You poor thing. You don't even have the minimal self awareness necessary to realize what a laughingstock you are.
No wonder you couldn't hack it at Widener, and are now consigned to eking out a meager living selling cheap Japanese plastic to unsuspecting rubes, while living in a small hovel with an unpaved driveway, in the middle of nowhere, with tomatoes as your only friends.
You are a cultist too, but that's not what is laughable. What is laughable is every single time you drink clean water, you have to think of me.