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OT: A gentle reminder, get over yourself.

LionJim

LionJim

Heisman
Oct 12, 2021
15,555
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Had a tiff with the wife this morning. Some background: When my wife tells me she wants to do some mundane task in a particular way, 99 times out of 100 I’ll give her a thumbs up. She’s a very smart, capable woman and if the strategy doesn’t work there would be minimal downside, the problem easily fixed. Don’t sweat the small stuff, you all get it. When I’m the one making the suggestion, it’s like pulling teeth. “That’s fine,” is rarely heard from her, maybe twice a year. She knows I’m a very literal person and if I wasn’t sure about something I’d start by saying “I may be mistaken here but…” I don’t BS, she knows that. Anyway, a nephew and his wife are visiting Bangkok and we’ve been and they’re asking for suggestions. Me: “Tell them to visit the National Museum and the Jim Thompson House and to plan for a long trip from and to the airport.” “Are you sure the airport is a long way from town?” She thinks out loud. “Yeah, I’m sure.” “Well there’s no need to get all huffy about it, I was just thinking.” You get the picture. I’m off to the gym and I’m lifting and stewing about the 9,324,881st version of the same GD argument when my OSU buddy (I’ve mentioned him three or five times) comes up. “How are you, Tom?” He shrugs and I can tell that he’s grieving his wife, not long passed. He carries his grief around with him every minute of every day and it struck me that I needed to get over myself.

Thanks for indulging me.
 
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HarrisburgDave

All-Conference
Dec 29, 2016
1,253
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LionJim said:
Had a tiff with the wife this morning. Some background: When my wife tells me she wants to do some mundane task in a particular way, 99 times out of 100 I’ll give her a thumbs up. She’s a very smart, capable woman and if the strategy doesn’t work there would be minimal downside, the problem easily fixed. Don’t sweat the small stuff, you all get it. When I’m the one making the suggestion, it’s like pulling teeth. “That’s fine,” is rarely heard from her, maybe twice a year. She knows I’m a very literal person and if I wasn’t sure about something I’d start by saying “I may be mistaken here but…” I don’t BS, she knows that. Anyway, a nephew and his wife are visiting Bangkok and we’ve been and they’re asking for suggestions. Me: “Tell them to visit the National Museum and the Jim Thompson House and to plan for a long trip from and to the airport.” “Are you sure the airport is a long way from town?” She thinks out loud. “Yeah, I’m sure.” “Well there’s no need to get all huffy about it, I was just thinking.” You get the picture. I’m off to the gym and I’m lifting and stewing about the 9,324,881st version of the same GD argument when my OSU buddy (I’ve mentioned him three or five times) comes up. “How are you, Tom?” He shrugs and I can tell that he’s grieving his wife, not long passed. He carries his grief around with him every minute of every day and it struck me that I needed to get over myself.

Thanks for indulging me.
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Frankly, you seem to be a horrific husband. I would seek counseling.

OK, that was for public consumption. I am with you 100 percent. Women can be a real pain to live with, but there are laws for doing something about that. So you did the right thing to go out and let off some steam. They think the same about us, no they think worse about us because we don't always give them an immediate response. I think the Spartans had it right with the men and women living apart. The Lebanese poet once said, "Let there be distance in our togetherness."

All that said, the only thing worse than living for years and years with the same woman is living without that same woman.
 
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TheBigUglies

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Oct 26, 2021
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Going on 35 years now and I learned I only get "You're right" about once a year or two. Have had many tiffs thru the years, the thing is not to hold a grudge and move on. I have built houses and did a lot of manual labor in my youth when it comes to taking care of a home and the property yet I still get questioned on whether I know what I am doing or not when fixing things around the homestead. We are able to laugh at each other without getting upset with each other at this point. Going lifting or for a walk or a hike or a bike ride clears the mind and resets everything for me.
 
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Connorpozlee

Connorpozlee

All-American
Aug 29, 2013
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LionJim said:
Had a tiff with the wife this morning. Some background: When my wife tells me she wants to do some mundane task in a particular way, 99 times out of 100 I’ll give her a thumbs up. She’s a very smart, capable woman and if the strategy doesn’t work there would be minimal downside, the problem easily fixed. Don’t sweat the small stuff, you all get it. When I’m the one making the suggestion, it’s like pulling teeth. “That’s fine,” is rarely heard from her, maybe twice a year. She knows I’m a very literal person and if I wasn’t sure about something I’d start by saying “I may be mistaken here but…” I don’t BS, she knows that. Anyway, a nephew and his wife are visiting Bangkok and we’ve been and they’re asking for suggestions. Me: “Tell them to visit the National Museum and the Jim Thompson House and to plan for a long trip from and to the airport.” “Are you sure the airport is a long way from town?” She thinks out loud. “Yeah, I’m sure.” “Well there’s no need to get all huffy about it, I was just thinking.” You get the picture. I’m off to the gym and I’m lifting and stewing about the 9,324,881st version of the same GD argument when my OSU buddy (I’ve mentioned him three or five times) comes up. “How are you, Tom?” He shrugs and I can tell that he’s grieving his wife, not long passed. He carries his grief around with him every minute of every day and it struck me that I needed to get over myself.

Thanks for indulging me.
Click to expand...
Meh. You shouldn’t always be the one needing to bend. It should go both ways. I hate when my friends refer to their wife as “the boss”. My wife and I had this discussion a month or so ago. It’s good to re-establish the standards every once in a while.
 
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psuro

psuro

Heisman
Aug 24, 2001
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A gentle reminder, get over yourself.​

I was never "under myself".

Season 4 Ok GIF by Power
 
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Marshall2323

Marshall2323

All-Conference
Aug 7, 2024
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LionJim said:
Had a tiff with the wife this morning. Some background: When my wife tells me she wants to do some mundane task in a particular way, 99 times out of 100 I’ll give her a thumbs up. She’s a very smart, capable woman and if the strategy doesn’t work there would be minimal downside, the problem easily fixed. Don’t sweat the small stuff, you all get it. When I’m the one making the suggestion, it’s like pulling teeth. “That’s fine,” is rarely heard from her, maybe twice a year. She knows I’m a very literal person and if I wasn’t sure about something I’d start by saying “I may be mistaken here but…” I don’t BS, she knows that. Anyway, a nephew and his wife are visiting Bangkok and we’ve been and they’re asking for suggestions. Me: “Tell them to visit the National Museum and the Jim Thompson House and to plan for a long trip from and to the airport.” “Are you sure the airport is a long way from town?” She thinks out loud. “Yeah, I’m sure.” “Well there’s no need to get all huffy about it, I was just thinking.” You get the picture. I’m off to the gym and I’m lifting and stewing about the 9,324,881st version of the same GD argument when my OSU buddy (I’ve mentioned him three or five times) comes up. “How are you, Tom?” He shrugs and I can tell that he’s grieving his wife, not long passed. He carries his grief around with him every minute of every day and it struck me that I needed to get over myself.

Thanks for indulging me.
Click to expand...
Today marks 28 days, 8 months and sixteen years I've had to regret the kind of thing you just explained. I never imagined there could be a world without her. Do yourself a favor. Take your wife out for a nice evening and celebrate that you still can.
 
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LionsAndBears

LionsAndBears

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Dec 7, 2009
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Someone once gave me the best marital advice when they said to never set any expectations for your wife. Handle your business without any promise of anything in return and you'll never be disappointed.

My Fraternity's motto was from STA.."Give, expecting nothing thereof." I think he nailed it but then again he had the perfect example.
 
Nittering Nabob

Nittering Nabob

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Sep 17, 2024
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LionJim said:
When my wife tells me she wants to do some mundane task in a particular way, 99 times out of 100 I’ll give her a thumbs up. She’s a very smart, capable woman and if the strategy doesn’t work there would be minimal downside, the problem easily fixed.
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Whether you realize it or not, you might be in an abusive relationship; not physical…psychological.

Your wife has found one of your natural weaknesses and is leveraging it to her advantage.

It’s a power play / control enthusiast thing.
 
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