OT: Things that should get you the death penalty

Wesson Bulldog

All-Conference
Nov 3, 2015
1,665
1,979
113
Stopping short at a redlight so that the vehicle is not detected as the light goes through multiple cycles without turning green.
Michael Richards Yes GIF
 
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RocketDawg

All-Conference
Oct 21, 2011
19,125
2,161
113
- People who block the entire lane waiting on a parking spot 10 feet closer to the store entrance (primarily happens at Walmart)

- People who leave 5 car lengths between themselves and the car in front of them at a red light, and in a short turn lane. Absolutely no reason to do that. Pull up 5 feet or so behind the next car.

- People who won't stay in their lane in clearly marked dual or triple turn lanes.
 

goindhoo

Junior
Feb 29, 2008
1,209
359
83
Taking two practice swings before hitting the golf ball

Slow play

Standing behind someone's line while they putt
 

vhdawg

All-Conference
Sep 29, 2004
4,506
2,072
113
Where a two-lane road tees into a four-lane road, and has a dedicated left turn lane, and the right turn lane has left and right arrows, and you go sit in the right turn lane to go left and I have to wait on the stupid light because of you.
 

DerHntr

All-Conference
Sep 18, 2007
15,903
2,960
113
Someone loading their stuff onto the very short self-checkout conveyer after standing right on freaking top of you while you scan your stuff. Those 10 seconds you gained will not make your life better. These people also tailgate in the right lane as you near an exit from the interstate. I’m certain of it.
 

T-TownDawgg

All-Conference
Nov 4, 2015
4,654
4,506
113
The sheer number of traffic related posts in this thread reminds me that weapons in vehicles is a bad thing, even if I sometimes choose to carry myself.

The volatility of modern society, traffic BS, and guns is a very real problem for us. I have found myself in situations where I’d definitely kill a MF, and likely regret it later.
Just being real.
 
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HotMop

All-American
May 8, 2006
7,976
6,368
113
The grocery pickup really has been a game changer. I spend substantially less time hating people. Not only do I avoid long trips to the grocery store, but the store is generally less crowded. Only problem now is that at walmart, the scan and go can only be used at self checkout, but the self checkout lines will be backed up while a cashier is completely free because people want to use self checkout to steal. Wish walmart would make the designate at least one lane to scan and go shoppers like they do for spark shoppers.
Pro tip, use the spark aisle, it works at my Walmart.
 

HotMop

All-American
May 8, 2006
7,976
6,368
113
Taking two practice swings before hitting the golf ball

Slow play

Standing behind someone's line while they putt
I stand in the line of the putt, it's like Goofy Gold that way. Walk in place, time it right *****!
 

ZombieKissinger

All-American
May 29, 2013
5,117
8,540
113
Relatedly, allow me to nominate Kroger for shutting down regular aisles and making me self-checkout after like 8pm. If I wanted to work for my food I would plant a garden. And they still have the employees, they just now stand around and watch me scan my banana myself. Which is a lot less fun than it sounds.
if you twerk a little, they’ll tip more and subscribe
 
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ZombieKissinger

All-American
May 29, 2013
5,117
8,540
113
Standing as close as possible to the baggage claim. People act like someone is waiting behind then to jump in and steal their luggage out of their hand. Take one or two steps back so everyone can see down the line. Seriously nobody wants your amazon luggage full of shein clothing.
I feel this way strongly then I’ll see my five closest loved ones do this ****, and I’m filled with despair
 

CochiseCowbell

Heisman
Oct 29, 2012
14,843
12,574
113
1) Those who can't prioritize or, more infuriatingly, refuse to. Not everything is a five alarm emergency.

2) Those with zero disregard or decorum for everyone else in the world.

3) Those who disrespect or belittle hard working folks in what they consider a sub-standard job (which may often be a 2nd or 3rd).
 

johnson86-1

All-American
Aug 22, 2012
14,621
5,099
113
Taking two practice swings before hitting the golf ball

Slow play

Standing behind someone's line while they putt
This is a good one. Golf is dominated by *** holes because the slow play *** holes have chased off normal people. It should not take more than 4 hours to play a round. If you're in a tournament, maybe. If you are betting enough money that you feel the need to take 4.5 or 5 hours on a round, you are apparently betting too much money for your stack.
 
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johnson86-1

All-American
Aug 22, 2012
14,621
5,099
113
Standing as close as possible to the baggage claim. People act like someone is waiting behind then to jump in and steal their luggage out of their hand. Take one or two steps back so everyone can see down the line. Seriously nobody wants your amazon luggage full of shein clothing.
I have some sympathy on this one. usually lots of people around that look like they could work in the Biden administration.

 

vhdawg

All-Conference
Sep 29, 2004
4,506
2,072
113
People in express checkout lanes at the grocery store that clearly have more than the maximum number of items posted on the sign.
I have no idea how long it's been since I've used a non-self-checkout lane at the grocery store.
 

onewoof

Heisman
Mar 4, 2008
15,604
13,945
113
And a followup - restroom doors that you have to pull to exit. The handles are filthy and you've just washed your hands. Use doors you can open with your shoulder.
use a hand towel, stay free from illness and viruses for YEARS
 

Shmuley

Heisman
Mar 6, 2008
23,995
11,126
113
Someone loading their stuff onto the very short self-checkout conveyer after standing right on freaking top of you while you scan your stuff. Those 10 seconds you gained will not make your life better. These people also tailgate in the right lane as you near an exit from the interstate. I’m certain of it.
Dude, it's like you have access to that corner of my mind that controls thoughts of murder and rage. Keep your 17n @$$ and your check-out items out of my 17n space, you 17n moron.
 
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onewoof

Heisman
Mar 4, 2008
15,604
13,945
113
1776436269233.png
Anyone that stops at an ADDED LANE sign thinking it is a merge sign, gets the supersonic water jets of mercy

105d25f2-3e33-46c4-8f47-0a20ee3c6bdb-ezgif.com-optimize.gif

Please, take the DMV test again and educate your ignorant self

1776436313905.png

 

BTCMoonBoy

Junior
Dec 4, 2024
366
280
63
use a hand towel, stay free from illness and viruses for YEARS
Oh gawd cmon - you sound like my wife. There’s more fecal matter on shopping carts, handrails, and gas pump handles than a public bathroom door. Hell if you eat out you’re more likely to catch something than from a public restroom
 
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thekimmer

All-Conference
Aug 30, 2012
8,496
2,526
113
People in front of me making a turn who straddle the line being half in the turn lane and half in the travel lane. They also invariably slow to about 5 MPH to make their turn
 

onewoof

Heisman
Mar 4, 2008
15,604
13,945
113
Oh gawd cmon - you sound like my wife. There’s more fecal matter on shopping carts, handrails, and gas pump handles than a public bathroom door. Hell if you eat out you’re more likely to catch something than from a public restroom
more on your cell phone screen - but seriously, the nasty bacteria and virals loads on bathroom door handles is how illnesses spread the easiest and fastest, other than spittle, sneezes, coughs. Its not the microscopic ones on carts, handrails, gas pumps. The bathroom door handle has millions of fresh living bacteria and viruses, guessing it is an order of magnitude higher than other things mentioned.
 
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