Okay for those who don't know what this is, Bill Maher went and had dinner with Donald Trump. Trump then accused Bill of having TDS. And Bill promised on March 7th that he would address the issue.
And boy did he:
Bill Maher, Real Time — March 7, 2026
"Commander in Beef"
"But just to set the record straight from what the president claimed — I didn't ask for the dinner. Our mutual friend asked me. It's on tape from my podcast. Also, I wasn't nervous and scared, and the dinner wasn't quick. I was there almost three hours. And it wasn't vodka, it was a margarita. I didn't ask for it right away. I had a drink before dinner and then a couple more during. I was having a good time.
So were you, Don, because we were talking like real humans, not like that crazy act you put on in public. But I know that's what you do. You are, if anything, a man who wears his heart on his sleeve. And so you did here, listing your accomplishments and how hurt you feel that people, including me, have not recognized them enough.
I understand that feeling. You texted me soon after the dinner complaining I was still part of the lunatic left. And oh, you should have won a Nobel Prize for ending wars. And I texted back, 'Yeah, and I should have won 20 Emmys.'
We argued for a while and you ended by saying, 'Bill, you know what? Don't change. I wouldn't know what to do with you if you did.' Okay, that's the normal human being I saw the night we broke bread. And as long as I think there's even a spark of a possibility, bring that guy out more. I will not consider the dinner a waste of time even as I now see we're back to name calling and that I have some new ones like 'highly overrated lightweight' to add to the list you signed. Thank you. I'll be by with the new one.
But let's go through the things you're butthurt about — people not having noticed — because some people do have TDS. But you know what? I've called people out for making hating you their entire reason to live. Get a life. Stop making him your whole personality. But Don, you have to take some responsibility for that because you make people crazy because you do things that are racist, misogynistic, anti-democratic, and corrupt.
But I'll prove now I don't have the dreaded TDS. First off, despite all the hate I got from my side, I never threw you under the bus and said, 'Oh, you're right. I shouldn't have eaten steak with Hitler, cuz that's stupid.' Access to the president of the United States — are you kidding? You can't put a price on that. Although, Don, quite frankly, you do put a price on that all the time.
I consider myself lucky I got in to talk to you without giving you a 747 or buying your cryptocurrency or giving you my Nobel Prize.
But let's continue.
You say no mention of the perfect border. The border is closed. No, the border is a win. The border is a win. You mentioned the mass removal of stone cold criminals. This is what got Trump elected. We're going to get the gangs out. We don't want to become the kidnap country. The taking out of Iran's nuclear capability. I was very supportive of bombing the nuclear facility in Iran. I thought that was great.
Venezuela. Do I love everything about it? No. But do I hate it? No. If he somehow gets Venezuela, Cuba, and Iran all to be not these horrible places they were, he should get a Nobel Peace Prize.
The return of the hostages and the peace deal in the Middle East where the liberal panel was praising you. A lot of people tried to pull this off. He did. Give him credit. If he's good at getting deals done overseas, give him credit for it.
And here's a few you didn't even mention. The Golden Dome Missile Shield — just cuz Trump thought of it, I'm not against it. NATO — he said, 'Look, NATO hasn't been paying their fair share. I'm going to make them do that.' He wasn't wrong about that. Israel — moving Israel's embassy to Jerusalem, loved it. He did an animal rights thing and all my PETA friends loved it. And pot — he legalized or decriminalized marijuana. Thank you.
Penises. Penises do not belong in women's prisons. He's not wrong about that. And not just penises. Ballroom.
We don't have a place when they have state dinners. They're doing it in a tent. This is America. So do I give a f*** that he's doing this to the White House? I really don't.
And giving props for saying about the Nick Fuentes Jew-hating wing of the Republican party — Trump is the one who said, and I give him credit for this, he said 'We don't want you.'
And the economy — about a month ago I said, 'Look, I had to own it. I said I thought by July 4th the economy would be in the *******, and it wasn't. I was wrong.' See, that's the difference between you and me, Don. I can admit when I'm wrong, and I can be honest. In fact, I may be the last person from the lunatic left that is still an honest broker when it comes to you.
But honest goes both ways. It's a shame you can't take criticism because in an alternative universe where we could have further honest conversations, I could say things to you that might be quite helpful. Like, Don, I'm going to love you. I'm going to give it to you straight. Some people don't like you. No, really.
Now me — I go by what George Bush said to Obama on the day he was inaugurated. We want you to succeed. I always want the American president to succeed. And I do give credit when you have. But there's lots of stuff you do that is not my idea of success. And I have every right to say so in a democracy.
ICE — yeah, I'm glad you got rid of stone cold criminals, but no one wanted the sadism and stupidity that went along with it. DOGE — a complete disaster. People died for no reason, and it cut no government waste. Coal is not beautiful or clean. Criminalizing dissent is wrong, and so is the juvenile trolling and suing people into silence.
Don, there are things that you do that we — not just me, but we — I mean, even the people who are too scared to talk to you straight, just don't get about you. Taking the side of autocrats instead of Democratic allies around the world. Who hates Canada? And wind. You hate the wind.
And then you wonder why I can't tell what's a joke and what isn't.
It's not derangement for me to be always calling out the election-denying obsession you have, or the pardons for my friends and punishment for my enemy's mode of governing, or the side deals for your family that always seem to be part of everything. We see how rich you've all become, but the people of West Virginia don't seem to be feeling the winning.
A Democratic senator recently said of your administration, 'They are the elites they pretend to hate.'
Free advice: If the Democrats ever learn to weaponize that message, your MAGA movement is in big trouble."
HEY DEMS?!?!
Did you read that last line? Holy sh*t I wish you would!!!
Ukraine became irrelevant
