Why did the private salute the refrigerator?
Because it was General Electric
Because it was General Electric
OT: One Line Jokes
- Thread starter zappaa
- Start date
What did the bartender say to the horse when he walked into the pub?
"Why the long face buddy??!!"
"Why the long face buddy??!!"
Sadist asks a masochist to do something painful to him. Masochist says no.
Ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender say's "sorry we don't serve food"
Zap, your dad has a lifetime supply of great one liners. I have the book to prove it. My favorite has always been (and there a lot of truth to it) "Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded"
Bartender walks out of back room finds a nun, priest and rabbi are sitting at the bar and says "what is this some kind of joke?"
Posted from Rivals Mobile
Posted from Rivals Mobile
More than one line, but funny.
The Sensitive Man
A woman meets a man in a bar.
They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together..
They get back to his place,
And as he shows her around his apartment.
She notices that one wall of his bedroom is
completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom,
With hundreds and hundreds of cute,
Cuddly teddy bears carefully placed
In rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken
Quite some time to lovingly arrange them
And she was immediately touched
By the amount of thought he had
Put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along
The bottom shelf,
Medium-sized bears covering the
Length of the middle shelf,
And huge, enormous bears running
All the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an
Obviously masculine guy
To have such a large collection of
Teddy Bears.
She is quite impressed by his
Sensitive side.
But doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and
Continue talking and,
After awhile, she finds herself
Thinking,
'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy
Could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future
Father of my children?'
She turns to him and kisses him
Lightly on the lips
He responds warmly
They continue to kiss, the passion builds,
And he romantically lifts her in
His arms and carries her into his bedroom
Where they rip off each other's
Clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she
Responds with more passion,
More creativity, more heat than she
Has ever known.
After an intense, explosive night
Of raw passion with this sensitive guy,
They are lying there together in
The afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently
Strokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well, how was it?'
The guy gently smiles at her,
Strokes her cheek,
Looks deeply into her eyes,
And says...........
'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf.'
The Sensitive Man
A woman meets a man in a bar.
They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together..
They get back to his place,
And as he shows her around his apartment.
She notices that one wall of his bedroom is
completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom,
With hundreds and hundreds of cute,
Cuddly teddy bears carefully placed
In rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken
Quite some time to lovingly arrange them
And she was immediately touched
By the amount of thought he had
Put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along
The bottom shelf,
Medium-sized bears covering the
Length of the middle shelf,
And huge, enormous bears running
All the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an
Obviously masculine guy
To have such a large collection of
Teddy Bears.
She is quite impressed by his
Sensitive side.
But doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and
Continue talking and,
After awhile, she finds herself
Thinking,
'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy
Could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future
Father of my children?'
She turns to him and kisses him
Lightly on the lips
He responds warmly
They continue to kiss, the passion builds,
And he romantically lifts her in
His arms and carries her into his bedroom
Where they rip off each other's
Clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she
Responds with more passion,
More creativity, more heat than she
Has ever known.
After an intense, explosive night
Of raw passion with this sensitive guy,
They are lying there together in
The afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently
Strokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well, how was it?'
The guy gently smiles at her,
Strokes her cheek,
Looks deeply into her eyes,
And says...........
'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf.'
SayHey,
That's a long why to go for that joke
(and didn't she meet him working at the county fair or boardwalk??)
anyway, I'll get the thread back on topic (and yes, I got a million of em!)
I gave up bowling for sex, the balls are lighter and you don't have to change your shoes.
That's a long why to go for that joke
anyway, I'll get the thread back on topic (and yes, I got a million of em!)
I gave up bowling for sex, the balls are lighter and you don't have to change your shoes.
One of my glass wearing brothers would say this when we ordered a beer and the waitress asked if we wanted glasses. He would always respond with No thanks, I'm wearing them.
A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "sorry bud, we don't serve your kind here." The mushroom replies, "why not, I'm a fun guy."
How do you tell the difference between a male chromosome and a female chromosome? Pull down its jeans.
How do you tell the difference between a male chromosome and a female chromosome? Pull down its jeans.
Pirate walks into a bar with a peg leg, eye patch and a hook for a hand but for some reason, he has a ship`s wheel on his crotch. Bartender says "before I get you a drink I gotta ask, I get the whole pirate thing you got going on, the peg leg the eye patch but what's with the wheel on your crotch?" Pirate goes, "arrrrhh I DOE know but it's drivin` me nuts!!!"
Why is #6 so scared??
Because #7..8..9!
(math joke from my kids)
What's BLUE and smells like red paint????
..
..
..
..
blue paint!
Because #7..8..9!
(math joke from my kids)
What's BLUE and smells like red paint????
..
..
..
..
blue paint!
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
He was out standing in his field.
This post was edited on 5/5 10:29 AM by RUHotTrumpetMonkeyLove
He was out standing in his field.
This post was edited on 5/5 10:29 AM by RUHotTrumpetMonkeyLove