer tastes like water anyway. To me Hard Seltzer is a light beer substitute.

I still like my IPAs, but give me a Truly over a Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller Light, Budweiser, etc any day.
 

mstateglfr

All-American
Feb 24, 2008
16,914
6,752
113
Yes, I’m drunk but can anyone on this board (minus the smart asses) tell me what the hell is the appeal of seltzer beer??

It’s ****** beer to begin with but why 17ing add water to an already watered down beer?

I tell you what seltzer beer is....It’s a sad reflection on how weak this country has become.

We’re ****** as a society if we continue to trend in the direction we’re going with this ********.

That Coors commercial for their seltzer beer is so aggravating. “The Rivers”.....17 y’all - get up offer your asses and help someone damn it.

Every kid that graduates HS in the US should serve in a branch of the US military for 2 yrs before they are allowed to attend a US college.......

yeah, yeah, yeah....GTFOML too. But you know I’m right whether you’ll admit it or not.

I’m having one more and go to bed....night.

All seriousness, this reads like your normal posts. I wouldn't have guessed you were drunk and never would known if you hadn't forced it into the post.
 

Go Budaw

Redshirt
Aug 22, 2012
7,321
0
36
Do people actually call it “seltzer beer”? I’ve honestly never heard that. Its hard seltzer...not a beer in any way, shape, or form.

My personal favorite hard seltzer is a vodka soda.
 

BossDawg78

All-Conference
Jan 25, 2015
3,996
1,258
113
Hell no! College isn’t for everyone and neither is the military. I can’t think of a worse situation for the military than have people in your ranks that do not want to be there.

To be painfully honest much of the military now is about as disciplined as your typical college campus. It's become an emasculated train wreck with guys and gals chasing each other, and it no longer attracts guys you'd want watching your six like it once did. For instance the Army no longer allows "shark attacks" (multiple drill sgts. yelling in your face) because it doesn't create trust or some garbage like that, nor do they train with grenades anymore because (no ****) the typical recruit was too weak to throw one far enough. I could go on and on. I hate admitting that too but the military is on a sudden mission to fix whatever they can that isn't broken.

Mandatory military service wouldn't fix anything.
 
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The Peeper

Heisman
Feb 26, 2008
16,746
12,508
113
I love my beer, drink too much of it, daily. I'm all over the spectrum of brands, I like them all just some better than others. IPA's are my favorite but I'll drink a Lite or Coors Lite too, I'm not a beer snob.
There's 3 females of drinking age in my household and at any given time in our beer fridge they have Truly, White Claw, some kind of "Vodka Soda", Bud Light Seltzer, blah blah blah. I can honestly say though if I run out of beer I would die of dehydration before drinking one of those flavored Alka Seltzer's. You can drop a couple Alka Seltzers in a glass and hit it with a shot of KoolAid and have the same thing. I don't know how you fine people can drink them in the privacy of your own home, much less in public
 

Dawgbite

Heisman
Nov 1, 2011
9,943
11,404
113
It's not beer. That's your first problem. It's simply not. It's actually called "Hard Seltzer."

I prefer it to light beer because drinks like a lighter beer (not the taste), but it doesn't give me the bloat. Light beer tastes like water anyway. To me Hard Seltzer is a light beer substitute.

I still like my IPAs, but give me a Truly over a Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller Light, Budweiser, etc any day.
We’re going to need you to turn in your “Man Card” and step away from the keyboard before you lead astray any young impressionable minds that may be reading. “ Beer is proof that God wants us to be happy”.
 

mcdawg22

Heisman
Sep 18, 2004
13,699
12,215
113
I’ll admit it I had 12 Saturday before the fifth of Tito’s guess I’m a *****.
 

Crucifictorious

Freshman
Jan 31, 2012
513
52
28
I haven't had one but I just assumed it was like a Smirnoff Ice, fizzy malt liquor and full of sweetener.
 

Mobile Bay

All-Conference
Jul 26, 2020
4,243
2,188
113
How heavy is a grenade and how far does one need to throw it?

I have a dummy grenade somewhere. I would say a pound and a half, tops. Mine is hollow so I don't know what the inside weighs normally.

Good lord, if you can't throw one of them you are a wimp.
 

TheStateUofMS

All-Conference
Dec 26, 2009
10,451
2,469
113
I love beer. I just don't like the traditional cheap light beers for what they do to my stomach, how I feel after I drink them and the terrible taste.
 

CadaverDawg

Redshirt
Dec 5, 2011
6,409
0
0
Clicked on the link expecting to see references to this episode....

 

Dawgtruc

Junior
Sep 8, 2018
1,117
232
58
Yes, I’m drunk but can anyone on this board (minus the smart asses) tell me what the hell is the appeal of seltzer beer??

It’s ****** beer to begin with but why 17ing add water to an already watered down beer?

I tell you what seltzer beer is....It’s a sad reflection on how weak this country has become.

We’re ****** as a society if we continue to trend in the direction we’re going with this ********.

That Coors commercial for their seltzer beer is so aggravating. “The Rivers”.....17 y’all - get up offer your asses and help someone damn it.

Every kid that graduates HS in the US should serve in a branch of the US military for 2 yrs before they are allowed to attend a US college.......

yeah, yeah, yeah....GTFOML too. But you know I’m right whether you’ll admit it or not.

I’m having one more and go to bed....night.

I'm with ya. 17 Seltzer.

Some Beer companies are discontinuing some of their actual beer product to focus on seltzers. St. Archer was ditched for Vizzy. Can't hardly find the Beast Light anymore. Not sure what's up with that.
You go into a convenience store and see these seltzers taking up valuable cooler space designated for BEER!

This has got to be a temporary phase...or America has descended into hell.
 

Junction John

Redshirt
Oct 22, 2014
3,249
0
0
Is High Noon a seltzer? Because that **** tastes good.

It says vodka and soda right on the label, so I feel fairly manly drinking it.


I also ask myself this question about my manhood: Should I avoid drinking something I like because it's not 'cool' enough, or should I not give a **** what other people think?

I vote the latter. If I want a dock rocker, I'm getting a damn dock rocker. I don't care what color it is.
 
Last edited:
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