Greetings, fellow football fanatics! Major Amos B. Hoople, you Pugnacious Pigskin Prognosticator, here with his Peerless Predictions for Week 7 of the Big Ten football season!
Egad and gadzooks! What in the name of my Aunt Fannie’s bloomers is going on in the Big Ten this season? Nothing seems to be going according to Hoyle. Last week was another sub-par 5-3 effort bringing my season total to 58-18. While 76% may be good enough for some, it is downright disgraceful for me! This week’s slate of tilts presents a few more interesting match-ups…let’s see if I can bring the average up a little. <kaff-kaff>
Washington at Purdue. The Doggies have been sledding their way to mediocrity. A once promising season is turning to mush. Meanwhile, the Boiler choo-choo has been chugging along. Nothing spectacular, but better than expected. Happy Purdue fans will be banging their drum, as Washington’s season continues to slip away.
Purdue 27 Washington 21
Ohio State at Indiana. The Hoosiers almost stumbled last week against Nebraska. Ohio State keeps humming along like a well-oiled machine. Expect the machine to keep rolling, and Indiana to finally falter. What appeared to be a close game a few weeks ago should prove to be a rout. <um-kumph>
Ohio State 35 Indiana 14
Northwestern at Michigan State. The surprising Kitty Kats are proving to be a team no one wants to play. Sparty draws the short straw this week. Patty Fitz will have his Mean Green fired up, but to no avail as Northwestern keeps rolling along.
Northwestern 24 Michigan State 20
Rutgers at Maryland. Dozens of people will be tuning in for this Clash of the Midgets. The Turtles will start slow, but eventually expose the chinks in the Red Knight’s armor. <har-rumph>
Maryland 31 Rutgers 17
Penn State at Michigan. Things have not gone well for Matt Campbell’s Nittany Cyclones. What was expected to be a cake walk to the playoffs has turned into a snipe hunt. Not that the Wolverines have fared any better. With the talent they have there is no excuse for the ho-hum performances they have put on. Talent will out in this pillow fight.
Michigan 28 Penn State 10
Wisconsin at UCLA. This may turn out to be the game of the week. Nico Iamaleava is out for the Bruins. Wisconsin must endure the dreaded West Coast travel bugaboo. Both UCLA and Wisconsin have played better than expected so far. The odds-makers say UCLA (as of Tuesday afternoon), I say the Badgers in the upset. <hep-kemph>
Wisconsin 23 UCLA 21
Nebraska at Oregon. Big Red had their balloons popped last week, as they gave the game away to Indiana. The Duckies had their wings clipped in a narrow loss to UCLA. These teams appear to be evenly matched, but the Cornshuckers still need to make a believer out of me. But it won’t happen this week. <hack-kaff>
Oregon 33 Nebraska 20
There you have it, folks! Enjoy the games and remember...you heard it here first!
Boola Boola!
Egad and gadzooks! What in the name of my Aunt Fannie’s bloomers is going on in the Big Ten this season? Nothing seems to be going according to Hoyle. Last week was another sub-par 5-3 effort bringing my season total to 58-18. While 76% may be good enough for some, it is downright disgraceful for me! This week’s slate of tilts presents a few more interesting match-ups…let’s see if I can bring the average up a little. <kaff-kaff>
Washington at Purdue. The Doggies have been sledding their way to mediocrity. A once promising season is turning to mush. Meanwhile, the Boiler choo-choo has been chugging along. Nothing spectacular, but better than expected. Happy Purdue fans will be banging their drum, as Washington’s season continues to slip away.
Purdue 27 Washington 21
Ohio State at Indiana. The Hoosiers almost stumbled last week against Nebraska. Ohio State keeps humming along like a well-oiled machine. Expect the machine to keep rolling, and Indiana to finally falter. What appeared to be a close game a few weeks ago should prove to be a rout. <um-kumph>
Ohio State 35 Indiana 14
Northwestern at Michigan State. The surprising Kitty Kats are proving to be a team no one wants to play. Sparty draws the short straw this week. Patty Fitz will have his Mean Green fired up, but to no avail as Northwestern keeps rolling along.
Northwestern 24 Michigan State 20
Rutgers at Maryland. Dozens of people will be tuning in for this Clash of the Midgets. The Turtles will start slow, but eventually expose the chinks in the Red Knight’s armor. <har-rumph>
Maryland 31 Rutgers 17
Penn State at Michigan. Things have not gone well for Matt Campbell’s Nittany Cyclones. What was expected to be a cake walk to the playoffs has turned into a snipe hunt. Not that the Wolverines have fared any better. With the talent they have there is no excuse for the ho-hum performances they have put on. Talent will out in this pillow fight.
Michigan 28 Penn State 10
Wisconsin at UCLA. This may turn out to be the game of the week. Nico Iamaleava is out for the Bruins. Wisconsin must endure the dreaded West Coast travel bugaboo. Both UCLA and Wisconsin have played better than expected so far. The odds-makers say UCLA (as of Tuesday afternoon), I say the Badgers in the upset. <hep-kemph>
Wisconsin 23 UCLA 21
Nebraska at Oregon. Big Red had their balloons popped last week, as they gave the game away to Indiana. The Duckies had their wings clipped in a narrow loss to UCLA. These teams appear to be evenly matched, but the Cornshuckers still need to make a believer out of me. But it won’t happen this week. <hack-kaff>
Oregon 33 Nebraska 20
There you have it, folks! Enjoy the games and remember...you heard it here first!
Boola Boola!
