OT:*** Hole Awareness

[Lettucexxxx]

I had a new one today.

What seemed to be a normal rumble, I went ahead and pointed my horse toward the *******. Being at my house, I was able to leave the door open so I could listen to the end of Finbaum's ramble letting the coolness of the A/C infiltrate, what is normally a stuffy bathroom. I began " The Move", to much success. While reading the latest thread on here, I felt a tremendous pressure. Yes, I had a couple of drinks the night before but nothing out of the ordinary. Two hotdogs and some left over dirty rice should not have done this to me.

What felt like a Volvo tractor driving out of my ***, ended up being what looked like rabbit ****. I clutched the shower curtain as it came raining down on my head. It really felt as if my *** was caving in on itself. I yelled, cried, then smiled a little, started the shower and put the fire out.

Imagine sunning at the local Motel 8, laying on your back and having your *** filled up with napalm darts. It hurt all the way to my ears. Do I need to get this checked out or put less Tabasco on the hotdogs? Holy ****.

 

[jethreauxdawg]

Just soak it in Dale's

 

[Digging dog]

Some things should be kept to ones self.

 

[Uncle Ruckus]

You left the door open, so that's not the problem. Most shitting problems can be solved by leaving the door open. Maybe you should try drinking blue moon tonight

 

[Lettucexxxx]

Unc, the pain was upon me so fast, all I could think to do was get in the shower. How many times does this have to happen in a row before I should go to ER? It really felt as if Indiana Jones was leading his group through a torched filled cave.

 

[DawgatAuburn]

I had a new one today.

What seemed to be a normal rumble, I went ahead and pointed my horse toward the *******. Being at my house, I was able to leave the door open so I could listen to the end of Finbaum's ramble letting the coolness of the A/C infiltrate, what is normally a stuffy bathroom. I began " The Move", to much success. While reading the latest thread on here, I felt a tremendous pressure. Yes, I had a couple of drinks the night before but nothing out of the ordinary. Two hotdogs and some left over dirty rice should not have done this to me.

What felt like a Volvo tractor driving out of my ***, ended up being what looked like rabbit ****. I clutched the shower curtain as it came raining down on my head. It really felt as if my *** was caving in on itself. I yelled, cried, then smiled a little, started the shower and put the fire out.

Imagine sunning at the local Motel 8, laying on your back and having your *** filled up with napalm darts. It hurt all the way to my ears. Do I need to get this checked out or put less Tabasco on the hotdogs? Holy ****.

If I figure out who down voted this, I'm banning you. Lettuce is a legend.

 

[tatedog]

I'm going to need some more information before I make a diagnosis. On a scale from 1-10, with 1 being a raw sewage plant and 10 being a Davis-Wade Stadium concession cup, how bad was the smell?

 

[Dawgpile]

Why am I having Déjà vu?

 

[Lettucexxxx]

I don't claim to be better than any of you but generally speaking, my **** doesn't stink. Now, what happened earlier today was far from general and it smelled like a dead cowhorn spike with buzzards circling it. Id say an 8 with a hint of 9.

 

[JungRebel]

View attachment 5122

 

[IBleedMaroonDawg]

Sounds like you could have a promising career ahead of you.

 

[UpTheMiddlex3Punt]

Unc, the pain was upon me so fast, all I could think to do was get in the shower. How many times does this have to happen in a row before I should go to ER? It really felt as if Indiana Jones was leading his group through a torched filled cave.

Sometimes I skip the ******* altogether, hop in the shower, and heel the larger pieces down the drain.

 

[Uncle Ruckus]

That's a classic waffle stomp and not that uncommon.

 

[AlCoDog]

I thought this was going to be a thread on helping folks notice if an OM fan was around you.

 

[Dawgbite]

Generally speaking, rabbit turds do not burn nearly as bad as the straight through a screen door type of poops. You might need to seek professional help.

 

[ShrubDog]

Pics or it didn't happen.

 

[willi13]

Too much Lettuce

 

[BiscuitEater]

I could listen to the end of Finbaum's ramble .. While reading the latest thread on here, I felt a tremendous pressure.

Okay, the 'cause' has either got to be .. 'listening to Finbaum' or reading a thread on the 'pack .. while pushing a deuce. Don't have to tell you the 'effect.'

 

[Wizard.sixpack]

Hot dogs are one of the worse foods you can eat. I stopped eating them years ago and am much better off.

 

[Uncle Ruckus]

Speaking of, are you able to eat them now if you wanted to?

 

[Wizard.sixpack]

unfortunately....no I am in the no beef club. I have been too depressed about it to follow-up, sorry. Fortunately, with me it's only beef though, so that's a plus I suppose.

 

[DerHntr]

unfortunately....no I am in the no beef club. I have been too depressed about it to follow-up, sorry. Fortunately, with me it's only beef though, so that's a plus I suppose.

That is HORRIBLE to hear but I'm glad you can still eat everything else. I only eat beef if it's at a restaurant so it wouldn't affect me too badly. Take away deer and pork and I would drop 30 lbs while tailspinning into a depression.

 

[RocketDawg]

Hot dogs are one of the worse foods you can eat. I stopped eating them years ago and am much better off.

Just knowing how they're made and what they're made of is pretty much unappetizing and a total turnoff. Haven't had one in many years.

 

[PiedmontDawg]

but will it fit in a 30oz YETI cup?**

 

[JungRebel]

Can you handle broth? If so there are ways of cooking mushrooms in beef broth that mimic the texture and flavor.

 

[Uncle Ruckus]

And that is the reason I will never learn how they're made.

 

[Wizard.sixpack]

Not sure about broth but I doubt it.

 

[1msudawg]

Don't think while you eat!