OT - engagement ring advice for son...

[DHajekRC84]

asked me for some but my deal was 30+ years ago....is there a better method to buy vs. just "go to Jareds" ? (I actually new a person who worked in NYC and went in, bought the stone, and had it custom mounted..but I had help!)

looking at making the move next few months... is there a smarter method out there vs. commercial retailer/mall thing ? thanks..

 

[RU4Real]

Is there a local jeweler that you trust? If so, that's a way to go.

Beyond that, familiarize him with the 4 Cs (Carat, Color, Cut, Clarity). All stones (should) come with a certificate that describes the quality of the stone. A good jeweler will encourage you to examine the diamond under a microscope and point out any flaws.

As a general rule, it's better to emphasize the gem quality over the size. A smaller, better quality diamond will look better in the setting than a slightly larger one with obvious flaws.

Lastly, I would highly recommend the traditional round cut. They just look better.

 

[rubaseball78_rivals]

We've had a lot of success buying diamond jewelry from Ianelli Diamonds in the diamond district.

 

[DHajekRC84]

Is there a local jeweler that you trust? If so, that's a way to go.

Beyond that, familiarize him with the 4 Cs (Carat, Color, Cut, Clarity). All stones (should) come with a certificate that describes the quality of the stone. A good jeweler will encourage you to examine the diamond under a microscope and point out any flaws.

As a general rule, it's better to emphasize the gem quality over the size. A smaller, better quality diamond will look better in the setting than a slightly larger one with obvious flaws.

Lastly, I would highly recommend the traditional round cut. They just look better.

yeah, I just "googled" for the heck of it and your comments are spot on (I agree ). I guess HER style will dictate the shape...

what's your thought on pricing..not how much to pay but know you're getting a fair price? Thanks!

 

[RU4Real]

yeah, I just "googled" for the heck of it and your comments are spot on (I agree ). I guess HER style will dictate the shape...

what's your thought on pricing..not how much to pay but know you're getting a fair price? Thanks!

Honestly, I don't know. I've bought two diamonds, 30 years ago and 10 years ago.

The first one was my wife's "first" engagement ring. I bought it because (and this goes to show you how these decisions are made sometimes) it weighed in at EXACTLY 1.000 carats, had 'D' color and was flawless except for a single tiny feather that could only be seen under magnification. It cost me $4k.

20 years later, it turned up lost. My wife 'bout had a nervous breakdown over it. Since we were coming up on our 20th anniversary and our circumstance were conducive, I bought her another diamond to mark the occasion. This one is just shy of 2 1/4 carats, F color and no discernible flaws. It cost me $12.5k from a local jeweler that I have a good relationship with.

BTW - the 1st diamond turned up 6 months later. Found it on the kitchen counter, under a shelf. There's no way it could have been there the whole time. While we maintain the "mystery", I also know that it's not uncommon for engagement stones to go missing from time to time, only to be found after they've been replaced by something bigger.

She had the older one made into a pendant, wears it every day and it's gorgeous. That's the thing about a really good diamond - they're heirloom pieces.

 

[RU Golfer]

yeah, I just "googled" for the heck of it and your comments are spot on (I agree ). I guess HER style will dictate the shape...

what's your thought on pricing..not how much to pay but know you're getting a fair price? Thanks!

I know people that had success buying online from blue nile. You should at least go there and read their education section https://www.bluenile.com/education/diamonds?track=NavDiaEdu

 

[JBL7979]

I bought online from JAMES Allen last year, they get pretty good reviews. I was happy with what I got (although I got a Pink Sapphire as my fiancee did not want a diamond).

 

[RC1978]

asked me for some but my deal was 30+ years ago....is there a better method to buy vs. just "go to Jareds" ? (I actually new a person who worked in NYC and went in, bought the stone, and had it custom mounted..but I had help!)

looking at making the move next few months... is there a smarter method out there vs. commercial retailer/mall thing ? thanks..

My son just picked his up on Saturday. He went to two places in the city and did his research and pricing and ended buying his at Earth Treasures.
As already suggested get to know the 4C's. They will tell you clarity is one of the areas you can play with since after a certain level you need a microscope to see the flaws. All diamonds have some flaws unless you are getting a flawless that will cost big bucks. Some people just want a bigger stone and let the other parts slip a little.

A round diamond will be the most expensive but if that what the women wants ....

Make sure to look at the diamond through a microscope and it matches the GIA paperwork

Color is another area where sometimes it is hard to see the difference. Be careful with the lighting. The lighting in the jewlers will make the diamond sparkle. Our saleslady was very upfront and showed us the diamond in different light.

Don't get ripped off on the setting, that is where some places make most of their margin. He just got a very plain platinum setting because that is what she wants.

 

[MulletCork]

I bought online from Jared Allen last year, they get pretty good reviews. I was happy with what I got (although I got a Pink Sapphire as my fiancee did not want a diamond).

Congratulations! But you got your ring from a former NFL player with a mullet? Haha, congrats though!

 

[JBL7979]

Congratulations! But you got your ring from a former NFL player with a mullet? Haha, congrats though!

LOL fixed!

 

[PhilaPhans]

100% important ... please find ways for him to figure out what she likes (have him talk to her friend, drop hints with her, whatever). Surprise, but women are incredibly picky sometimes about their jewelry. Oh, and Zales, Jared, and K are all owned by the same company. Those stores are a bit of a racket. Try to avoid them and go somewhere a little more professional.

People will definitely recommend the diamond district in NY/Philly/wherever. BlueNile.com also has a number of good guides to read through, and offer good internet pricing on diamonds.

 

[miketd1]

Tell him to get something that would look right at home with her current fancy/"good" jewelry inventory (as opposed to decorative or costume jewelry -- Google is your friend if you/he don't know the difference).

Congrats & good luck to him!

 

[Foads]

I got engaged a few years ago and Bluenile is the way to go. They will walk you through anything and everything.

 

[R1766U_rivals]

Bought my wifes ring at the Jewlrey Exchange in Woodbridge. Specifically, guy named John who owns the booth Romancing the Stone. He is a very honest, no pressure guy. He can custom make anything and get any type of diamond you want. He also has been excellent with lifetime polishing/cleaning and even replacing a few of the tiny tiny accent diamonds that have fell out. (The settting has some bigger diamonds and many smal tiny ones that look like grains of salt. A few small ones have fallen out and he always replaces them no charge). He also will give you lifetime upgrades and guarantees all stones.

I shopped around and around and around. Considered blue nile online, his prices were very similar plus the bonus of seeing the stones in person.

Dont pay attention to the prices on his website he is very negotiable..nice discount for cash. The added bonus of him being in The jewelry exchange is you can take his ring over to next guy and pit them against eachother. It can be very annoying in there especially if you do not know what you are looking for.

https://romancingthestones.com/#/home

I would make sure he knows what his gf wants. Then, use blue nile to compare prices and the C's. Finally, go to some local places, telling them what he is looking for and get prices. Goodluck.

 

[SkilletHead2]

Just my thoughts:

1. Have your son go with her to get the ring unless he already knows just what she wants. Or they can "design" it themselves. Most good jewelers will make you a ring.

2. Get a stone slightly under 1.00 or whatever size you want. Price drops off substantially for a .95 compared to a 1.00. Just tell people it's 1.00.

3. This one is controversial. The 4 C's are important to jewelers and nobody else. Your daughter-in-law's friends are not going to be looking at the stone under a magnifying glass. Get a stone that looks good to the naked eye. You can get a larger stone for the money that way. Don't get one that looks bad, but if it takes a magnifying glass to see the problem, is it really a problem? And get a kick-*** setting for it. (Having said that, we got good quality stones for Moms Skillethead, but second marriage. More funds.)

4. Bargain if you have the cajones for it.

 

[patk89]

Tiffany's? Just kidding. I had her pick it out with her mother and just paid for it. Yes, not very romantic. Her mother had some good contacts and I just told her the max budget ($20K) and she spent that amount.

 

[greenknight]

Talk him out of it

 

[mildone_rivals]

I always wondered how much fraud takes place when buying diamond rings.

This goes back a long way, but my ex-wife and I took what I assume is the typical route of choosing a stone first with the 4 C's and then choosing a setting. My ex then went shopping while I negotiated the price. Then the jeweler took a few days or so to cut the stone and mount it into the setting.

But I always wondered what prevents the jeweler from substituting a less valuable diamond when cutting and setting it? I mean, any obvious difference would be, well, obvious. But what about less obvious differences that might save the jeweler a few hundred dollars or so?

I used a microscope and all when shopping for diamonds, and I recall seeing differences between one stone and another. But I wasn't particularly confident in my ability to know what the hell I was looking at, other than the very obvious differences.

 

[DHajekRC84]

Talk him out of it

[laughing]

 

[DHajekRC84]

I always wondered how much fraud takes place when buying diamond rings.

This goes back a long way, but my ex-wife and I took what I assume is the typical route of choosing a stone first with the 4 C's and then choosing a setting. My ex then went shopping while I negotiated the price. Then the jeweler took a few days or so to cut the stone and mount it into the setting.

But I always wondered what prevents the jeweler from substituting a less valuable diamond when cutting and setting it? I mean, any obvious difference would be, well, obvious. But what about less obvious differences that might save the jeweler a few hundred dollars or so?

I used a microscope and all when shopping for diamonds, and I recall seeing differences between one stone and another. But I wasn't particularly confident in my ability to know what the hell I was looking at, other than the very obvious differences.

now you're the guy who I expected to say skip the engagement and just go spend it on hookers and blow lol. :sunglasses:

 

[koleszar]

now you're the guy who I expected to say skip the engagement and just go spend it on hookers and blow lol. :sunglasses:

When I got married I thought I got lucky. My wife said I don't want an expensive ring, just buy me the farm of my dreams. So I did. As time has passed, I realized I was bamboozled. Farms are a lot of work, I should have went for door #1 and bought that damn ring.

 

[DJ Spanky]

But I always wondered what prevents the jeweler from substituting a less valuable diamond when cutting and setting it? I mean, any obvious difference would be, well, obvious. But what about less obvious differences that might save the jeweler a few hundred dollars or so?

That is the absolute kicker right there - be very, very careful where you get the stone - and once you've selected the stone don't let it out of your sight. I know of at least 2 cases where people got burned, a less valuable stone was swapped in. And my wife, having been in the business, knows of a lot more.

100% important ... please find ways for him to figure out what she likes (have him talk to her friend, drop hints with her, whatever). Surprise, but women are incredibly picky sometimes about their jewelry.

Word! Definitely find out what she likes, or pop the question and then collaborate with her.

Oh, and Zales, Jared, and K are all owned by the same company. Those stores are a bit of a racket. Try to avoid them and go somewhere a little more professional.

Yep, definitely on the cheaper side.

 

[Knight Shift]

asked me for some but my deal was 30+ years ago....is there a better method to buy vs. just "go to Jareds" ? (I actually new a person who worked in NYC and went in, bought the stone, and had it custom mounted..but I had help!)

looking at making the move next few months... is there a smarter method out there vs. commercial retailer/mall thing ? thanks..

 

[mildone_rivals]

ROFL. How much **** do you think he caught after that little diatribe? [roll]

 

[mildone_rivals]

That is the absolute kicker right there - be very, very careful where you get the stone - and once you've selected the stone don't let it out of your sight. I know of at least 2 cases where people got burned, a less valuable stone was swapped in. And my wife, having been in the business, knows of a lot more.

I figured as much. Not sure how people can not let the stone out of their sight. Is not like the merchant was going to cut, polish and set the stone with us standing there waiting.

 

[ashokan]

Diamond rings are worse than cars for plummeting in actual value once taken out the door. People who break-up an engagement or get divorced are shocked at what they can actually resell diamond rings for (half of first price not unsual). Not to scare anyone away - just saying there are bargains on nice stones with a little precision, power shopping and maybe a remodeling etc,

https://www.idonowidont.com/

 

[CornerTavern]

asked me for some but my deal was 30+ years ago....is there a better method to buy vs. just "go to Jareds" ? (I actually new a person who worked in NYC and went in, bought the stone, and had it custom mounted..but I had help!)

looking at making the move next few months... is there a smarter method out there vs. commercial retailer/mall thing ? thanks..

Where is he located? Roughly?

 

[Scarlet Haze]

Do what I did......pop the question without a ring. Then tell her that we can either put the ring money towards a house deposit or a ring (she will pick house). Tell her if she picks the house, you will get her a ring later when "we can afford it" and it will likely be nicer than what you would get now. In the meantime she can wear her wedding band. A win-win for all and you get a house deposit that much sooner. That's the smart and logical thing to do, after all you can't live in a ring and it does not appreciate like a house.

 

[Rufaninga]

Buy from a reputable business. 20 years ago, purchased engagement ring where Shane Co gives lifetime warranty. This year, smaller stone missing on ring, wife is emotionally upset. I pulled out warranty. read I was supposed to take ring in 2 times a year for service and cleaning. Well, I might have done that in year 1, but not last 19. My wife brought in the ring, they mentioned it should be in yearly to keep it tight, but they replaced diamond at No charge, even though we had not adhered to warranty. Next time I buy her jewelry, I'll be heading back to same place.

 

[i'vegotwinners]

Is there a local jeweler that you trust? If so, that's a way to go.

Beyond that, familiarize him with the 4 Cs (Carat, Color, Cut, Clarity). All stones (should) come with a certificate that describes the quality of the stone. A good jeweler will encourage you to examine the diamond under a microscope and point out any flaws.

As a general rule, it's better to emphasize the gem quality over the size. A smaller, better quality diamond will look better in the setting than a slightly larger one with obvious flaws.

Lastly, I would highly recommend the traditional round cut. They just look better.

i know nothing about jewelry, and even less about women.

that said, with the 4 Cs thing, i'd be willing to bet if you put 10 rings in front of a woman and said "pick one", most would opt for the biggest looking stone regardless of the other Cs, as long as it wasn't noticeably discolored or something.

 

[koolraddad]

My two cents. Unless you have a specific referral to a store in either New York or one of the "diamond Exchanges", don't go. They will see you coming. Stay with a store that has a reputation. I agree the 4C's are for suckers. The most important thing is, that she likes it. Set a budget and go from there. For a local store, I will give my personal recommendation, for what it's worth. Roman Jewelers in Bridgewater. Ask for Lucy, owners daughter or Marie "B". Tell them Bruce the Atty sent you.

 

[RUnTeX]

($20K)

Damn, that is some budget.

On a related note, I don't know if the rule of thumb of spending a certain percentage (20-25%?) of a guy's salary on an engagement ring is still followed by folks but that always struck me as exceptionally frivolous.

@Scarlet Haze had the right idea about house vs. ring...that's some sage advice there.

 

[RU4Real]

On a related note, I don't know if the rule of thumb of spending a certain percentage (20-25%?) of a guy's salary on an engagement ring is still followed by folks but that always struck me as exceptionally frivolous.

I always hated that one, too. If I'm spending three months salary on anything, I'm buyin' a freakin' Porsche.

 

[kcg88]

Marchi Jewelry in Philadelphia. He did the ring for my fiance... She wanted non-traditional so I got a sapphire ring with diamond accents. It's a tiny shop on Jewelers' Row but he does great work.

 

[beaced_rivals]

Honestly, I don't know. I've bought two diamonds, 30 years ago and 10 years ago.

The first one was my wife's "first" engagement ring. I bought it because (and this goes to show you how these decisions are made sometimes) it weighed in at EXACTLY 1.000 carats, had 'D' color and was flawless except for a single tiny feather that could only be seen under magnification. It cost me $4k.

20 years later, it turned up lost. My wife 'bout had a nervous breakdown over it. Since we were coming up on our 20th anniversary and our circumstance were conducive, I bought her another diamond to mark the occasion. This one is just shy of 2 1/4 carats, F color and no discernible flaws. It cost me $12.5k from a local jeweler that I have a good relationship with.

BTW - the 1st diamond turned up 6 months later. Found it on the kitchen counter, under a shelf. There's no way it could have been there the whole time. While we maintain the "mystery", I also know that it's not uncommon for engagement stones to go missing from time to time, only to be found after they've been replaced by something bigger.

She had the older one made into a pendant, wears it every day and it's gorgeous. That's the thing about a really good diamond - they're heirloom pieces.

 

[RU848789]

I chose well - my future wife agreed she'd rather spend $10K on a kick *** 3-week honeymooon in Spain and Portugal than on an inert piece of carbon.

 

[RU4Real]

I chose well - my future wife agreed she'd rather spend $10K on a kick *** 3-week honeymooon in Spain and Portugal than on an inert piece of carbon.

Guess it's a good thing she got you for free, eh what?

 

[DJ Spanky]

I figured as much. Not sure how people can not let the stone out of their sight. Is not like the merchant was going to cut, polish and set the stone with us standing there waiting.

Well, most people buy stones which are already cut and polished. As far as setting it, well, what's the big deal, a dab of Krazy Glue and you're all set.

 

[mildone_rivals]

Well, most people buy stones which are already cut and polished. As far as setting it, well, what's the big deal, a dab of Krazy Glue and you're all set.

Maybe that was the case with us and I just got screwed. Was a long time ago. Luckily, it's not my problem anymore.

 

[Knights 1212]

It is a long time ago but in 1973 I brought my future wife to the diamond district in NYC. My wife picked out a diamond just under one carat. She loved it so we both were happy. My wife wore it proudy until 2014 when she passed away from cancer. I was lucky as she was so easy to please. She never asked for much.