Good Read on SEC
West Virginia: Now we're talking. Based on the email I
get every time I mention the Mountaineers in a
less-than-flattering light, I know they take football seriously.
The atmosphere in Morgantown is the closest thing the Big East has
to the SEC. But we'll have to talk on a couple of issues: </p>
<font size="+1">•</font>I<span style="font-weight: bold;">t
was good that the city fathers made couch burning a felony. We
just can't have that kind of behavior in the SEC because if you
allow that, the next thing you know, somebody will start poisoning
trees. </span> </p>
<font size="+1">•</font>But selling beer
during games at the stadium? Son, if we extend an invitation,
you'll have to knock that off. We are, after all, in the Bible
belt. All of our drinking takes place in the parking lot. <span style="font-weight: bold;">If you
want to drink in the stadium, then do what respectable folks have
always done in the SEC -- sneak in a half-pint of Jack Daniels in
your date's purse. </span></p>
West Virginia: Now we're talking. Based on the email I
get every time I mention the Mountaineers in a
less-than-flattering light, I know they take football seriously.
The atmosphere in Morgantown is the closest thing the Big East has
to the SEC. But we'll have to talk on a couple of issues: </p>
<font size="+1">•</font>I<span style="font-weight: bold;">t
was good that the city fathers made couch burning a felony. We
just can't have that kind of behavior in the SEC because if you
allow that, the next thing you know, somebody will start poisoning
trees. </span> </p>
<font size="+1">•</font>But selling beer
during games at the stadium? Son, if we extend an invitation,
you'll have to knock that off. We are, after all, in the Bible
belt. All of our drinking takes place in the parking lot. <span style="font-weight: bold;">If you
want to drink in the stadium, then do what respectable folks have
always done in the SEC -- sneak in a half-pint of Jack Daniels in
your date's purse. </span></p>
