I, also, will not ask for help in Lowe's. I'm insecure enough in there without the employees' looks of disapproval.
Lowe's employee: Hello, sir, may I help you?
CMD: Nope, I'm doing fine.
>>>>>>
Lowe's employee: Hello, sir, may I help you?
CMD: Hi. I need to buy a screw.
Lowe's employee: You're in the paint aisle.
CMD: Oh, ok.
Lowe's employee: You want hardware, aisle 8.
CMD: Thanks.
Lowe's employee: What kind of screw do you need?
CMD: Um, just a regular one.
Lowe's employee: Well, it depends on your project. We have wood screws, sheet metal screws, deck screws, concrete screws, drywall screws, roofing screws, and machine screws.
CMD: I see. Well, probably deck screws.
Lowe's employee: Wood or composite?
CMD: The screw?
Lowe's employee: No, the deck.
CMD: It's wood.
Lowe's employee: Great. How many deck screws do you need?
CMD: One.
Lowe's employee: I'm sorry, one?
CMD: Yes, just one.
Lowe's employee: Repairing your deck?
CMD: No.
Lowe's employee: Building a deck?
CMD: No.
Lowe's employee: Then why do you need a deck screw?
CMD: To hang a picture.
Lowe's employee: I beg your pardon.
CMD: I just need to hang a picture.
Lowe's employee: Sir, I don't think you need a deck screw. How much does the picture weigh?
CMD: I dunno, it's about 5"x7".
Lowe's employee: Sir, I think you can get by with just a nail for a picture that size.
CMD: Oh, ok. I'll take a nail then.
Lowe's employee: Great. What kind of nail?
CMD: Goddamnit.
